Over the course of their 25-year friendship, Emma Smuts-Muller and Laura Donohoe have been there for each other through thick and thin.
But now the pair share an even more special bond, after caring Laura stepped in to be a surrogate mother for her best friend - after being bridesmaid for her just months earlier.
Emma saw her hopes of conceiving dashed after she was diagnosed with breast cancer in September 2019 and had to undergo treatment which affected her fertility.
But thanks to Laura, Emma is now the proud mum of miracle baby Ella and is looking forward to a bright future.
“Laura and I have always had an amazing connection with each other since we met at school,” says 39-year-old Emma, who lives near Birmingham and works as a chief of staff for West Midlands Police.
“My husband Thomas and I had realised just how ready we were to have a baby, but after having breast cancer that decision was taken away from us. I will never be able to repay Laura for what she’s done for my family and it’s brought us even closer together.”
In May 2019, Emma married Thomas, 43, with Laura, 39, by their side as a bridesmaid.
Soon after returning from their honeymoon in Lake Como, Emma was delighted to discover that she was pregnant, but tragically miscarried just eight weeks later.
The couple were dealt another blow when Emma’s father Terry was diagnosed with leukaemia, then, that September Emma found a mass in her right breast.
Scans quickly confirmed the diagnosis of breast cancer.
“I’d had some soreness that I’d initially put down to being pregnant, but when I noticed the changes in my breast I had an instant gut feeling that it was something bad,” Emma recalls.
“Thomas and I had been on a massive high after the wedding, and to get pregnant so quickly it felt like everything was going to plan, but to be dealt so many devastating problems one after the other was really difficult for our family.
“I just felt myself go into fight mode. I tried to not think too far into the future because it would have been too overwhelming. I knew I had no option but to get on with life.”
Emma underwent eight cycles of chemotherapy which started in November 2019. The following April, Emma had a mastectomy which removed her right breast as well as the 5cm cancerous tumour, then she went on to have two weeks of radiotherapy.
Desperate to become a parent, Emma had been told by doctors that the chemotherapy could affect her fertility so she’d been offered IVF before starting her cancer treatment.
However, despite successfully freezing 19 embryos it became clear that it wouldn’t be an option for Emma to carry one of them herself.
Emma says: “Because my breast cancer was linked to hormones, I had ovarian supression treatment. I was also told I need to take tamoxifen - which I am on for 10 years - to stop the cancer returning. Due to the previous treatment, and the fact tamoxifen stops your ovaries working, I began to go into the menopause.
“Doctors also don’t allow you to get pregnant on tamoxifen, and due to my age, I would have potentially been too old to carry my own child once I stopped taking the medication.”
Emma and Thomas began to explore the possibility of using a surrogate to conceive, then one night Laura, who has two daughters aged seven and 11 with her husband Rob, came over to their house and told them she would be willing to carry their child.
“She just dropped it out there that she would consider being our surrogate, which took us both massively by surprise,” says Emma.
“However, due to the coronavirus pandemic the plans were put on hold for a few months, and despite having such a long time to mull it over she didn’t change her mind. I was so grateful to her.”
In February 2021, Laura was implanted with one of Emma and Thomas’s embryos. The trio then had a nail-biting two-week wait until Laura could do a pregnancy test.
“When she sent the picture of the positive test through, we were so shocked - but really delighted,” says Emma.
“We did this part of the fertility treatment with a private clinic but the doctors there told us there was only a 20% chance of it working due partly to my age and us using a surrogate, so I had prepared for the worst.”
On November 3, Ella was born with Emma by Laura’s side as she went through labour.
“Ella was 12 days overdue, so she did keep us waiting - however, she was definitely worth the wait,” says Emma.
“Laura was very clear with her own children that she was just helping myself and Thomas out, and they really understood that.
“I never had any worries that Laura would bond with Ella and find it difficult to give her over to us.
“We don’t know yet when we will tell Ella how she was born, but it’s such a positive experience however we describe it. Most of all, we want her to understand what a miracle she is.”
Now, Emma will have a yearly mammogram and speaks to her oncologist every six weeks to make sure the cancer hasn’t returned. Most of all, she is enjoying being a mum.
She adds: “After coming through such a difficult time, Thomas and I finally have something positive to focus on. Laura is an incredible human being for carrying Ella for us.”
Breast Cancer Now support and fund research into the condition. For more information, see breastcancernow.org
