A mum has been left "somewhere between upset and annoyed" after being "demoted" by her stepson's fiancée in their wedding plans.
The woman took to parenting forum Mumsnet to seek advice after being informed by her husband's soon-to-be-wife that she would not be "allowed to sit at the wedding top table".
The fiancée explained that the reason for this is that the woman is "not family", and the stepmum quickly asked others whether she was "wrong to be bothered by it".
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She wrote: "This is bothering me, though I'm not sure it should, so your opinions are welcome. My beloved stepson and I have been in each others' lives for over 20 years.
"We have a terrific relationship and I love him very much, as I know he loves me. A fortnight ago he got engaged to a girl we all like very much, mostly.
"This weekend she informed me that I won't be allowed to sit at the wedding top table as I'm not family. Then she changed it to 'there's no room' as she wants someone else there - but that scheme would create odd numbers. So whatever the reason, I'm demoted to the guest tables.
"Should this be bothering me? I'm somewhere between upset and annoyed, but also aware it's her wedding, her rules. DH (dear husband) missed the comment, and DSS (dear stepson) was too p****d to notice, I think (they were here for a celebration dinner)."
The woman clarified her relationship with her stepson's fiancée, stating: "To avoid dripfeeding, we have had two run-ins with her in the last six years; she is obsessed with the fact that DSS is 'the product of divorce' and has lectured us about how to behave when in the same room as DH's ex-wife.
"Honestly, DSS is really not fussed, I'm not the other woman, and the ex-wife has remarried twice since splitting with DH 30 years ago. We have also managed various family meetings including a two-week holiday for dear stepdaughter with ex-wife with no problems at all.
"I'm not sure if this is related to the seating issue and other than these two incidents (both when she was drunk) we get along really well with her. Should I just suck up and sit where placed? Of course I will, to avoid upsetting DSS, but am I wrong to be bothered by it?"
Before long, dozens of Mumsnet users had shared their thoughts on the situation, and there was a range of opinions.
One simply said: "It's not about you, not your wedding."
A second echoed: "Good luck going forward with this one! I sympathise with your feelings but the only way forward here is to go along with it, don't make a fuss and enjoy the evening."
A third wrote: "Just let lie and sit where you're told with a smile on your face. It feels a bit petty, but if you make a big deal of it then you'll be seen as the petty one."
However, others argued that the fiancée was acting "selfish" and "out of line".
One commented: "She’s rude, and out of line! Any wedding I’ve attended if family is on the top table that includes step parents."
A second warned: "It’s shabby and selfish of her - no thought for anyone but herself. I’d take this as a sign that the whole interaction with them as a couple going forward will be hard work."
A third agreed: "If I was marring there is no way I would sit my dad’s wife away from my Dad. She’s not my step mum (they got married after I moved out) but she’s still family."
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