A mum has been branded 'selfish and cruel' by her ex-husband after refusing to let her daughter's half-sister come over for Christmas - because her mother has cancer.
Taking to Reddit, the woman explained that she and her ex-partner divorced seven years ago and share custody of their 13-year-old daughter - while he also has another daughter, aged five, with his new wife.
With the festive season approaching, she was asked by her former partner if she could take both girls for Christmas - because his wife is suffering from cancer. However, she says that she is not responsible for his other daughter and would feel 'uncomfortable' having her over for the family celebration.
As reported by the Mirror, the parent said: "His daughter spends time with my daughter regularly. They adore each other but she doesn't come to my house and they rarely meet up there."
She added that while she is of course sympathetic to his wife's diagnosis, it does not make her responsible for his daughter's welfare. The mum continued: "His wife has been diagnosed with cancer and has started treatment recently.
"The other day he came to drop our daughter off and asked to speak to me. He talked about his wife's circumstances and how his family won't be able to have a Christmas celebration this year.
"He said it wasn't fair for his daughter and asked if I could 'include' her in my family's celebration. He pointed out how the girls will have a great time together bonding and making memories."
However, the mum felt he was asking far too much of her. She explained: "I said I was sorry but my family's traditional celebration is a sacred thing and I do not feel comfortable including anyone else. Plus it'd be awkward having her in my home.
"He said that his daughter may not be family to me but she sure is to her half-sister. He asked me to stop and 'think' about what's best for the kids here. I suggested he take his daughter to spend Christmas with her grandparents."
She tried to change the subject, but he persisted with trying to guilt-trip her into agreeing. "I tried to cut the conversation short but he stopped me and started going on about how cruel it was for me to decline to include his daughter who's already having a hard time adjusting," she said.
"I saw that he was beginning to cry so I stepped back and said I was no longer feeling comfortable having this conversation. I asked him to leave and he did but still texted me asking me to agree to let his daughter come spend Christmas, even offering that he stays away if that'll make me less uncomfortable, I said no and now he's calling me selfish and unfeeling."
Her Reddit post has since garnered over 8,000 comments, with many shocked by her ex-husband's behaviour. One person commented: "That child doesn’t know you or your extended family, only your daughter. This could be her last Christmas with her mom and he’s wanting to take that away from her. Even if it’s just the three of them in pyjamas eating cookies all day."
However, some were sympathetic to his situation and argued that he was just trying to do right by his daughter. Another wrote: "Maybe he is just trying to get her away from the ugliness that is happening to her mother so if she passes, Christmas can still be a happy memory for her. Not become about sickness and death. Children that young are shaped by the things happening in their lives and tragedies can leave mental scars."
But many more thought he was being unfair, with one person posting: "Being sent away to a place where she is not wanted will also be traumatic. The kid cannot win, but Dad needs to step up parenting and make Christmas as good as it can be, even if that means a Skype call from hospital for mom."
Another said: "It’s brutal. I highly doubt that the mom is aware of the plan. MAYBE she’s getting treatment in the hospital and didn’t want her daughter to have to see her that way on the holiday, but it’s really doing a disservice to the child. I think it’s more likely that the ex doesn’t know how to cope as the responsible adult in the relationship and is grasping at straws."
A third wrote: "So he wants to take his daughter away from any possibility of a Christmas with her mom (which may be mom’s last Christmas) and ALSO planned to stay away himself. Leaving his cancer stricken wife entirely alone. There are a few hints as to why he’s an ex."
Don't miss the latest news from around Scotland and beyond. Sign up to our daily newsletter here.
