A Reddit user disclosed that she couldn't attend her best friend's wedding because the exorbitant gift the friend demanded was beyond her financial means.
Reddit user dang_zoey posted about her decade-long friendship with Sarah on the AITA subreddit. Sarah had mentioned her engagement and hinted that she expected a "generous" gift, likely around $1,000. I am "currently struggling financially due to unexpected medical bills and can't afford such an extravagant gift," dang_zoey added.
A Reddit User's Dilemma: Demanding Gifts And Wedding Attendance
Dang_zoey informed Sarah that she would attend the wedding but could only afford a modest gift. Sarah expressed disappointment, suggesting that a small contribution would reflect poorly on dang_zoey, especially given the expensive gifts she had seen others give.
Because of it, the friend was torn between attending the wedding and avoiding the awkwardness that could arise from her inability to meet the expensive gift expectations. She questioned whether she was wrong for potentially skipping the wedding due to her financial constraints.
"You have already been honest about the affordability. Maybe she doesn't quite understand fully of your financial situation," a Reddit user replied. "Regardless, I have never encountered something like this but friendship isn't about how much money you have."
"I would say to her since her expectations cannot be met with this relationship I don't think I will be attending. Either she will try and understand better or maybe not. Me personally I don't need friends like that," the user noted.
"NTA. Weddings are about sharing the love you have together with your family and friends, not expensive gifts," the top comment on the post reads. "Agreed. I have seen weddings where there was a "suggested" minimum gift purchase price," another user added. "WHAT! They would get big fat NOTHING from me that's so f-ckin cheeky," a third one commented.
The Rising Trend Of Expensive Weddings And Guest Contributions
An increasing number of couples, like Sarah, are prioritizing expensive gifts and attempting to profit from their guests at weddings. A bride recently demanded that her bridesmaids borrow $20,000 each to finance her lavish pre-wedding celebrations.
Likewise, a couple, Nova and Reemo Styles, reduced the financial strain of their wedding by imposing a $333 attendance fee on family and friends. The LendingTree survey of over 2,000 Americans confirms this trend.
According to the survey, of the 54 percent who attended a wedding in the past five years, 31 percent incurred debt, with 23 percent of those individuals taking on $2,500 or more.
The Price of Saying 'I Do': A Look At Wedding Spending
- Debt at the Altar: Many Americans take on debt to attend weddings. Of those who have participated in a wedding in the past five years, 31% have incurred debt, with 23% exceeding $2,500.
- Peer Pressure: Many wedding guests feel pressured to overspend by family, friends, or the couple themselves. Despite this, most of those who went into debt believe it was worth it.
- Costly Invitations: High wedding costs have led some guests to decline invitations, with 12% experiencing relationship strain. Many guests would also feel uncomfortable knowing their attendance caused financial hardship for others.
- Pre-Wedding Expenses: Pre-wedding events like bachelor parties and bridal showers contribute significantly to overall spending for those in wedding parties. This has led some to decline participation due to cost.
- A Consensus on Cost: Most Americans agree that weddings and related events are becoming too expensive, especially among older generations.
In conclusion, the Reddit user's experience with her friend Sarah highlights the growing trend of couples demanding exorbitant gifts from their guests. As the survey data shows, this practice can lead to significant financial burdens for attendees. Couples need to consider their guests' financial realities when setting expectations for gifts and other wedding-related expenses.
