A woman who was diagnosed with HIV when she used a home STI test kit feared she wouldn't live to see her son grow up. Shauna Davies got the life-changing news when she was aged 25.
Now, two years on, the 27-year-old has come to terms with her diagnosis and wants to educate others about living with the condition, which she says is no longer the 'death sentence' it was once considered to be, Wales Online reports.
Shauna, from Port Talbot, Wales, first discovered she had HIV after using a simple at-home STI testing kit. Upon hearing her diagnosis over the phone, Shauna thought she had 'weeks to live' and her first thought was that she needed to make a will.
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She said: "I went for the full MOT which included a blood test. I then had a phone call from Singleton sexual health clinic that said I tested positive for an STI but they didn't say which one. I rang back a few days later and they said I tested positive for HIV. My first reaction was: 'What do you mean?'
"I didn't know anything about HIV at the time. When she said HIV the first thing I said was: 'I'm not gay and I'm not a man.' This was obviously before I understood exactly what it was."
Shauna said she rang her mum up and told her she had Aids, as she didn't understand at the time that they were two different things. Aids (acquired immune deficiency syndrome) is a fatal condition that develops in the late stages of HIV once a person's immune system has been attacked. It often takes years to develop following HIV infection in an untreated but otherwise healthy person.
Shauna added: "It wasn't until I researched it and met with people from the Terrence Higgins Trust that I realised it is possible for a straight woman to have HIV and actually how common it is for someone to give it to you without knowing."
Shauna said she worked out along with her doctor that she contracted HIV well before her diagnosis. She said it was particularly shocking as she didn't experience any obvious symptoms of the infection.
"My overall health was good and I had no underlying health issues so I was all right," she said. "I experienced sniffles and I was a bit tired but I put that down to low iron. I went to the doctors and I did have low iron. I started feeling all right after I had iron tablets so my symptoms weren't as I would have assumed."
Following her diagnosis Shauna fell into depression and tried to kill herself. She said she had no education about HIV growing up and had only heard horror stories from the 1980s when thousands died as a result of the infection before treatment was available.
"I tried to kill myself because I didn't know what it meant and thought I would be called dirty and disgusting names," she explained. "In the 1980s once you had HIV you were bullied. I thought to myself: 'I can't have people knowing about this'. I thought I would never ever leave my house again."
She continued: "I kept it to myself for a couple of months and I didn't leave my house. My son went to live with his grandmother and I didn't care about anyone or anything in that time because I was so depressed. I am a care assistant and I remember ringing in sick and just saying I wasn't coming in. I wasn't answering the phone and I did get into trouble but then I explained the situation to my boss."
Shauna said her mindset changed when someone she knew found out about her diagnosis and threatened to tell other people in her community. She decided she had nothing to be ashamed about and went public with her HIV status.
She said: "That's when I decided: 'I'm not going to be scared anymore' and that's when I became public on Facebook. I wrote an essay saying I had HIV and I wasn't ashamed. The support I had then was absolutely amazing. The majority of people were amazing. I had kind words of support and it was the best thing I have ever done. I felt 110lbs lighter and that I didn't need to lock myself away at home anymore."
Soon after Shauna started a TikTok account to raise awareness of HIV and debunk the myths that still surround it. She currently has more than 55,000 followers and said the vast majority of the reaction has been positive with most people genuinely interested and asking questions about her diagnosis.
She said one of the main questions she gets is about her medication. Modern medication for HIV supresses the virus meaning it cannot progress and cannot be passed on to partners. It means Shauna can expect to live her full life expectancy and has been able to have a baby girl who does not have the virus. She said: "The medication I take makes me undetectable so if I go for a blood test now it will come back as negative. That's how low it suppresses the virus in my bloodstream. I can't pass it on and as long as I am taking that pill I will never ever pass it on to anyone.
"If you stop taking the pill I am on you will be come detectable again by four weeks. The pill I take you are supposed to take it at the same time every day to get the routine in your head but there is a 24-hour window and I won't become detectable again unless I stopped taking it for a month."
She said the medication is so effective at suppressing the virus that there is no legal requirement for her to tell partners if she has sex with them. However she chooses to tell them as she prefers to have an open dialogue. She said: "I am a very open person and I do like to discuss it with people. My current partner knows and he doesn't bat an eyelid. We can speak openly about it but it's not a raw topic."
Reflecting on how her life and mindset has changed over the last two years Shauna said her diagnosis has given her a "second chance" as she wouldn't have survived without it. She said: "I feel like I have been given a second chance because if I didn't find out I probably would have died. I am very grateful that I found out.
"At first I thought my life was over and that I would never meet anyone else. That they would think I was dirty, disgusting, that nobody was going to want to touch me or look at me. But once I accepted the diagnosis myself first and learned all about it I realised life goes on.
"People did accept me and people do understand. You're not going to be alone and HIV is not a death sentence. You get it and then you can get over it and move on. It made me want to live my life and get out there – I have never been so confident. Years ago I wouldn't have gone ice skating in case I fell and hurt myself. Now if I fall and hurt myself I think: 'Oh well' and I get back up. It made me realise I had to get out there and start living."
For confidential support the Samaritans can be contacted for free around the clock 365 days a year on 116 123.
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