A woman has reached out to mums for advice after her four-year-old son was smacked on the bottom by his grandad for "being naughty". Her ex's parents, who are the grandparents to her son, often look after her little boy.
They had previously highlighted they can find their grandson's behaviour "very difficult". The mum took to Mumsnet to explain that her son came to her upset after his grandad smacked his bottom and that it "really hurt".
She wrote: “DS (dear son) can have meltdowns/big tantrums, usually when he's very tired. More so when he's at his grandparents' house (ex's parents). They have communicated to me that they found his behaviour very difficult at one point, but it seems to have resolved now.
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“ExDP (ex dear partner) did live with them but moved out two weeks ago. DS (aged four) told me yesterday evening that grandad had smacked his bottom because he was being naughty and that it 'really hurt'. He got upset as he was telling me and cried. I get the impression this wasn't necessarily recent.
“DS can also play up at bedtime when he is there and he told me that grandad pushes him back on to the bed for being naughty at bedtime. I'm not sure what to do next?
"They are huge sources of childcare. ExDP is supposed to have him two nights per week but often works away so they will have him. They also help out during the week as/when needed. The relationship between us was once very strained when DS was tiny.
"I am furious that he has hit my child. Am I overreacting as it was just a smack on the bottom? DS can be very challenging there."
Other Mumsnet users have told the woman she is not overreacting and gave her some advice. One mum said: "You could discuss it with them and say that smacking even on the bottom is no longer acceptable. And tell them how you want challenging behaviour dealt with."
Another user added: "Personally I would remind them that you don't want any smacking but I wouldn't cut them off unless they refused to stop." A third said: "I don't think you are overreacting. I would not want them to have dear son unsupervised again."
Another mum added: "You aren't overreacting. If DS is generally lots more challenging for them they probably weren't a great place for him even without this. What options do you have?
"Will ex support you in finding alternative care or is he just going to use them anyway?" The woman replied: "I pay for all the childcare. So no, he wouldn't arrange alternative care."
After reading the replies the woman concluded: "Neither of them are retired, they are both around 50. Thank you for your responses. I will have to give up my job but yes I do need to protect my son.
"I 100% believe him. I have no doubt that he is being truthful."
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