Mona Graham, former Niles bank VP who survived 1944 circus disaster, dead at 87

“She knew how to live,” a former co-worker said of Mona Graham. “Whatever you did with her, whether it was backgammon, golf, a shift at the restaurant, it was going to be fun.” | Provided photo

Mona Graham was a Marine, co-founder of a popular California pizza restaurant and vice president of a bank in Niles. But before all that, she survived the 1944 circus catastrophe known as “The Day the Clowns Cried.”

Mrs. Graham, who died last month at 87, was just 12 when she escaped a circus fire in her native Hartford, Connecticut, that killed 168 children, men and women and injured nearly 700 more. Fifty-nine of the victims were under 9 years old, according to the Hartford Courant.

“It was the worst disaster in Connecticut history, and it was the biggest circus fire of all time,” state historian Walter W. Woodward said. “It is still seen as the major tragedy in the history of Hartford, and anyone who lived through that still asks, ‘Where were you that day?’ ’’

As with the 1958 fire at Our Lady of Angels school in Chicago that took the lives of 92 children and three nuns, the Hartford circus inferno scarred a generation with loss and grief and prompted stricter safety regulations.

The July 6, 1944, fire at the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus show in Hartford was blamed on a misguided attempt at waterproofing. Workers had used a slurry of gasoline and melted paraffin wax to coat the canvas of the circus tent. Some reports said a tossed cigar or cigarette started the inferno.

“The canvas roof was coated with a paraffin treatment for water resistance, and pieces of it would fall onto the people as they tried to escape, creating some horrific burns due to the melted wax,” said Michael Skidgell, author of the 2014 book “The Hartford Circus Fire” and creator of a website about the fire. “Since it was such a hot day, many of those in attendance were wearing light clothing which provided no protection from fire at all.”

Michael Skidgell’s “The Hartford Circus Fire.”

Young Mona “went there with a lady who was a friend of her mother’s and another child, and, to my recollection, [the other two ] perished,” said her goddaughter Ariane Andler. “I know she helped others get out, but basically it was a madhouse, the tents not being flame- retardant. I remember her saying the clowns, because they had so many clothes on, they just lit up.

“I just remember her saying the clowns were on fire, and people were throwing people down to try and get the flames out — the stop, drop and roll,” Andler said. “She tried to help people get to the exit. She even said [she saw people] throwing somebody over fences.”

According to a chronology at the Hartford Circus Fire Memorial, the tent was consumed within 10 minutes, the big top collapsing, “dooming those trapped inside.”

“The circus people knew the tent well, so, for them, getting out was easy,” said Stewart O’Nan, whose books include 2001’s “The Circus Fire: a True Story of an American Tragedy.” “The crowd didn’t and panicked.”

Stewart O’Nan wrote “The Circus Fire: a True Story of an American Tragedy” about the 1944 Hartford fire.

The band struck up John Paul Sousa’s “Stars and Stripes Forever” — “the circus’s disaster march,” Skidgell wrote — a signal to the circus folk that an emergency was unfolding.

No one from the circus was killed or seriously injured, according to Skidgell, who said, “No animals were killed, either.”

But many clowns “assisted with rescuing the attendees and the clowns did suffer some injuries such as minor burns,” according to Ilene Frank, chief curator of the Connecticut Historical Society.

Emmett Kelly, the renowned clown, was photographed carrying a bucket of water in what appeared to be a vain attempt to douse the flames.

According to a 1979 Reader’s Digest story, Kelly, “the clown who never spoke in public, kept screaming: ‘You can’t get back in there! Keep moving! Keep moving.’

“He would always remember the little girl who came out of the burning tent crying for her mother. He pulled her from the stampeding crowd and said, ‘Listen, honey, you go over there and wait for your mommy. She’ll come along soon.’ Kelly never learned whether or not that girl found her mother.”

News of the fire was overshadowed by the D-Day invasion, which happened a month before.

Actor Charles Nelson Reilly, who was attending the circus the day of the fire, was among the survivors but was said to avoid theaters after that so he’d never feel so trapped again.

“For years, survivors were reluctant to tell their stories since they were painful,” O’Nan said. “But every neighborhood school had casualties. Now, after 75 years and several documentaries and books, it’s more common for families to share their stories.”

Mona Graham joined the Marines after leaving her native Hartford, Connecticut.

Mrs. Graham, whose marriage ended in divorce, didn’t talk much about the disaster. But in her later years, she “started dating a fireman who was in another famous fire,” said Tammy Clarke, daughter-in-law of Mrs. Graham’s longtime partner Walter F. Clarke. “He was the love of her life.”

He had helped fight a 1966 fire in Manhattan in which 12 firefighters and a commander died — the biggest single loss of life for the New York Fire Department until the 9/11 attacks.

They met in Florida when he played at a golf course where she made the sandwiches and served beer, according to her goddaughter.

They were together for 20 years, until his death last year. They lived in Bradenton, Florida, and enjoyed watching sunsets at the beach.

Mrs. Graham died Oct. 5 in Bradenton.

Mona Graham served in the Marines in the 1950s in Camp Pendleton.

Before moving to Florida, Mrs. Graham lived in the Chicago area and on the West Coast.

In the 1950s, she joined the Marine Corps, serving at Camp Pendleton in California, her goddaughter said.

Mrs. Graham was proud of her tidy house.

“Mona would say, ‘You know, I was a Marine.’ Everything was very clean and organized,” Tammy Clarke said.

Later, she followed a brother to the Chicago area, where she lived from the early 1960s until 1980. She was a vice president of the First National Bank of Niles at Oakton Street and Waukegan Road, Andler said.

A big Chicago Bears fan, she was thrilled when she once found herself in the same audience as running back Walter Payton at the old Mill Run Playhouse in Niles.

“She ended up sitting next to him,” Andler said. “She got pretty excited about that.”

After Chicago, Mrs. Graham moved to southern California, where she and her sister Betty operated Backstop Pizza in Culver City.

Mona Graham co-founded Backstop Pizza in Culver City, California, after moving from the Chicago area, where she’d been a vice president of the First National Bank of Niles. She’s seen here at the pizzeria in 1990.

She was a “mother hen” to the young staffers, said Mark Vitali, who worked there during and after college. “That was the place to be,” he said. “That was because of Mona.

“She knew how to live,” he said. “Whatever you did with her, whether it was backgammon, golf, a shift at the restaurant, it was going to be fun.”

Mrs. Graham drove a baby blue 1975 Pontiac Grand Ville convertible with a white top and interior. “An absolute aircraft carrier — you could comfortably seat a marching band and their instruments,” Vitali said. “She had lots of matching golf outfits to go with her car and the clubs.”

Though the circus fire happened 75 years ago, the remains of two unknown victims were exhumed only last month for DNA testing in an effort to identify them, according to the Hartford Courant.

According to O’Nan: “In an echo of Boston’s Cocoanut Grove [1942 nightclub] fire leading to changes in codes dealing with flameproof indoor decor and exit door, the circus fire led to major changes in fire codes for outdoor and temporary structures. Hartford, though the fire insurance capital of the world, had none in place.”

Among the changes, inspections of circus tens became standard, according to the Manassas, Virginia, Office of the Fire Marshal: “Today, tents and other membrane structures must meet strict flame-retardant standards and be certified by an independent third-party testing agency such as Underwriters Laboratories, Inc. Inspections ensure that they will not collapse and that exits are clearly marked with signs and emergency lighting. All of this is done in an effort to prevent history from being repeated.”

The city of Hartford “hadn’t been obligated to provide police or fire protection or inspections,” Skidgell said. “All of that changed after the fire — not just in Hartford but everywhere.”

Mrs. Graham is survived by Walter Clarke’s sons Mike, Doug and Walter Jr., his three grandchildren and a great-grandson. A service is being planned, according to her goddaughter.

Mona Graham.

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