A mum of one is being urged to leave her partner after she shared they could not agree on the type of wedding to have.
In a post on a parenting forum, she explained how she would ideally want to elope, hating the idea of a large wedding with all eyes on her.
However, her fiancé is adding more and more people to the guest list, making her uncomfortable, not only with the amount of guests but also with the costs.
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Taking to Mumsnet, she asked if she was being unreasonable in wanting to cancel her wedding but a number of folk replied urging her to call off the relationship entirely.
Keeping anonymous she explained: "It’s not until next year and we’ve paid the deposit but nothing else due until February. But I am just feeling so unhappy about it. It’s not what I ever wanted - I absolutely hate attention being on me so I just wanted to elope and have something private.
"Fiancé wanted family there so we decided to book a venue as he wouldn’t consider eloping and I just want to be married. What we’ve booked isn’t massive. It was supposed to just be cheapish with our closest family, about 25 people including us.
"He since says he wants to invite just about all of his family, and I feel like I therefore need to invite extra from my side because how can I say I didn’t invite a cousin I see yearly but he invited a great great aunt he hasn’t spoken to in years etc etc. It’s going to be around 70 people half of which i don’t really know or barely see.
"It’s also becoming more expensive than I ever planned. It’s looking to be about 4k which I know isn’t massive to some people but to me it’s ridiculous. We both like travelling and I’d rather use it for that. We have another baby coming next year (before the wedding and then we will have two under two). I’ll have maternity pay but the whole thing just seems silly to me."
She added: "I spoke to my fiancé about it but he hasn’t really said much."
The post quickly gathered over 50 comments, with a mix of opinions. Some told her to find a comprise, others agreed she should cancel and go back to the drawing board to find something they both agree on - while others interjected telling her to leave her partner.
One replied: "Don't marry him. Seriously, don't. Dump him and be alone rather than this. He cares more about him and his family than the woman he is about to commit his life to."
"If you can't even agree on a wedding that you're both happy with, this makes me concerned for the future", another worried Mumsnet user replied.
A third echoed: "He is not listening to you or what you want which is no way to start a marriage."
Commenting on the money-side of things, someone else said: "I agree that you need to speak up if the costs are getting out of hand."
"Seriously cancel. I went through with mine in the same circumstances and hated it. Not worth the money if you don't enjoy it" a fifth piped up.
And another sympathised with the complexities of it: "I think this is tricky to be honest. You're both being inflexible and not able to compromise. It isn't just 'your' wedding. It's for both of you and it's also indicative of how you both prioritise family, friends and each other. You seem miles apart on these issues and they'll only become more important once you're married and have a family of your own."
"Family pressure makes it difficult for some people to feel they can elope or have the small wedding they want. So try not to be too annoyed with your partner", one said.
And another added" "It’s his wedding too , you’ll need to find a compromise"
