Michael Flatley may have been the Lord of the Dance but he’s more a Serf of the Cinema - with his critically panned attempt at a James-Bond style spy flick taking in just £50k in its opening weekend.
With Blackbird's hilariously cliched premise of the troubled titular secret agent retiring from service and opening a luxurious Caribbean nightclub to ‘escape the dark shadows of his past’, there has been talk the film could eventually achieve cult status.
But that remains to be seen as, according to BFI figures, this bird has so far flown only one way – and that’s straight down the toilet.
Quite how much Blackbird cost to make has never been officially revealed, but many have commented it shimmers with an 'obviously healthy' budget.
Lampooned as a vanity project, Flatley, 64, takes centre stage in this wonky thriller he also wrote, directed, produced and financed. Some of it was even shot at his mansion in Castlehyde, County Cork.
'It's not just bad - it's eye-wateringly awful'
Film critic Mark Kermode was scathing in his review of Blackbird, saying: "It's not just bad - it's eye-wateringly awful. There are scenes in this that Tommy Wiseau, who made The Room, would have said 'I'm sorry, that's actually not up to snuff - we're going to have to take that out.
"This is not cinema; this is something so staggeringly self-regarding. I've seen a lot of very bad performances, but this is in a stratosphere of his own."
The Guardian's Peter Bradshaw likened the acting to the "unsexy bits of a mid-80s porn film". The Telegraph dubbed it an "awful 007 rip-off", with its critic Ed Power calling it "unintentionally hilarious".
Declan Burkey wrote in the Irish Examiner: "For the most part, Blackbird will leave you rather more shaken than stirred."
Alan Corr of national broadcaster RTE said: "The snort-out-loud quotient is high."
Head-scratching 'best actor award'
In a seemingly head-scratching turn of events, Flatley won Best Actor at the Monaco Streaming Film Festival for his portrayal of Blackbird's former MI6 agent Victor Blackley - and his publicists claimed he was tipped for an Oscar.
This led Irish film critic Brian Lloyd to ask on TV show Ireland AM: “Was he up against a cardboard box?”.
But Riverdance star Flatley, said to be worth £200 million, hasn’t let any of the widespread criticism get him down.
He told Ryan Tubridy on RTE's The Late Late Show: "The press have always been good to me … If one or two of them don't like this movie then that's ok with me. I don't read reviews because I don't like negativity."
Blackbird currently has a meagre 14 per cent rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and a risible 3.5/10 on IMDB.
What do movie fans think of it?
IMDB user Ross 91 posted: “The film, if you want to call it that, is absolutely awful from start to finish! The story is weak, the cast are clearly there for the money without bringing an ounce of character to the screen. The effects are sub par and the lead (Flatley as ) is wholly unbelievable as a character.”
Soupster said: “ This is essentially a series of poorly executed cliches more stolen than 'based upon' old movies. The acting ranges from disinterested to awful and the experience left me surprised that I couldn't even laugh at it. Just bad.”
Flatley is best known for various Irish dance shows including Riverdance, Lord of the Dance, Feet of Flames and Celtic Tiger Live. He is understood to have retired from dancing in 2016.
Want to get the latest TV news direct to your inbox? Sign up for our daily newsletter HERE
