This My Lady Jane episode 5 recap contains spoilers for the Prime Video series.
Queen Jane causes a stir by inviting a load of Ethians to her Coronation Ball and tries to lure Mary into a trap at the same time, yet her mendacious rival proves quite slippery. Elsewhere, Edward finds himself wondering who he can trust when he's told some shocking news by his grandmother Mary Beaufort...
'Stop whingeing...'
We’re still reeling from the intentional obfuscation for.. Sorry, twist, about King Edward being alive and it turns out he’s safe in the care of Margaret Beaufort. He’s calling her granny, but in reality she’s his great granny. (That’s the only historical error we can find in this totally accurate series tbf). “Stop whingeing” she tells him with a smile that hints he’d better listen.
Granny Beaufort tells Edward everything at the palace is fine, which of course isn’t true, although Jane has survived being throttled by Princess Mary, who stole all the evidence the Grey girls discovered.
Jane consults her father-in-law, who gives her a crash course in court politics. “The council are not your friends!” he offers, before pointing out that without evidence, it will be difficult to prove Mary tried to kill her. We’re not sure Henry VIII would have tolerated this kind of limit on his power, although history teaches us that monarchs are often vulnerable during the early days of their reign — the real Jane Grey’s history in particular. If our intrepid heroine wants to last longer than nine days, she needs to start giving orders rather than making requests.
Lord Dudley urges Jane to name his son her King to strengthen her position, but she’s reticent. “If you want to get the nobility onside, play by the f****** rules” he says, but we don’t think Jane is going to be manipulated or mansplained by anyone.
'Beasts are the root of her unhappiness...'
Aware that she’s revealed her hand to Queen Jane far too early, Princess Mary recruits Lord Norfolk in the hope he can use his army to help her take the throne. He’ll do it, but he wants to be Lord Chancellor, which is Lord Seymour’s position. Now comes the real test for Princess Mary, will she choose to spank Jane on the battlefield or keep spanking Seymour in the bedroom? We suppose she could have both if she really wants.
Later on Seymour says he’s unwilling to play "smacky bottom" if Mary doesn’t respect him professionally — good for you mate — so it seems they’re through. He’s clearly a mendacious creep, but we can’t help wondering if the Princess might come to regret casting off her closest ally at some point in the not-too-distant future.
In the Ethian camp, their leader Archer has news that the Queen of Scotland — another Mary! — has promised to accept them in society if they fight by her side. “All we have to do is take the English throne!” says one, before a group of knights attack them.
Susannah immediately comes to the palace to ask why the soldiers set upon them “in the name of Queen Jane” and she responds by disbanding the Kingsland Guard and threatening to hang anyone who disobeys her orders. That’s more like it. However, when Princess Mary hears, she almost attacks her rival in front of the whole court. “She really hates Ethians,” says Jane, whereupon Lord Dudley explains that's probably because her father divorced her mother for Anne Boleyn, a notorious Ethian. “Beasts are not only evil, but the route of all her unhappiness,” he explains, yet Jane thinks her visceral hatred could be the key to her downfall.
However, all of Jane’s fine intentions are checked slightly when Susannah insists there’s no cure for Ethianism, before telling the story of a young boy who tried to undergo treatment to cure him from the condition, only to be beaten to death. “You must never question our right to exist,” says Susannah, in a thinly veiled allusion to the cruel practices some prescribe to "cure" people of their homosexuality these days.
Jane might share Susannah’s Tudor idealism, yet her mother certainly doesn’t and after discovering the truth about her son-in-law, offers to arrange a divorce. Frances insists that she must leave him and Jane refuses, but is she right? We’ve known she loved Guildford for a few episodes now, but only after this exchange with her mother does Jane finally see the truth — that she loves him. How annoying for her. That feeling is quickly overtaken by lust though and the pair finally consummate their marriage.
In the afterglow, Jane reveals that she has invited the Ethians to her Coronation Banquet, hoping the move infuriates Princess Mary and she attacks her again in front of everyone, thus committing treason. It’s a bold and risky plan. They then discuss Guildford’s father’s ambition, yet he says never wanted to be King, he just wants a cure. Jane knows there isn’t one, but we think she can help him control his condition, which will be just as good in many ways, despite what he thinks. It's kind of like that Rolling Stones song.. “You can’t always get what you want”.
'You will be the first Ethian King...'
At his coastal retreat, King Edward is visited by yet another Ethian, calling himself Fitz, who tells him he’s in danger and to beware of his grandmother. Meanwhile back in London, Petunia is hurriedly packing Bess off to join her brother with "granny". We assumed Petunia was a force of good, but can we actually trust her? And who is this Fitz chap?
However, Bess’ escape is intercepted by Seymour. Eeep.
Yet the twists keep coming when Margaret Beaufort reveals she's an Ethian and that Edward is as well! “You will be the first Ethian King!” she says. Will he have the strength and guile to rid society of wanton prejudice, or will he continue to allow the marginalization of a minority for political ends? Who can say.
As they prepare to attend her Coronation Ball that night, Guildford opens his heart to Jane, telling her he loves her and she’s given him hope for the first time in his life. In Hollywood, that would mean something bad is about to happen, so we have our fingers well and truly crossed for Guildford.
Jane then launches into a keynote speech, which outlines her plan to end Division Laws and see Ethians and Verities living side by side. To illustrate the point, she’s invited a crew of them along to the ball and asks Princess Mary to lead a toast in their honor. Mary's response is to issue a horrid threat, which reveals her true nature to the court. Jane thinks she’s won a victory, yet Mary will be back and any Queen worth her salt would execute her rival without delay. She’s far too dangerous to be left alive, but Jane delays and with Seymour’s help, Mary flees court the next morning.
The occasion also give Guildford a chance to mingle with his Ethian brethren, who he’s surprised to learn, aren’t as ashamed of their powers as he is. When Jane reveals the truth about the lack of a cure to him, they have a bitter row, which has been in the post since he gave that massive mushy speech an hour-or-so ago. However, in his huff, Guildford is approached by an Ethian who claims he knows of a cure. We think he might be yanking the nobleman’s chain.
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