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Bristol Post
Bristol Post
Nisha Mal

'My parents and I were all diagnosed with cancer three months apart'

A woman who lost both parents to cancer while dealing with her own diagnosis has decided to stop wearing a watch - so she can embrace life. Both Eric Duffus, 76, and Elizabeth Duffus, 72, died from cancer while daughter Gill Duffus-Simpson, 44, was dealing with her own illness.

All three were diagnosed within three months of each other at the end of 2010 and the start of 2011. But Gill Duffus-Simpson, a mature student, from Moray, Scotland, says she doesn't want cancer to define her.

And she's taken the unusual step of taking off her watch permanently - to try and appreciate time more. She said: "When I got my diagnosis I was catapulted out of this world - I went into a bubble.

"I was present on earth but I didn't feel like I was present. It felt like my world had paused. I live my life in a positive way now - we can't change the past.

"But we can develop resilience and coping mechanisms to how we respond in life. Now I go to yoga, I go to the gym. But before my diagnosis I would say, 'I don't have time for that'. But what is time?

"None of us know how much time we have left on the earth. I don't wear a watch - because what is the point?" Gill was diagnosed with breast cancer two months after Eric was diagnosed with bowel cancer.

Elizabeth, a retired social worker, was then was diagnosed with breast cancer two weeks later. Gill moved back home to be with her parents - and they renamed their home Ward 17.

Elizabeth beat her initial diagnosis but, when she went in for a hip replacement, was told cancer had got into her bones. She passed away in November 2016, aged 72.

Ten years after their first diagnosis, Gill and Eric both discovered their cancers had returned in 2021. Gill has to have a double mastectomy - a surgery in which both breasts are removed at the same time.

And Eric sadly passed away from stomach cancer in September 2021, aged 76. Gill said: "The triple diagnosis was horrific.

"It was like something out of a movie, you cannot prepare for it. I moved back home to be with my parents for moral support and we organised our diaries around who was getting chemo and when.

Gill with her parents at her graduation (Gill Duffus-Simpson / SWNS)

"My mum did really well with her chemo, I didn't do so well. I would pick up any infection so I had to go into isolation. We renamed the house Ward 17. We have always been a positive family.

"We always try and find something good in everything. We renamed the house as community nurses would come in and we would ask which patient they were looking for." Gill met partner Derrick, 61, after getting the all-clear.

And they welcomed their son Maitland, seven, in 2015, before tying the knot in Mexico in 2017. Elizabeth sadly died a year earlier.

And, after rebuilding their lives after the loss, Gill and Eric were told their cancers were back. Gill said: "I went for a shower one day and I found an inverted nipple.

"I contacted a GP and they told me it was nothing to worry about but I wasn't convinced. My dad then paid for me to go private and a few days later they found I have multiple tumours in both breasts.

"It was like 'how much more can we take' we were great believers that you are given stuff in life that will test you but it will be nothing you can't handle. This was really difficult, there was nothing to blame.

"My dad passed away in August 2021, six days after he was diagnosed with stomach cancer." Now, nearly three years on, Gill is living with cancer and will require checkups for the rest of her life to keep the cancer under control.

Since her double cancer diagnosis, Gill has stopped wearing a watch and said she is in control of her life. She said: "It makes you re-evaluate life, you re-evaluate everything.

"You stop worrying about things that you would use to worry about. I have started going to yoga and I do fitness classes.

"I hope stopped saying I don't have time to go to things as none of us know how much time we have on this earth. I don't wear a watch anymore because what is the point, I am my own person I will do my own thing."

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