A mum says her parents won’t look after her children for longer than a day at a time - and believes it's "morally poor". The anonymous woman says her parents are in “good health” and retired, but will only look after their grandchildren on "their terms".
She says her situation is “dire” - despite being able to afford childcare and nursery. Speaking on Mumsnet, she said: “AIBU (Am I Being Unreasonable) to think it’s morally poor not to provide any childcare whatsoever as a grandparent, if you are retired and in good health?
“I have young children and no childcare issues aside from the horrendous cost. My parents, like many others I know, enjoy being with them but it’s pretty much always on their terms.
“They would take them for a day but wouldn’t be consistent or reliable so couldn’t make it a regular thing. I’m not sure how I feel about this and on balance I think it’s pretty morally dire.
"Luckily I can afford childcare and nursery but I perhaps would feel more strongly if I couldn’t. However, whilst it’s easy for me to say this now, I do think I would step up and do some childcare for my children if they had children.
"I can’t imagine just letting the days roll by leisurely and not setting aside even one day a week to be a reliable help. I know in other cultures this is standard and families pull together much more. Am I being unreasonable to think there is actually a moral obligation here, to make some form of childcare contribution, however small?"
Commenters disagreed, and said her parents’ days of looking after children "are over". One said: “You decided to have children, so it’s your responsibility. They’ve done their child-rearing.”
“In future I’ll offer my children out in emergencies with childcare but won’t be offering it regularly. I just don’t want to do it and don’t feel bad about it.”
But some were able to relate to the woman, and felt their parents weren’t doing enough to help out with childcare.
One said: “My MIL tried to get us to move countries and buy a house on her street so she could help, but would only be willing to do half-a-day a week!”
