Some people return from holiday tanned; I used to come home half-eaten. Mosquitoes either love my decidedly basic O-positive blood type, or my immune system really hates their saliva – either way, I have to tool up with more anti-mosquito supplies than anyone I know. And having tended to countless bites, welts and oozing lumps, I’ve learned a thing or two.
My first and unequivocal recommendation (especially if, like me, you’re intolerant to antihistamines) is the Beurer BR60 (£19.99), because it’s the best thing ever to happen to my summers. It may seem defeatist, since it represents a closure of the stable door after the horse has bolted, but the difference this weird little German skin heater makes to already-bitten skin is life-changing. You just hold the device (about the size of a camera remote) directly on to the bite and feel the ceramic plate heat up immediately. The temperature is disquieting at first – you think you’ll burn, but you won’t. You’ll soon crave the blessed distraction and relief, as the swelling flattens, itching slows and healing accelerates noticeably. I’ll never again holiday without it.
A low-tech bite clicker (about a fiver) is a second best option (it calms the itch but not the swell), doesn’t require batteries and is so tiny that it can be hung from your phone case or beach bag. I take both.
Prevention nonetheless remains crucial, if fallible. I have no shame in carrying Price’s citronella maxi-sized tea lights (£2.75 for four) in my bag and popping one on to the table when dining alfresco. Restaurant staff in warm climates think nothing of it. The natural smell is pleasant to humans, repellant to insects, and doesn’t taint nearby food.
Skin products are sadly still necessary. Deet-free solutions rarely work as well (AlFresco Anti Bug Bite Moisturiser, from £11.50, and Avon Skin So Soft oil, £5, are by far the best of them), while the more effective deet products are so unpleasant-smelling as to be prohibitive. I compromise by taking a manual pump bottle of Jungle Formula Max, £9.49, having learned that aerosols make that cloying throat fug particularly unbearable.
I don’t stop there – I now go full gap-year backpacker and don what looks worryingly like a friendship bracelet. Pestects (£9.99 for 12) are child-friendly braided leather thongs, pre-steeped in citronella, peppermint and eucalyptus and worn around the wrist – and even ankle – to ward off critters. Only the paranoid survive.
