A shrink would call it classic displacement activity. A desperate need to look busy, to feel important. Anything to cover up the feelings of complete and utter hopelessness. The sheer powerlessness. The insult to the massive egos of most MPs. Maybe our political class should learn the serenity prayer.
It was just a couple of days ago that the Commons spent two hours sharing their thoughts and feelings about the violence in Israel and Gaza. Since then, nothing has changed. If anything it has got much worse. Almost as if the Israeli government and Hamas have other things on their mind than watching Parliament TV on British television. Unthinkable I know, but there we are. Our politicians will just have to live with it.
Two days on, though, MPs were inclined to have another go at prime minister’s questions. Maybe if they could say the same things in another way then this time the Middle East would take note. Maybe this time they would be able to find the words to unite the country. Some hope. We feel more divided than ever. Or maybe they were just terrified that if they said nothing, it would look as if they didn’t care. As if the likelihood of another war was of little consequence.
First, though, there was a second-order distraction. The defection of the SNP’s Lisa Cameron to the Tories. Shortly before PMQs began, Conservative MPs momentarily forgot they were supposed to be acting like grownups for the day and started braying loudly when Cameron was escorted to the government benches by Theresa May.
Cameron appeared somewhat bashful, as if uncertain of her new status. Well, she might. Which part of a woman who stood for Scottish independence has now become a diehard unionist? Not that she will have to worry about her scruples for too much longer. She’s a certainty to lose her seat at the next election. And a gift to Labour. Vote SNP, Get Tory.
As expected Keir Starmer chose to use all six of his questions on the Israel-Gaza situation. Totally straight up. No jibes at Rishi Sunak. Just a show of unity. First an expression of horror at the situation and sympathy for the victims. Then a show of support for Israel along with condemnation of all those who had used the conflict as a proxy for antisemitism. Next, for balance, he devoted a question to the Palestinians. They must be given every humanitarian aid and the existence of Hamas was no excuse for Islamophobia.
This was a subtle shift from the Labour leader’s position last week. Then he had upset some of his MPs by appearing to imply that Israel was within its rights to withhold water and energy from Gaza. Almost advocating the doctrine of collective punishment. Now he was much more measured. Israel was obliged to abide by international law: water and energy could not be denied. This seemed to go down well with his own backbenchers.
Starmer ended by again calling for a two-state solution. Just as he had on Monday. A nice thought and one that had occurred to plenty of other people as well. Unfortunately just not to the two parties at the centre of the dispute. So it’s not going to happen any time soon. An end to the violence is about as much as anyone dare hope for in the immediate future. And that seems a pipe dream.
Throughout all this, Rishi Sunak merely nodded and agreed. It was almost as if Starmer were the real prime minister and was issuing instructions to his subordinate. These days Sunak is more of an absence than a presence. He was brought in as the anonymous technocrat. Someone who could be trusted to make good all the chaos previous Tories had created. Only he can’t even do that. He’s a disappointment at whatever he does. Now we’re looking for a leader. Someone who can stand tall on the world stage. And what we’ve got is a head boy who seems out of his depth. Someone who doesn’t really know exactly what he’s supposed to think.
What followed was mainly a lot of virtue-signalling from MPs keen to get their new takes – same as the old takes – on the violence into Hansard. Having nothing original to say has never stopped an MP from saying it. No one cared more than them. No one had ever spoken with such clarity before. Yeah, right. Sunak just dead batted it all noncommittally. He couldn’t commit to a ceasefire. Then neither could Israel and Hamas.
Next there was an urgent question on the blast at al-Ahli hospital in Gaza. It was hard to see why, as no one really knows anything. And everyone is happy to know nothing. Just at the moment it’s less inflammatory not to apportion blame. So for now it’s just one of those things. An everyday horror in Gaza.
The foreign secretary, James Cleverly, wouldn’t even commit to accepting President Biden’s initial conclusion that it was a faulty Palestinian Islamic Jihad rocket. Need to know basis. He’d give the government’s view only when he had the conclusive evidence he would never have.
He did, though, say he would be going to Israel again in the coming days. Why? Hasn’t the Middle East seen enough of him recently? And what does he realistically think he can achieve? It’s just delusional. Performative politics. The region is only interested in the Americans. Still, Jimmy Dimly does love his plane trips.
First prize for stupidity went to Diane Abbott, who called for an independent inquiry. Because the Israelis and Hamas were going to suspend operations until the Brits had sent some forensic investigators into Gaza. Who could get to a hitherto elusive truth. Sure thing. Please. Make this stop.
Depraved New World by John Crace (Guardian Faber, £16.99). To support the Guardian and Observer, pre-order your copy and save 18% at guardianbookshop.com. Delivery charges may apply.
