An expectant mother says she's has had to have some difficult conversations with her child's father's fiancée, who believes she should have a say in the naming of the unborn child.
The 27-year-old mum-to-be claims to have become pregnant after having a threesome with the baby's father, Jasper, 25, and his fiancée, Maddy, 23. She says there was no cheating involved, and that she has never slept with just Jasper, or just Maddy.
Sadly, Jasper and Maddy lost their first child a year ago, and the pregnant woman has stated that she's tried to be mindful of their loss, making attempts to be accomodating where and when she can.
However, she claims that she has also had to lay down some ground rules, making it clear that Maddy can't treat her like she's a surrogate while emphasising that she'll be the stepmother, not the adoptive mother.
Maddy has previously pushed to be allowed in the delivery room during the birth, but she's stood firm on this, telling her that only Jasper and her mum will be present. Although she can make suggestions, Maddy also won't be permitted to make any big decisions for the child unless in the case of an emergency.
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According to the conflicted mother-to-be, all three of them are well aware that their situation is uncommon, knowing that they will just have to learn along the way.
Taking to Reddit, she explained how things got more complicated after the three of them headed out to dinner a few days back.
Jasper asked her whether she'd had any thoughts about baby names, and she handed him a list, inviting him and Maddy to make suggestions.
It was at this point that Maddy apparently offered a few thoughts of her own, but couldn't understand why these wouldn't be automatically accepted.
The poster - who goes by the username u/SaltyShock7210 - "I told them they can add some names to it and then we three could discuss them and choose one. Maddy told me she wanted to give them her dad's name as a middle name since it was special to her.
"I'll be honest, I don't like the idea because a family name (and a father's one) seems very personal. Also, I didn't like that she behaved like the decision was set since that's not our deal. Jasper didn't seem that fond of the idea either so I told her that, while we could consider it and think about it, I wasn't sure".
She continued: "Maddy got quite p***y and said that it wasn't fair that she wasn't allowed to have or say anything without passing it through the 'mom police' because this was her child too.
"She can't be in the delivery room, she won't give birth to them or have any legal rights and the least I could do is let her have the middle name".
Jasper tried to argue with Maddy, but she refused to listen, taking her things and leaving the restaurant. The poster and Jasper stayed for a little while longer, during which time he apologised before driving her back to her own home.
The poster's mother has now said that she understands Maddy's perspective, telling her daughter that she may as well let her have the middle name, as it really doesn't matter as much as the first one anyway.
Clarifying the situation, the pregnant woman explained that she has slept with Jasper and Maddy three times since finding out she was expecting but stated that this doesn't make them partners, with the couple having their own separate relationship.
One fellow Reddit user wrote: "I am sorry that the woman lost a child, but this is your child. It's all 100% yours. She will be the stepmother. She will have a special place in your child's life, but the honour of naming your child is not in that role.
"The major decisions are yours and she needs to completely understand that, or there will definitely be more problems".
Another commented: "I think people are being a little harsh on her. Imagine you decide to have a threesome or one-night stand and your fiancé gets the other girl pregnant. Yikes.
"I'm sure if you didn't plan on maintaining a relationship (until the baby obviously), neither did she, so I can understand her acting a little out of pocket. The girl needs some support/therapy to work through the situation. Or maybe she doesn't, but I know I sure as hell would".
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