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Abigail Shannon

MTG's meme-filled Spongebob Secret Lair is enough to kill the average player from the 1990s

Mind Rot card art (showing a human screaming in agony) with two meme Spongebob Squarepants Secret Lair cards laid over top.

As if the notion of an MTG Spongebob Secret Lair drop wasn't strange enough on its own merit, Magic: The Gathering has leaned hard into 'the bit' with a swathe of meme cards that almost feel too ridiculous to be legit.

If you're not familiar with Secret Lair, it's an ongoing series of limited-run mini sets consisting of reprints with wild theming and unexpected crossovers. Since Secret Lair began in 2019, we've seen everything from Hatsune Miku to Fortnite grace the cardboard of one of the best card games. So, in summation, they are almost guaranteed to generate a "wait, what?" reaction from players should you choose to use them in-game. MTG Spongebob Secret Lair cards definitely fit that bill.

Even with Secret Lair's reputation, I reckon the Spongebob Secret Lair in particular would really be enough to bring a player from the 90s to their knees. If the shock of how truly bizarre these cards' appearance is doesn't cause some part of their brain to short-circuit and implode, you could always wipe them out on the battlefield instead. That's because – especially when compared to the power level of Magic cards from 30 years ago – the contents of the MTG Spongebob Squarepants Secret Lair make legitimately formidable additions to your deck.

(Image credit: Wizards of the Coast )
(Image credit: Wizards of the Coast )
(Image credit: Wizards of the Coast )
(Image credit: Wizards of the Coast )
(Image credit: Wizards of the Coast )
(Image credit: Wizards of the Coast )
(Image credit: Wizards of the Coast )
(Image credit: Wizards of the Coast )
(Image credit: Wizards of the Coast )
(Image credit: Wizards of the Coast )
(Image credit: Wizards of the Coast )
(Image credit: Wizards of the Coast )
(Image credit: Wizards of the Coast )
(Image credit: Wizards of the Coast )
(Image credit: Wizards of the Coast )
(Image credit: Wizards of the Coast )
(Image credit: Wizards of the Coast )
(Image credit: Wizards of the Coast )

As revealed in an exclusive from Collider, the MTG Spongebob Secret Lair collection will consist of three separate sets: a classic crossover in Secret Lair x Spongebob Squarepants: Legends of Bikini Bottom, a genuinely lovely set of basic lands in Secret Lair x Spongebob Squarepants: Lands Under the Sea, and a deliciously cringe meme-inspired set called Secret Lair x Spongebob Squarepants: Internet Sensation.

From the control classic Counterspell to the painbow banger, Jodah, the Unifier, almost every card in the Spongebob Secret Lair offers just as much substance as they do style. The most simplistic, retro game design is from Patrick Star as Barktooth Warbeard, a 7-mana 6/5 with no rule text that has no idea what it's doing but is really just happy to be here (gosh, remember when we used to get vanilla creatures?). I really would've never pegged Patrick as Radkos though – does that fella have a single ruthless bone in his body? On second thought, does Patrick even have bones?

If you're on board with this beautifully bizarre journey to Bikini Bottom and would like to pick up the MTG Spongebob Squarepants Secret Lair, it'll cost you $29.99 for the regular edition and $39.99 for the foil edition of each set. Come the start of the sales event at 9 AM PT on March 24, you'll have to FIRMLY GRASP IT while you can as all sets will only be available as long as supplies last.


If you're on the hunt for savings on Magic: The Gathering, check out our round-up of the best MTG deals! For recommendations on what to play next, don't miss the best board games or best 2-player board games.

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