A mum whose son tragically took his own life following a cocaine 'comedown' has now set up a mental health charity to help others and support families who have lost loved ones to suicide. Nicola Smerdon's youngest son Tom, 22 died in 2019 after he sometimes took the drugs at weekends for recreational purposes, Wales Online reports.
The mum described Tom who was one of three siblings as a 'sporty, funny, caring and loving' who was the 'light' in their family. The popular 22-year-old worked as a tree surgeon and was said to be a very positive person who loved trying new things and looked forward to his future.
However, he would become deeply depressed in the days after using cocaine on a night out. Nicola now wants to raise awareness that what happened to Tom 'can happen to anyone and it is happening too often' and has aet up a charity called 4Tom as a legacy for her beloved son.
Speaking of her son's nature, she said: "He loved experiencing new things. If a new restaurant opened he had to try it with his girlfriend, and he loved going on holidays with us or with his friends. He was a fun uncle to his two nephews."
She continued: "Tom was 22, he had a long term girlfriend and a full-time job. He enjoyed travelling and going to the gym. He looked after himself and was very invested in his future.
"He would go out every few weeks with his mates and use cocaine. He would then struggle in the days following feeling really down .
"After a few days, he would be back to his usual self. It was easy to identify what was causing the problem. We sought help for Tom, but sadly in March 2019 he decided, on a come down from cocaine, that he couldn’t cope anymore."
Before he died, Nicola had been researching the effects of cocaine on the brain and found various articles that confirmed it was cause of his low moods. After losing him, she said: "I knew I wanted to do something to stop other people going through this, so we set up 4Tom."
In the weeks that followed her son's death, Nicola and family set up the charity as a legacy for Tom which aims to support people struggling with their mental health as well as families bereaved by suicide. Tom's family were also supported by the charity 2wish which helps anyone affected by sudden death in children and adults younger than 25-years-old.
Nicola said she couldn't stop thinking of families who did not qualify for support and felt 'very lucky' that she received help from the charity. She said: "We had an immediate support person and all our family members were offered counselling.
"It’s a network of support and it helped us a lot. I was really aware that if Tom had been older than 25, we wouldn’t have had that support.
"I was also lucky to have wonderful support from family and friends and I kept thinking that there could be a mum of a 26-year-old out there who lived in the same area as me who didn’t have family around her and didn’t know where to go next. I just wanted to help.
"While chatting to my other children we said: ‘We just need to do this’. Before the funeral we came up with a name for [the charity] and in the funeral we said: ‘This is what we are going to do in Tom’s name’. Apart from helping others, it was a focus for us too."
Nicola said the charity has snowballed into success since its initial launch. It offers counselling for anyone who is suffering with their mental health and having suicidal thoughts, counselling and support groups for those affected by losing someone to suicide and suicide awareness training.
The charity also offers people eight free counselling sessions as well as monthly support groups. Help and support is offered to anyone affected by suicide or suicidal thoughts at any age and their situation does not need to be drug related. However, because of her own personal experience, Nicola uses the platform to raise awareness of and help anyone struggling with a loved one's cocaine use.
She wants to help them understand more about what was going on and where they can go for help. She explained: "This week alone, we have 15 people accessing counselling and our support groups can have 10 plus people in them.
"The people accessing our services struggle to afford to pay for their own counselling, so they are on long waiting lists with the NHS. We have sessional counsellors working with us across from Monmouth to Llantrisant - the top end of the valleys.
"Whenever anyone reaches out to us, we find the right person and right location for their counselling. Sometimes they want face to face, sometimes they want online.
"We also raise awareness of the cocaine-alcohol link to poor mental health on social media and at events throughout south Wales. We have co founded the co-alc alliance aiming to prevent further deaths from cocaine-alcohol use with the Jacob Abraham foundation and Maggie Cee, a mental health campaigner."
Nicola's aim going forward is to continue providing services through 4Tom, which is completely voluntary. She said the majority of its funding so far has been sourced from kind-hearted locals in Bedlinog and surrounding areas who still put on events to raise money in Tom's memory.
You access 4Tom's services or find out how you can support the charity here.
For confidential support the Samaritans can be contacted for free around the clock 365 days a year on 116 123.
