A MUM who was forced to get rid of her baby for medical reasons has revealed her growing anger over her pro-life mother joining anti-abortion protests in Glasgow insisting she “cannot be silent anymore”.
The 45-year-old – who has requested to remain anonymous – has told The National she has been “hurt” by her mum joining anti-choice demonstrations when she knows eight years ago an abortion saved her daughter’s life following an ectopic pregnancy, and allowed her to have a child just a few years later.
She claims the abortion was an exception and insists protesters are being misrepresented in the press as most are not against treatment for ectopic pregnancies, but her daughter says she finds this “so offensive” as she feels her abortion was no different to anyone else’s.
The Lanarkshire woman – whose mum has protested with 40 Days for Life at the Queen Elizabeth University Hospital for several years – got in touch with The National on the back of its Give Us Space campaign, which is calling for anti-protest buffer zones to be put in place around abortion clinics as a matter of urgency to protect women from harassment when accessing healthcare.
She said she had made allowances for her mum’s beliefs her whole life and tried not to let it ruin their relationship but, after seeing The National’s campaign, felt she had to speak out.
“We’ve spoken about it over the years but I’ve tried not to have an argument about it,” she told The National.
“I kind of thought she had stopped going because of the pandemic and I thought she wouldn’t go back, but she did.
“So when I saw her in a video and I contacted her, I actually managed to say to her 'how can you do this?' when you know this is something that saved my life.
“This is when she said [my abortion is] not the same and said pro-life people are not against this treatment, and I find that so offensive."
'I don't feel like an exception'
She went on: “It made me so angry because what is it to do with them? Why are these random people allowed to approve of what I did, but disapprove of what somebody else did with their own body? It’s just crazy to me.
“It's no different because it’s about body autonomy. Despite the fact I got the ‘good’ abortion, I do not feel like that. I don't feel like an exception. It’s the same medicine, the nurses are the same nurses, you go to the same clinics.
“I really feel that’s a point that needs to be made. They [protesters] shouldn’t be the ones making exceptions, it’s not up to them.
“I’ve made allowances for this my whole adult life and tried not to let our relationship be ruined by this disagreement, but this is personal. It hurts. I cannot be silent anymore."
She added the protesters are “not caring or well-meaning” despite their claims otherwise. She described how her mum had told her there was “graffiti” at the QEUH during a recent protest when these were, in fact, messages from pro-choice activists saying phrases like “your body, your choice”.
An ectopic pregnancy – like she experienced – occurs when a fertilised egg implants itself outside the womb, usually in the fallopian tubes. When this happens, the egg doesn’t develop into a baby and the mother's health can be at risk if the pregnancy continues.
The college lecturer desperately wanted a child but had no choice but to take pills to terminate her pregnancy.
'The debate is causing people pain'
She said it was horrible, but is in many ways grateful for the procedure and the care she received from nurses at the time.
Not only does she now have a healthy and happy seven-year-old son, but she hasn’t spent all that much time thinking about her experience because of the kindness of staff at the time and the fact she didn’t have to run past protesters.
That has been the case until the last few months anyway, when she has found herself getting upset at the topic dominating the news agenda.
She now wants to see buffer zones put in place as fast as possible as she feels the debate – as necessary as it is – dragging on is causing pain for more women than just those going into the clinic for treatment, including herself.
“The main impact of these protests is undoubtedly on people who are going in for treatment on the day,” she added.
“But I’ve been quite upset by this over the past month and it brings up a lot of things for a lot of people who have had terminations.
“To have this debate drag on and see these scenes every year – I’m not saying the debate shouldn’t happen, it has to happen – but I think that it is bringing up a lot of stuff that wouldn’t actually come up otherwise.
“I don’t think about my ectopic pregnancy much, but this brought it up for me in a new way.
“I had such wonderful care at the hospital I went to which was the Princess Royal. It was honestly incredible and, although in some ways it was a horrible experience, it was a really good experience because the kindness stayed with me.
“I do think about how that might have changed if I had to run past protesters on the way in. I’m not sure I would have been left with that feeling. So that’s why it’s not been on my mind really, as well having a child a year later.
“Making this experience as easy and safe and comfortable as possible makes a real difference to how you think about it afterwards.”
Gillian Mackay said last week a final proposal for her Abortion Services Safe Access Zones (Scotland) Bill, along with the consultation analysis, will be published by summer recess, which begins on July 1.
The bill, if passed, will stop anti-choice protesters from targeting medical facilities that provide abortion services, with the preference being that police enforce buffer zones nationally. Similar legislation is now in force in Northern Ireland as of this week, while MPs at Westminster have also passed a law for England and Wales as part of the Public Order Bill.
MSPs across all parties have already expressed their support for the legislation as has First Minister Humza Yousaf.
