Just back from Trace's show which is AMAZE, we were blown away when she promised us one of her tampon pieces as well as the neon, and both of us are like, what can we do for her, because her support has been so incredible, totally unwavering, and I wondered about dedicating my new utility bag but maybe she would prefer something more luxe and while I am thinking of what – an evening clutch? – I said to Dave it has to be a damehood, because how else do you reward loyalty like that? I mean how weird is it that the week Foxy revisits his nasty party routine with this lame leaked letter, and the Lib Dems just get more and more pathetic, although the Fartmeister says he personally is a sucker for Huhne's girlf's Ms Whiplashy vibe, the one person who actually sticks up for Dave Conservativism is a proper subversive artist with an anarchic sexuality? I said to Mummy we did people like her at college and it is exactly as if it was the Blitz and Gilbert and George suddenly became Churchill's NBFs. Although I suppose it is fairly subversive of Trace to say that Ed Vaizey is a great lover of the arts, because the great joke about Hazy, although he is the sweetest, kindest person ever, is that he is always complaining that The Apprentice is getting too highbrow, Dave specially picked him since anyone who wasn't a philistine would have refused the libraries job, obvs, and now it is going so brilliantly, Vaizey says, there are only three publicly owned books left in the whole of Gloucestershire.
Of course Daddy rang to say how appalling, etc, apparently his retriever bitch spells better than "your artist friend", but Dave told him to imagine if the Vegetarian Society started recommending Sir Reggie's Finest Lincolnshire Chipolatas, it is the kind of rebranding you can't buy. And Hilto is delirious because the Flashman thing is already brilliant, and now we've got Trace and Mary Portas who is one of the most famous lesbians in the world, he says not to bother at all about Foxy, or the boring kitchen story, we are literally so hot nobody can touch us.
