Forever tortured by her beloved son's deadly act of violence, the mum of mentally ill killer Ethan Mountain has spoken of her heartbreak for the first time.
Mountain was just 19 years old when he stabbed defenceless grandmother Joan Hoggett to death as she worked in a Sunderland shop.
The once happy sports mad boy, who suffers from paranoid schizophrenia, is now being held at one of the country's most secure hospitals after admitting manslaughter on the grounds of diminished responsibility.
Now, his devastated mum has lifted the lid on her torment to tell how she cries for Joan’s family everyday.
But as she reveals one of the heartbreaking letters Mountain has written to her from hospital, the woman, who The Chronicle has agreed not to name, has vowed she will never give up on her boy.
The devoted mum said: “I cry everyday for that family but my Ethan is never going to be the same again. It’s not just Joan’s family that’s been left in tatters, it’s mine as well. I’ll never get over this but I’ll never give up on my son.
“Joan’s family and my family have been changed for life. They have lost somebody and I have lost somebody. My son is still alive in hospital. But I don’t know if he will ever come home.
“I would do anything if I could change what’s happened but I can’t.”
And in a letter, penned from Rampton Hospital, Mountain thanked his mum for sticking by her.
He wrote: “You’ve stood by me through the hardest time of my life, you don’t know how great you are. I’m proud to have you as a mam. Nobody knew how ill I war.”
Mountain was a happy, healthy young boy until he suffered a head injury when he was hit by a car outside his South Shields home when he was five years old, his mum said.
The worried parent noticed her little boy's behaviour change following the incident, and sought help from her GP.
“He was a healthy baby and a normal toddler.” she said.
“He had a normal upbringing, but when he got run over and got this head injury I did see a change.
“He was a little bit hyper, he was just full of beans so I thought I would get him into sport.
“He started playing football, then when he started high school he started rugby, which he absolutely loved.”
At the age of 10 Mountain was diagnosed with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder).
“From the age of five to 10 I was trying to get a diagnosis for him,” said Mountain’s mum.
“Then from the age of 10 to 17 he was on medication for ADHD.
“I just thought he had ADHD. But knowing what I know now that was just the start of his mental illness.”
Despite his undiagnosed condition Mountain excelled at sport, and was a popular pupil at Harton Technology College.
“He was very outgoing and very popular,” said his mum.
“Everyone who knew my son always said he had a ‘cheeky smile’. “He had a lot of friends. He used to help the PE teacher teach the younger kids because he loved sport so much.
“He wanted to play rugby as a career, or to be a sports and fitness coach. In April 2018 he went back to his old school to do work experience as a PE coach and he loved it.
“He had everything going for him, but nobody knew how poorly he was.”
But in the summer of 2017 Mountain’s mood changed suddenly.
His mum said he came into her bedroom crying one evening and told her he did not feel himself.
“He came into my room and said ‘Mam I don’t feel very well’,” she said.
“Then he started to cry. That was totally out of the blue. He never ever cries. I thought he must have a bit of depression. ”
The next day Mountain’s mum took him to see his GP.
He was admitted to Ferndene Children and Young People’s Hospital in Prudhoe, which looks after young people with complex health, emotional or behavioural problems.
During his six weeks at the facility Mountain was diagnosed with psychosis. He was taken off his ADHD medication and prescribed Risperidone, an anti-psychotic drug used to treat conditions such as bi-polar disorder and schizophrenia.
Mountain was discharged from the hospital in August 2017, and things seemed to be looking up for the troubled teen.
“While he was in there he signed up to do a sports academy course, which he started in September 2017,” his mum said.
“When he started and he got his uniform he was buzzing. I thought ‘this is my son getting better'.
And after a while doctors decided it was time to reduce Mountain’s medication, although his mum said she did not agree with the move.
“He seemed a lot better than what he was. I was taking him to regular appointments, but on the last appointment he had they reduced his medication,” she explained.
“They said he was going to have a bit more support. I never wanted it reduced, but they said he’s an adult it’s his decision. And he said he would give it a try.
“Ethan being Ethan didn’t want to tell anyone that he was really sick, so he didn’t tell anyone, but when he came out of hospital he took it upon himself to tell family members he wasn’t very well.
“But once he started attending the sports college everything was OK, he was just like a normal teenager going to college.
“He finished his course and got a distinction. Knowing what I know now I don’t know how he did it. He was very poorly, but he was very bright and he just loved sport. Sport was his life.”
However, when Mountain’s mum began to notice her once fitness-mad son was starting to drink more than he ever had done, she asked for help from the mental health services.
“I noticed he was drinking, but at the time I was 18 and it just seemed like normal behaviour for a teenager,” she said.
“But then I started to get worried and started phoning the services.”
The worried mum asked for someone to come and see her son face-to-face as he had only had telephone appointments since his medication was reduced.
But tragically no professional saw Mountain, until it was too late.
And on the night of September 5 2018, without warning, Mountain carried out a deadly act that would rip two families apart.
Joan was stacking shelves at the One Stop shop, on Sea Road in Fulwell, when he walked in carrying a bag of weapons, just as the 62-year-old was finishing her shift.
Newcastle Crown Court heard how he pulled a mask over his face and then in a shocking attack, caught on CCTV, Mountain stabbed his victim more than 20 times.
Nothing could be done to save Joan’s life.
Mountain’s mum did not realise what had happened until the following day, when she returned home to find police searching her house.
She was told her son was in police custody, and saw a Facebook post from Northumbria Police about Joan’s death.
“When I got home it was like something from the television,” she said.
“My oldest son was sat in the street in his pajamas, and my house was being ransacked. I have never seen so many police in my life.
“I was told Ethan was in a police station and I just put two and two together from social media.
“I was hysterical.I just collapsed, screaming. I was saying; ‘My son wouldn’t do anything like that’. In my head my little boy wouldn’t do that.
“My whole world collapsed and it’s never been the same since.”
Mountain’s mum now speaks to him everyday on the phone and regularly travels to Nottinghamshire to visit him at Rampton.
“It’s so hard to see him in there,” his mum said.
“I don’t know what the future holds for my son, I don’t know if he will ever get better.”
Gary O’Hare, executive director of Nursing and Chief Operating Officer at Cumbria, Northumberland, Tyne and Wear NHS Foundation Trust, said: “We are unable to comment on an individual’s care and treatment.
“We understand that NHS England is in the process of conducting an independent investigation. We have undertaken our own internal investigation which has fed into this process.”
