Family relationships can be complicated. Even if you love your siblings, parents, or other members, you might also experience feelings far less endearing for one reason or another.
For this redditor, family relationships became complex after her younger brother found himself a girlfriend. That’s when the family dynamics changed, as, coming from a wealthier family, the GF opened certain doors for her partner, which his family members weren’t too happy about. Scroll down to find the full story below.
Family relationships can be complicated
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This woman found herself torn between standing up for her brother and not burning bridges with the rest of the family
Image credits: Wavebreakmedia / envato (not the actual photo)
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Most jealousy-related incidents in families involve a sibling
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Not all family members tend to be equally happy about one of their kin having something they don’t – it can be difficult to feel this way for someone else if you don’t feel happy yourself. It’s also difficult to be happy for others when jealousy stands in the way.
Research on jealousy in the family found that just over half of the study’s participants (52% to be exact) experienced a jealousy incident in the family, with the majority of cases involving one family member in particular – you guessed it, the sibling. Roughly 50% of the jealousy incidents involved the respondent’s sibling, and roughly a fifth were related to their mother.
However, the research also found that the jealousy incidents reported by the participants caused minimal threat to the relationship with the family members involved. This is reportedly not surprising given “the bond, longevity, and loyalty integral to most familial relationships,” the study suggests. The respondents reported that the incidents caused rather intense emotional responses, such as feelings of hurt, anger, and shock.
According to the research, the strong ties prevalent among family members tend to result in forgiveness or acceptance of the infraction. But what if the ties aren’t so strong? It’s arguably safe to assume that, in some cases, the relationship might not be strong enough to recover from jealousy-related incidents.
Parental jealousy can lead to a child experiencing negative emotions, such as guilt, shame, and having a low self-esteem
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While siblings are often the reason people find themselves in unfortunate jealousy-driven situations, parents can cause and feel such negative emotions, too. In a piece for Psychology Today, an expert on relationships, communication, and personal growth, Dr. Barton Goldsmith, noted that parental jealousy can significantly influence a child’s well-being and success and lead to them experiencing feelings of guilt and shame, as well as lower self-esteem.
For those who struggle with parents jealous of their success, Dr. Barton Goldsmith suggests taking five proactive steps that might help make the situation better: setting boundaries, communicating clearly, seeking support, practicing self-care, and taking time to celebrate your achievements.
A survey of parents of children aged 5 to 18 found that many of them might have reasons to be jealous of their kids: 67% of them believe that their offspring had a childhood much better than theirs, 65% believe that their children have more opportunities in life, 57% point out that they have more access to technology, and 56% think their children receive more affection than they themselves did as kids. But despite feeling this way, far from every parent actually envies their children or resents them for having certain things they didn’t have growing up.
It’s unclear if the OP’s parents felt resentment towards their son because he didn’t have to do certain things as a child that they might have had to – in her post, the woman noted that they felt negative emotions towards him because he had all sorts of opportunities that “he didn’t work for.” But no matter the reason for their resentment, the family’s views made the OP uncomfortable, as she was torn between standing up for her brother and not wanting to burn bridges between her siblings and parents over it. Fellow netizens in the comments, though, seemed to have clearly taken one side over the other.
The sister answered some of the netizens’ questions, providing more details on the situation
People in the comments couldn’t believe the family’s stance regarding their son and brother
