A woman has shared her horror after receiving a 'pornographic' secret Santa gift from an anonymous co-worker. She said her new colleagues had suggested doing an office secret Santa, but she was shocked to receive an adult swear word colouring book.
The 50-year-old said she was not thrilled in general to receive an adult colouring book, as she never got into the craze, but when she looked through the book, she was shocked to see sexual slurs and terms associated with 'pornography' rather than swearing.
On the 'am I being unreasonable' Mumsnet thread, she wrote: "I have always avoided secret Santa arrangements where possible due in no small part to threads on here. This year we had some new members to the small team I work in, in a professional environment, who suggested we arrange one amongst ourselves and to avoid looking curmudgeonly I agreed."
She added: "I have been gifted an adult colouring book and some felt tips. I must admit I found this disappointing in itself as I never got swept up in this craze and am a little disappointed that one of my colleagues has concluded I am an adult colourer but that's by the by.
"My real issue is that it's the 'Go F*ck Yourself I'm Colouring' 50 swear words to colour your anger away, adult colouring book. Which should be fine, I like a robust swear and I have a job that can very much cause stress but I finally looked at it properly today and a lot of the words to colour are not swear words per se but really, really unpleasant misogynistic, sexual slurs and terms that I associate with pornography not swearing.
"I have actually found myself quite offended that someone thought this was an appropriate gift for a fifty-year-old female colleague in a professional environment. My quandary is whether I should say something to the group or just hide it in the recycling and forget about it? I think I have attached an image so you can see the kind of thing I'm referencing."
Many Mumsnet users were also horrified by the gift. One mum said: "Wow. I'd go along the lines of, when the team are all present, say, I don't know who was responsible for my secret Santa, so I'm going to think positive and assume you didn't bother to look at it properly when you bought it. It's going in the bin." Another added: "That’s actually disgusting. There is a huge difference in colouring in a “f*ck off” and a “c*m dumpster”. I’d hang onto it in case this actually turns into something else."
One mum wrote: "That’s genuinely horrible. I’m going to go against the grain here and say if it was me I would be pushing to find out who it was, as I would feel this was a form of disguised sexual harassment and completely unacceptable. It’s not funny and it’s a way of hiding what would be otherwise unacceptable under the veneer of a joke. At the very least, it’s spiteful and inappropriate.
"I don’t see why anyone should have to put up with being humiliated and upset at work - bullies have always hidden nastiness under the veneer of 'jokes'. If I’d received this I’d be making a formal complaint, kicking up an enormous fuss, and having the work secret Santa banned overall as a result. But then I’m just a humourless feminist who thinks that women should no longer have to put up with nasty 'jokes' at work in order to maintain some kind of social politeness, or to coddle the feelings of spiteful or silly people. No thanks."
However, many users just said to "bin it" and "move on." One woman said: "I think it’s massively inappropriate but I would just bin it. I don’t suppose the giver looked closely at it." Another added: "Just bin it. Don't be that person who makes a big deal."
Another user agreed with the majority that the person behind the gift did not realise its full content, saying: "I'm going with the majority and saying they probably just thought it was a load of swear words to colour in. Probably not very well thought through but I imagine they thought it was funny. I'm guessing they didn't give too much thought as to whether you were an adult colourer."
One user thought the 50-year-old woman was being unreasonable, saying: "YABU {[you are being unreasonable]. I saw this colouring book and thought it was funny and something I was tempted to get as a gift. I didn’t in the end but if I had I wouldn’t have gone through every single page to see if each one was appropriate.
"The giver probably skimmed through it like I did and the ones they saw were harmless. In my workplace the secret Santa gifts are jokey yet practical - so I would say this fits the bill perfectly. However my previous workplace the gifts were serious and this wouldn’t have gone down well. So it depends on what your workplace is like I guess." Another added: "They won't have known what was on every page. They think you swear a lot and have a good sense of humour so thought you'd find it funny."
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