When Theo told Eve* on their very first date he had spent time in prison over a decade ago for 'shoving' an ex-partner, she took his honesty as a sign he had changed.
The pair met on Tinder and, after their first date, the relationship moved quickly. They bonded over similar troubled childhoods, and over the coming weeks, Eve felt herself falling for the man who was 'clear' that any violent past was just that - a past that he had left behind ten years ago.
But just a month later after they started seeing one another, Eve began receiving messages on social media from another of Theo's exes, who claimed that he had been 'physically abusive' towards her during the course of their previous, long-term relationship.
Eve, who has asked for names to be changed out of concern for her safety, says Theo had already 'warned' her about this ex by this point. He had told her that she was 'jealous' - and he even showed her 'nasty' messages she had sent him about Eve since they started dating, criticising her appearance and asking him why he was dating her. When she confronted him with the woman's allegations, he insisted she was lying.
"I would never normally believe the jealous ex story, but the way she spoke to me left me really unsettled," Eve told the Manchester Evening News. "I believed him because I couldn't understand why if you were really concerned for someone else, you would try and warn them in that way."
So, Eve stuck by Theo - a man she was falling in love with, and who she felt she had no reason to distrust. "I'm a believer in giving people chances," she said. "And he didn't do anything for a long time that made me feel worried.
"Now, it's obvious to me that him warning me about her was him being manipulative."
But the messages were enough to plant a small seed of doubt into Eve's mind. She remembered a scheme she had been told about a few years ago. Launched in 2014, the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (DVDS) - often called Clare's Law - allows concerned partners and their families access to confidential information regarding a person's history with domestic abuse if they believe they are at risk.
Eve reached out to Greater Manchester Police (GMP) and made a request. She decided not to tell Theo initially, worried it would damage their relationship, but eventually admitted to him she had made the enquiry.
"I felt guilty because I was like saying to him, 'I know you're not your past'. And then I was going behind his back and doing this," she said. "When I told him he just seemed more upset than anything, which I saw as a green flag because if this man were actually bad, he would be mad."
Theo then admitted to Eve what police later told her - that he had been locked up for common assault, as he initially told her, but that he had punched his ex-partner in the face, rather than 'shoved' her. He also told her he had previously been arrested on suspicion of rape, but was never prosecuted. His confession was backed up by what police revealed to Eve after her Clare's Law request.
But Eve was already falling in love with the man who Theo had shown Eve he could be over the last few months of their relationship. "He promised me a lot of things and had done a lot for me," she said, adding that he made her feel he hadn't tried to keep anything from her.
"He made it seem as if he would have always told me if I'd just asked, and I believed him," she said. "And I thought I could have stepped away if I'd wanted to.
"You don't notice that somebody is slowly tightening the noose around your neck while it's happening."
Looking back, Eve can recognise the ways in which Theo's dishonesty lulled her into a false sense of security. But at the time, he was still the caring, loving man she wanted to trust - a man who had overcome his violent past.
Greater Manchester Police tried to warn Eve further about Theo. But she believes the information she was given and the way it was provided pushed her further into an 'us versus them' pattern of thinking. A pattern of thinking that Theo had instilled in her from their very first date, when, admitting to having served time for the incident involving a former partner, he said the judge wanted to make an example of him, that the system was rigged against people from backgrounds like theirs, and that he had never got the support he needed when he was a youngster.
About a fortnight after she made the request, an officer phoned Eve and confirmed there was relevant information about Theo to disclose. The officer told her the details needed to be disclosed in person - so Eve met him in an unmarked police car, parked a short distance from her flat.
"It was bizarre," she recalled. "I went and sat in his car and he showed me his badge. Then I had to sign some forms saying I wouldn't tell anybody what I had heard, because it wasn't my data.
"I remember feeling a bit scared by the prospect that I could get in trouble."
A Home Office spokesperson said due to the fact that the information being disclosed is about a person or potential perpetrator who hasn’t given permission or isn’t aware that this information is being disclosed, some data protection rules apply.
Theo's file revealed both the common assault conviction and the sexual allegation she already knew about , as well as arrests for 'domestic altercations' between him and a different partner that he was also never charged over. But the request also uncovered information she hadn't been expecting, about a complaint made against him from an ex-partner he had never been arrested for, and possibly didn't even know about.
"The officer kept telling me to just stay away from Theo, and that a leopard never changes its spots," she said. "I think the whole way that he was and what was disclosed pushed me even further towards Theo again, because he was telling me stuff that he had been accused of with no evidence, and even his arrests were from ten years ago."
Her experience with the DVDS took about a month in total - a timescale Eve questions, wondering if it's quick enough for those at risk. GMP say they 'aim to complete all disclosures as quickly as possible within the national guidance' of 35 days. But Eve says her experience with the Clare's Law process felt 'cold' and 'insensitive' - playing into Theo's narrative that the system couldn't be trusted.
"People that are making these requests are people that are already pretty much under the spell of whoever is abusing, so in my opinion, there needs to be more sensitivity about how the information is given," she said. "Because the officer's attitude - all it did was confirm Theo's story of someone who's been seen wrong by the police, hasn't had any support, never got a chance...it just fed right into it.
"Honestly, all it did was make me believe him more."
Eve says she would have preferred a female officer. Asked about that, and about her concerns about how the information about Theo's past was provided to her, a GMP spokesperson told the M.E.N: "Nationally, police officers are trained to complete domestic violence disclosures with care, compassion and discretion, regardless of their gender. If a victim requests their case be directed to a specific gendered officer then GMP would seek to facilitate this request.
“Our officers maintain confidentiality and sensitivity when dealing with domestic abuse disclosures. Unmarked police vehicles may be utilised by officers to help keep victims safe.”
Looking back, Eve now says she can see how Theo worked to make her dependent on him and 'dismantle' everything she thought about herself, and her trust in others. But following the Clare's Law request she stayed with him, believing still in his capacity for change.
The pair continued dating - but last year, Theo became 'aggressive' after he had been drinking and, when Eve tried to flee, he struggled with her, causing her to hit her hand. Theo told her it was an 'accident', playing out of his fear she was going to run away, and Eve asked him to stop drinking, in an attempt to stem his aggression.
Weeks later, Eve saw the side of Theo she had hoped she never would. The pair were enjoying a meal together in her flat, when after drinking, he again became 'aggressive'.
Eve locked herself in the bathroom and called 999, terrified he was going to attack her with a knife in the row. But he forced the door open, and Eve was flung across the room before being assaulted so violently she says 'I thought I was going to die'.
"I was petrified. I still am. I have flashbacks to it, even now. I don't sleep," she said, following the incident, in which she was choked.
Police attended, and Theo was arrested and later pleaded guilty to charges including assault. But he was allowed to walk free after receiving a non-custodial sentence - and Eve says she has been left to pick up the pieces alone.
She told the M.E.N she was not given any support, either during court proceedings or after, to help her deal with the traumatic effects of domestic abuse on her life.
"I told the court how I'm being assessed for PTSD, that I didn't leave my home for nearly a month, how it's impacted the job that I just got because I've been working from home," she said. "I don't sleep. I've been like relying heavily on medication. I used to have substance abuse problems that have come back because I can't sleep.
"I wrote in my statement that I'm petrified of him doing this to someone else. The judge read it. And then they gave him a suspended sentence - it's just mad to me.
"I think it's disgusting that he's (not been sent to jail), because he is very calculated," she said. "It's not some guy that's just lashed out - he knows what he's doing.
"I'm petrified he will do it again."
In a statement provided to the M.E.N, GMP said: “GMP are dedicated to ensuring all victims of domestic abuse are cared for compassionately and receive the upmost support.
"GMP continues to be committed to tackling domestic abuse perpetrators across Greater Manchester and ensuring victims and survivors receive support.”
A Home Office spokesperson said: “Domestic abuse is a despicable crime and one which this government is determined to tackle.
“That is why the Home Secretary recently announced a package of measures which go further than ever before in protecting women and girls from domestic violence.
"These measures include changes to Clare's Law to ensure victims are better protected by reducing the wait times for disclosure. We are also changing the law so that the most dangerous domestic abusers will be watched more closely and police forces are required to treat violence against women and girls as a national threat.”
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