A woman took to the internet for relationship advice about her boyfriend who chooses to go on extravagant holidays without her and their children. She told Mumsnet users that her boyfriend is planning on attending a £2,500 stag do straight after the birth of their second child.
Posting on the 'am I being unreasonable' thread, she wrote: “Currently feeling pretty down about the situation with my other half and probably suffering some form of pregnancy related depression. Had a 'surprise' pregnancy which I am still processing, mainly because prior to finding out I was expecting, I was making plans to leave my emotionally inept, unromantic, workaholic boyfriend.
“Long story short, we never go anywhere together or do anything, which has been a sore spot for a very, very long time. The current excuse for this is that we are tight for money, but as I explained to him we don't have to do anything elaborate and we definitely do have enough money for one dinner out a month, or a trip to the bloody cinema! Anyway, in the midst of everything going on and me starting to try to look forward to having another baby, he has been invited on yet another stag do, a few months after I have given birth. This is abroad and will cost at least £2k before spending money!
“I am really upset that he is prioritising this over my needs for support and our family. I've explained why I am upset and hurt (telling me we haven't got enough money to go for dinner, I have to wait to buy things my son needs, such as new shoes or developmental toys such as crayons!), and also that by having this baby I am sacrificing going to a friend's hen do and wedding, my career, my very limited free time. Most importantly though is that I am concerned about how my mental health will be following birth.
“To add more information for context, after the birth of our son he went on a couple of stag dos, football, two abroad holidays and also works away a lot. When he is at home he just wants to be at home, doesn't ever want to go out for dinner / drinks etc. To add insult to injury we aren't even engaged and he just doesn't see why I feel completely trapped and like s**t. I haven't had any ‘alone time’ since my first child, and this wouldn't bother me at all if I felt like I had a partner who loved and cared for me and that we did things together. Other than friends, I have a limited support network.”
Mumsnet users were unanimous in their opinion, advising the woman to leave her "emotionally unavailable" boyfriend. One user said: “You were planning to leave him, so you know the relationship is not worth pursuing. Being pregnant doesn't change that. It won't change his behaviour and it won't fix what was already broken. The pregnancy is another question - how do you feel about going it alone? You need to have a serious think about your future options.Whatever happens, you are best off getting away from a man who is a waste of space.”
Another user agreed saying: “He prioritised going on stag dos and trips abroad over buying shoes and crayons for his own child. He's utterly worthless. I hope you find the strength to get far away from him.”
Other users have taken a harsher response to her post. One commenter said: “I am not sure why you expect something different now when he consistently showed where his priorities are in every single way possible. You have no money to buy crayons and yet you are having another child - however 'surprised' you are - with the man who has no intention to be a part of the family with you. Why?”
“You are being very unreasonable to have a baby with a man you were about to leave. How did you think people would respond to that?” said a user.
Another added: “What a mess. He’s not bothered about you or your kids. You're basically a single mother of two at this point. Do you want the pregnancy? Is it too late or are there other options? Either way you should be planning to go it alone, this man has made it clear you are not a priority.”
READ NEXT:
- 'My young daughter's friend shamed me on how messy my house is'
- Bride-to-be furious after fiancé switches off phone while away on stag do and doesn't get in touch once
- Mum's frustration at being asked to take neighbour's daughter to school but she's never ready on time
- 'My mother-in-law brought alcohol to my alcoholic husband's family party - can I ask her not to?'
- Woman due to marry long-term partner discovers he isn't actually divorced from his ex-wife
