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Katie Williams

Mum left 'seething' after son is only child to leave party without a goody-bag

A mum has been left rattled after her son left a birthday party without a party bag.

The anonymous parent took to social media forum Mumsnet to ask other parents if she was being unreasonable after she admitted that while her son wasn't overly bothered, she couldn't help but fume over it.

She went on to explain that her son also hadn't been given a birthday present on his special day from the other children, and pointed out that she believed the family weren't having 'any money issues' to excuse them from not offering a gift and then a good bag later one.

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Taking to Mumsnet, a popular forum online to seek support and ask if she was out of line for being so angry.

She wrote: "A kid came to half of DS’s [Dear Son] party - he couldn’t make the activity so came for the pizza at a pizza restaurant - I obviously paid for all the pizzas. This kid brought no present, just a “card” on a piece of paper he’d drawn on. He got a party bag at DS’s party. I felt like it was a little rude to come to a party with no present - but whatever, kids have enough cr** so they don’t need more - but this was a party where only five children were invited so it stuck out. I wouldn’t have noticed otherwise.

"This morning, DS went to that kid’s party, which was an activity, no food. About eight kids. At the end, there were “no party bags left” when it came to DS (he’s quite shy and not terribly pushy so would have waited until the end). DS obviously gave a present.

"AIBU [Am I being unreasonable] to find this pretty cheeky?!"

She added: "(Also - this family isn’t poor or having any money troubles. In fact, I’d call them well off. I know this for certain. Only mentioning in case people say they can’t afford a present or a party bag.) Anyway happy to be told that I’m being petty and annoying and should mentally shut up about it. I haven’t said anything to anyone and won’t but inside am thinking it’s rude. (DS isn’t especially bothered anymore but was sad at the time to be the only kid with no party bag.)"

The post caused fellow Mumsnet users to split over their opinions about the party situation with most of them saying that the party bag seemed the most concerning point, rather than the mum's son not receiving a present.

Others pointed out that "just a card" was in fact a handmade one, which is more thoughtful and sweet.

But one user commented: "Does sound a bit off. I always made up enough bags and then a couple of spares in case errant siblings turned up."

To which the original poster replied: "Same - I always have spares in case that happens or I am cr** at counting."

She also added: Agree with the other poster who calls me petty - I kind of know it and am only inwardly mildly seething - but I take extra bags as I’d hate for a kid to be left out if I was the host so I kind of expect other parents to do the same! (And DS was invited, not an extra.)", admitting she knew she was being a bit 'petty'.

Another mum replied: "Not the kid’s fault but that’s really awful. Isn’t standard party bag planning “prepare more bags than invitees, just in case? Sounds like they over invited and assumed there’d be some drop-outs."

"What probably happened was that a sibling took one or was given one by their brother/sister, not realising that there wouldn’t be enough for siblings. I’ve had to guard party bags like a hawk and be in control of giving them out at the end of my DS's parties as I’ve seen kids do this at others. Best thing to do now is not make a huge thing about it and say it would mostly be cake so let’s get some cake we like etc. He’ll have forgotten all about it soon." One reassured.

A fourth said: "I do think it's sad to leave one child without a party bag, when all the other children had one. I would have probably pulled some bits out of the other bags and improvised if I was the parents and had miscounted, rather than leave one child without anything."

But pointed out that not having a gift wouldn't be a concerning factor: "The not bringing a present to your child's party wouldn't upset me though. You shouldn't expect gifts."

Another one echoed that people shouldn't expect gifts but could understand why the original poster was upset. They said: "I'm very much in the camp of don't expect x y and z and everyone does things differently. But to be part of a party where everyone got a party bag except you is a horrid feeling."

One sympathised with the mum and said: "I'm not surprised your DS was upset and of course you're upset for him."

Meanwhile, one mum suggested that is was no accident. "Only eight kids and no party bags left??? Nope, it wasn't an accident. Call me cynical but the kid/parents don't actually like your child and were only after the gift you provided. Sorry if thats harsh but otherwise none of it makes sense."

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