A mother has gone viral after she wrote a song about parenting double standards, and how easy it is for her husband to receive compliments for his parenting skills.
Farideh - who goes by her first name on social media - recently wrote a song titled “You Are Such a Good Dad”, in which she went through a laundry list of chores she must do in order to take care of her children. She recited her many tasks, such as doing the laundry or consoling her children when they get sad, which received little to no thank you from others. However, when her husband comes with her to take their children to the park, he’s immediately told he’s “such a good dad.”
While the song was first released in December 2022, Farideh released an entire album based on motherhood last week, titled The Motherload. “It explores all the things that mothers carry,” Farideh said about the album, in an interview with Today.
As for her debut song, the musician told the outlet that the goal with “You Are Such a Good Dad” was never to make her husband look like he “isn’t one of the good guys”. In fact, one of her Instagram reels for the song features her husband. She explained that meaning behind the song was “really about how society treats my partner, not about how my partner is engaging in the workload.”
“The most annoying part is when everybody approaches your husband and is like, ‘Oh my God, he’s just such an amazing father,’” Farideh told Today. “He’s literally pushing a stroller. He’s not doing anything amazing. He’s just being out in public with his child. And then I took the idea to write about all the things I do to zero acknowledgments and how my husband is praised just for existing in the presence of our child.”
When it comes to her goals for the song, Farideh shared she hopes that women know they can be good mothers, even if they aren’t perfect. “There’s just this endless, endless standard that we’re trying to meet and I think sometimes the more I try to be the perfect mom, the worse of a mom I become because I become more controlling,” Farideh said.
“Sometimes by lowering the standards, I’m actually a better mother.”
After posting a short clip of the song to Instagram Reels, many people went to the comments section to highlight how accurate her song was. “As a dad, I see the point as dads get props for doing the most minimal parenting, whereas moms are expected to do so much with no compliments,” one comment read.
Another commenter agreed, writing: “The bar is so low for dads – didn’t abandon your family completely? Wow what a good dad!”
However, not everyone viewed the video in a positive, light-hearted way. “It’s not a competition,” one comment read. “Stop shaming men for being present.”
“Stop complaining and just do ur job… the dad’s job is providing, protecting, going to the job that we hate, back breaking labour, dangerous life situations, and sooo much more… wanna trade? Oh wait no, y’all don’t,” another commenter wrote.
The Independent has reached out to Farideh for comment.
