Bowel cancer mum Carrie Brown lay in her hospital bed in shock as the surgeon about to operate on her asked her a chilling question.
She was already reeling from news that what she had thought was chronic stomach ache had led to her needing her whole bowel removed.
But now it seemed she was staring a much worse fate in the face.
“Before I went for the operation, the doctor said, ‘Do you want to invite your family in?’,” says Carrie. “I thought, ‘That’s strange’.
“I asked ‘Could I die’? And he said, ‘There is a risk of end of life’. It was like a sword to my heart. I thought I was never going to see my two boys get married or see them have kids of their own.”
So her shattered husband Mike, 35, came in to see to say goodbye along with her sister and parents – but not sons Maxwell, three, and Jaxon, 18 months.
“I didn’t want them to see me like that. I could never have said goodbye to them,” says Carrie, 31.
“I told my family how much I loved them and asked Mike if I could be buried with a picture of the boys. I told him he was an amazing dad and husband and I’d want him to meet someone else and the boys to have a mum. I just wanted them to have a good life.”
Carrie survived - but only by the skin of her teeth. Doctors told her that her heart stopped during surgery to remove the bowel and fit an irreversible stoma – an opening in the tummy that connects to a bag to take away faeces.
And yet still the brave mum’s ordeal earlier this year was still not over – because at the time she had no idea her horrible stomach pains could be cancer.
She’d gone into the op with doctors suspecting what she had was Chrone’s disease, a condition where parts of the digestive system become inflamed.
Yet only 10 days after surgery, tests confirmed she’d had Stage 3 bowel cancer – with further surgery needed to determine it had not spread.
Carrie – already traumatised by having a permanent stoma – was stunned. “I just thought, ‘Why me? I have already had to deal with this stoma and now I have cancer too’,” she says.
But she reveals she was inspired to fight on by the courage and campaigning of Dame Deborah James, then in the news through her fight to raise awareness of bowel cancer and its early symptoms.
Around 2,600 people under the age of 50 are diagnosed each year with the disease, with survival chances the highest the sooner it’s diagnosed.
Carrie says: “Dame Deborah was a role model – such an inspiration for the bowel cancer community.
“Her cancer was stage four, while mine was stage three. I knew that people could die from it, but I was determined I wasn’t going to.”
Thankfully, Carrie got the all-clear just two months before Dame Deborah died in June. “Her positivity showed me you can live and make memories and make the best of a bad situation. Dame Debs was the epitome of all that. It would mean everything to me if I could be a role model or inspiration to someone else like she was.” She has taken to social media to spread the word about vital early checks – and people have messaged her to say they have had them done.
“It’s an amazing feeling that people are listening and I am hopefully saving people’s lives,” she says.
Carrie had suffered bowel problems for years. The pains became unbearable after she had Jaxon in April 2021, and she vomited every time she went to the loo.
Although tests didn’t reveal anything untoward, by this March she had lost four stone and was down to 8st 13lb. Carrie says: “It got to the point where I was in such agony I was writhing around on the bed. I couldn’t even stand up, so Mike took me to A&E.”
After a CT scan, a biopsy and putting a camera into Carrie’s bowel, doctors suspecting lifelong illness Crohn’s admitted her for a week.
She was discharged, but admitted again in terrible pain within 12 hours. It was then surgeons decided to remove her bowel.
Now, with the help and encouragement of her family, she’s coming to terms with living with a stoma.
Carrie, an eyelash beauty technician from Coed Eva in Wales, says: “It was heartbreaking at first. I couldn’t look at it, I couldn’t clean it, I thought I would smell of poo. Every time I even thought about it I burst into tears.” Now she looks upon it as a sign of hope. “I want people to know it is OK to have a stoma.
“I am happy to show the world. And if I go on a beach holiday I will wear a bikini. I have a massive scar but I am so proud of it because it saved my life. So I will flaunt it.
“I have always been really open with Max, especially about the stoma. He knows mummy poops in a bag. As soon as I got home from hospital he put his little Woody hat from Toy Story on his tummy so he would be like mummy with a bag. He has been amazing with it.” “And if people want to ask me about it I am more than happy to talk about it. I am proof that bowel cancer can happen to anyone.”
Now Carrie has had 10 rounds of chemo to lower the risk of cancer coming back. She needs further surgery in the New Year to remove the rest of her colon.
She is planning to celebrate the end of her treatment in 2023 with a dream family trip to Disney in Florida. Husband Mike, 35, a systems analyst, says: “I’m so proud of how Carrie has coped with everything that’s been thrown at her.”
Bowel cancer is the country’s fourth most common cancer, with one person diagnosed every 15 minutes. Although more common in the over-50s, it can affect people of all ages.
Bowel Cancer UK chief Genevieve Edwards says: “We’re very proud of Carrie for speaking so openly about her diagnosis and her treatment.
“Awareness remains low that bowel cancer can affect younger people and that’s why it’s so important to raise it.”
Signs of bowel cancer
- Bleeding from your bottom and/or blood in your poo
- A persistent and unexplained change in bowel habit
- Unexplained weight loss
- Experiencing extreme tiredness for no obvious reason
- A pain or lump in your tummy
If you have any concerns or if things just don’t feel right, see your doctor.
Visit bowelcanceruk.org.uk for more information on bowel cancer, including signs and symptoms.
