A mother has paid tribute to her “fun, selfless, kind, compassionate, giving and caring” daughter after she took her own life.
Phoebe Grime from Kent was a 20-year-old second-year student at Newcastle University looking forward to a summer of surfing and putting her philosophy degree to good use in a future career.
But on June 3 last year she was found hanged in the bedroom of her student accommodation in Jesmond, Newcastle, and died two days later in the city’s Royal Victoria Infirmary. In a notebook found in her room by the police, Phoebe had expressed her love for her family and laid out her wishes for her funeral.
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Describing her daughter, Hilary Grime, said: “I am so proud of Phoebe. I feel very fortunate that I had her for the 20 years that I did. She was fun, she was selfless, kind, compassionate, giving, caring, hugely passionate about the environment, moral and she was a giver. She was sporty, clever, and beautiful.
“She was great to have around. She was bubbly, she liked to chat, she was very enthusiastic, was up for everything and wanted to try everything. She absolutely loved the university's Wildcats ice hockey team and surfing. She liked extreme sports. She was tenacious.”
Mrs Grime said she was speaking out in the hope she could prevent what happened to Phoebe happening to “another family, another student, another young person.”
And she has urged all universities across the UK to take a leaf out of Bristol University’s book, which four years ago implemented an opt-in suicide prevention scheme giving the educational institution explicit permission to contact a student’s parents if they are struggling to cope mentally or emotionally with life on campus.
Mrs Grime said: “I would always have done everything for Phoebe. I will still do everything for Phoebe. Phoebe would have wanted me to go on and try and find meaning in my life, which will be to save other young lives. I will do that in honour of her.”
She added: “My ultimate hope is that as a society we be kinder and more compassionate both to ourselves and to those around us.” This, she said, would go “some distance to protecting all of us from the devastation of suicide.”
An inquest into Phoebe’s death held in Newcastle revealed she had been attending counselling sessions and had expressed a wish to kill herself previously.
During her first year at Newcastle University she had struggled with anxiety associated with those of a young person moving away from home and had received university-based counselling and academic support.
But Newcastle Coroner’s Court heard that after the summer break of 2020 problems had again developed at a more concerning level following a specific suicide plan Phoebe had made.
She was referred by the university to partner mental health services, was prescribed anti-depressants by her GP, and her father had accessed a private psychotherapy service on her behalf. Phoebe’s academic support had also been increased by Newcastle University.
However, matters became more acute for Phoebe in April 2021, when her father was diagnosed with terminal cancer and she suffered a relationship break-up. Academic and counselling support was again offered by Newcastle University and she continued with her private sessions.
The hearing heard that during this time there was no indication from Phoebe that she intended to self harm as she had suggested the previous October, or that there was a repetition of any specific plan that could have warranted a different approach from the university or her private psychotherapist.
In bringing in a verdict of suicide, assistant coroner for Newcastle and North Tyneside, Karin Welsh, said: “In short, and having considered things very carefully, I cannot identify any point where things should have been done differently for Phoebe by anybody involved in her support.
“I have alluded to the information left by Phoebe that shows a clear intention on her part to end her life. And therefore, on balances of probabilities my conclusion must be one of suicide.”
Speaking directly to Phoebe’s mother, elder brother Hamish Grime, and other members of the family who attended the inquest, Mrs Welsh said: “To Phoebe’s family can I express my sincere condolences. I cannot begin to imagine what the family has been through given the set of circumstances. I can only hope, however, that the conclusion of our involvement brings some relief to her family.”
In a statement, Newcastle University’s academic registrar, Lucy Backhurst, offered her condolences to Phoebe’s family and friends. She said: “Phoebe was a talented and popular student who had great potential and she will be remembered fondly by all those who had the pleasure of knowing her during her time at Newcastle University.
“In the 18 months she studied with us, Phoebe received ongoing help and we had been working hard to support her through her studies. A support plan was in place to help her with her academic studies, and she had a dedicated counsellor who was helping her during a very difficult time.
"Like all schools, colleges and universities, we are acutely aware of the increasing number of young people needing mental health support. Working with key partners, we do our very best to support any student who is struggling with their mental health and offer a range of support options to meet the many different needs.
“We are of course continuously working to improve the services and support we provide and in the wake of Phoebe’s death, we have been looking again at our policies and processes.
“Once again, on behalf of us all at Newcastle University, our thoughts are with Phoebe’s family and loved ones.”
