A woman who lost her own mother very young says she decided to keep her pregnancy secret from the majority of her family - a decision they did not take well at all. Opening up about her unconventional choice, the woman explained her stepmother had become 'too pushy' about filling the mother role after their mum died, leaving her and her sister feeling very uncomfortable.
Her sister came to 'despise' their stepmother during her own two pregnancies, as she had 'tormented her with talk of how she'd need her, as her mum, she needed to be there for her baby'. The stepmother even told her becoming a mother would bond them closer together, an idea her sister just wasn't keen on at all.
Taking to Reddit, where she goes by the username u/Greedy_Cranberry_19, the conflicted mum stated that, although they'd never really been 'big fans' of their stepmother, her behaviour during the sister's pregnancies intensified their dislike.
She recalled: "She even told our sister she was being dramatic when she said she missed mum and hadn't got the patience for her trying to force her way in. She said pregnancy makes women irrational and there's no reason to miss a ghost.
"My sister has not allowed our dad's wife to be known as grandma to her kids ever since. She had considered allowing it before the pregnancy stuff but after the chance was gone and my sister would not hear arguments for it."
The new mum has previously had a positive pregnancy test result, which turned out to be a medical issue, not a pregnancy. She'd been open about the result at the time, and hadn't liked the way her stepmother had acted around her, telling her this was the time when 'a girl needed her mum the most'.
When she eventually did get pregnant, she decided to keep quiet about it, confiding only in her sister and her husband's parents. As she now lives fairly far away from her dad, it was relatively easy to stay away throughout the duration of her pregnancy.
She continued: "I also knew it would hurt their feelings but I honestly didn't have it in me to care. My dad was furious and his wife and my half-sister still send me messages about how cruel and unfair I am and how I robbed them of the excitement and tainted the whole experience.
"They both said how dad's wife becoming a grandma for the third time was important, especially given her other grandkids will never call her grandma, and I was selfish to take joy from her."
One fellow Reddit user reassured her: "Your stepmother sounds smothering. You did the best for yourself, your husband, and your child. Your pregnancy and birth were never about them. Congrats on the new bub. Sending you lots of contented baby vibes."
Another commented: "Step-parents who try to completely replace a dead parent will almost always fail to make the bonds they are trying to forcefully forge. Far better to always acknowledge the elephant that never leaves the room.
"No matter how long ago the parent was lost. 'I know that I am not X but I am here for you, how can I help you?' or 'I know I can never really replace X but I hope we can make a relationship of our own'."
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