A mum is fuming at her brother after he told her that one of her three children won't be allowed to come to his wedding because he has autism.
The woman explained that she has been given the role of bridesmaid at her brother's upcoming wedding, and her two other teenage children are also part of the bridal party alongside her. However, her youngest son has not been given a role in the wedding, and she's now been told that the boy won't even be allowed to see his uncle tie the knot.
The mum said she's "really hurt" by her brother's decision, and has hit out at him for telling her that he was excluding her son because it was "best for him" - despite never consulting the boy's parents over how best to involve him.
In a post on Mumsnet, she said: "My brother is getting married, I'm one of the bridesmaids! I have three kids [and] the older two are also part of the bridal party (both teenagers). My youngest son (also a teenager) has autism and he's not being included, and I've been told he can come after the ceremony and after food. So essentially an evening guest … right??
"I am so hurt and upset over this that one of my children is being left out of essentially a big family event! It's being done on the pretence of 'this is best for him' … without consulting with us as his parents. The groom doesn't spend any time with said son so has no idea what's best and what's not!!
"My brother can't see that he's done anything wrong!!"
What's more, the mum believes her son will actually feel more uncomfortable attending the evening event than the wedding itself, as he'll have to contend with loud music and drunk people.
She added: "If anything my son won't be comfortable in the evening more because of the loud music and potentially drunk noisy people, as expected. So [Am I being unreasonable] in being really hurt and sad over this?"
Commenters on the post were horrified at the brother's decision to exclude his nephew, with many saying she and her other two children should drop out of the ceremony.
One person said: "I would also be exceptionally hurt by this. How do you think he would cope during the ceremony and meal? My heart aches for you."
While another added: "That's awful. I would be so upset and unlikely to attend at all. Your poor son."
In a follow-up post, the mum said she had considered dropping out, but one of her daughters is excited about being in the bridal party so she doesn't want to let her down by pulling them all out of the ceremony.
She also said that initially the deal was that her son wouldn't be there while the couple exchanged vows, but it quickly spiralled to him being banned from all the speeches and the food, leaving him with just the evening reception to enjoy.
"I just don't understand," she lamented, "Maybe I am thinking of myself and how it's making me feel, but having family photos without one of my children breaks me! I get it's their wedding, I do, but if roles were reversed this wouldn't have even been a thought. I'm so so hurt by this and that's not even an exaggeration."
If you or your child requires help or guidance around autism, you can visit the National Autistic Society charity, or find further information through the NHS website.
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