A disheartened mum has revealed how losing nine stone after having bariatric surgery has left her feeling more 'broken' than she did before. Sami Mannings had ballooned to over 27 stone before she underwent weight loss surgery in Lithuania in November 2021 to 'fix' herself, the Liverpool Echo reports.
Despite initially being ecstatic about her new size when she returned to her family home in Wallasey, the mum-of-four who suffers from a binge eating disorder suddenly realised how difficult it was going to be to not put it all back on. The mum explained that the first few months after her surgery were 'euphoric' as she finally thought she was going to have a normal life but admitted that the 'mental side of it was awful'.
However, the 34-year-old opened up about her later 'soul destroying' realisation as she said she looks 'in the mirror and I feel like I look just as disgusting as I did before'. Having lost such a huge amount of weight after three caesarean sections, she has been left with a build-up of excess skin around her stomach and on her arms.
Sami who describes herself as 'addicted to food' said that her new figure tricked her into believing that she could eat whatever she wants. She told the ECHO: "You have to slowly build your diet back up with liquids, purees and then food.
"The hard part was at three or four months, because after losing all this weight your mind still hasn't caught up. You suddenly feel like you can eat what you want but you can't.
"The mental side of it was awful. People would talk to me about how I'd lost so much weight but I couldn't see it." Sami's unhealthy relationship with food first spiralled when she moved out at 18-years-old and had no one to tell her she was eating too much.
She later met her husband Jay, 38 and they had four kids together Dean 15, Christopher, 14, Lacie, 13 and James, eight. However, as the years went on Sami's relationship with food never improved and she went from a size 12 to anywhere between a size 28 to a size 32.
Explaining the mental impact of her surgery, she said: "It's soul destroying because when you get the surgery you think that it's going to fix you but then 12 months later you realise you're more broken than you were before. It's hard because you compare yourself to other people.
"I look at myself in the mirror and I feel like I look as disgusting as I did before. I don't know who I am anymore. I have these people who are praising me but I don't see it.
"There's thousands of people who fly to Turkey to have this surgery but there's no aftercare when you have it done privately." Sam has been living with body dysmorphia as well as learning how to control her eating habits.
She added: "Food was my everything. I would eat when I was happy and eat when I was sad. It was my source of serotonin. When I was in a bad place I would go for a meal with friends and family.
"You can't go to rehab for a food addiction because you need food to survive. When I try and binge eat now I get something called dumping syndrome. I get the shakes and the sweats.
"Any food was a comfort food. Sometimes I would eat an entire pack of biscuits on the couch. I would have a couple, then make a cup of tea and have some more. I'd then think there's less than half a pack left so I would just finish them.
"My stomach never used to feel full. The sensation I now get when I'm full, I've never had that before. I'd go out with friends, have a starter, main and side and then a dessert. Then I'd go home and have a pack of biscuits."
Sam's husband has now set up a GoFundMe account for his wife where all donations will go towards surgery to remove her excess skin following her weight loss. To read more or donate, click here.
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