When Sami Mannings travelled to Lithuania for bariatric surgery she thought it would be the start of a "normal life". But, more than a year later, she has opened up about the struggles she has faced since losing nine stone of weight.
Before the surgery in November 2021 Sami had hit 27st. She was initially happy, but when she returned home to the UK she realised it wasn't going to be plain sailings.
Sami told the Liverpool ECHO: "The first few months were euphoric. I thought I was finally going to have a normal life. You have to slowly build your diet back up with liquids, purees and then food.
"The hard part was at three or four months, because after losing all this weight your mind still hasn't caught up. You suddenly feel like you can eat what you want but you can't. The mental side of it was awful. People would talk to me about how I'd lost so much weight but I couldn't see it."
Sami, 34, has a binge eating disorder and - in her words - is "addicted to food". The mum-of-four's relationship with food spiralled when she moved out at 18 and had no one to tell her she was eating too much.
In the years that followed Sami met her husband Jay, 38, and they had four children Dean, 15, Christopher, 14, Lacie, 13, and James, eight. But as the years went by, the waitress's relationship with food never got better as she continued to gain weight, going from a size 12 to anywhere between a size 28 to a size 32.
Subscribe here for the latest news where you live
She continued: "It's soul-destroying because when you get the surgery you think that it's going to fix you, but then 12 months later you realise you're more broken than you were before. It's hard because you compare yourself to other people. I look at myself in the mirror and I feel like I look as disgusting as I did before.
"I don't know who I am anymore. I have these people who are praising me but I don't see it. There's thousands of people who fly to Turkey to have this surgery but there's no aftercare when you have it done privately."
Sami, from Wallasey, Wirrall, has since lived with body dysmorphia as well as learning to control her eating. Having lost such a large amount of weight and having three caesarean sections she now has a build-up of excess skin around her stomach and on her arms.
She said: "Food was my everything. I would eat when I was happy and eat when I was sad. It was my source of serotonin. When I was in a bad place I would go for a meal with friends and family.
"You can't go to rehab for a food addiction because you need food to survive. When I try and binge eat now I get something called dumping syndrome. I get the shakes and the sweats.
"Any food was a comfort food. Sometimes I would eat an entire pack of biscuits on the couch. I would have a couple, then make a cup of tea and have some more. I'd then think there's less than half a pack left so I would just finish them.
"My stomach never used to feel full. The sensation I now get when I'm full, I've never had that before. I'd go out with friends, have a starter, main and side and then a dessert. Then I'd go home and have a pack of biscuits."
Sami's husband has now started a GoFundMe for his wife to put towards surgery that will remove excess skin following her weight loss. To read more or donate, click here.
