Men can make a powerful difference by speaking up if they notice their friends behaving in a derogatory way towards women, according to a leading researcher.
Queensland University of Technology professor Michael Flood said some men may not realise the comfort their friends have with derogatory behaviour.
His comments come after he was an invited guest at a Gippsland Women's Health conference, held in response to an escalation in domestic violence.
"Men overestimate other men's comfort with sexism and violence," Prof Flood said.
With an estimated one in four Australian women subjected to some form of partner abuse, and one woman dying every week at the hands of her current or former partner, more victims and perpetrators are using support services than ever before.
Pandemic disruptions, natural disasters and an ongoing housing crisis have exacerbated the problem, putting further strain on police, health and welfare services.
Prof Flood said more men need to play an active role in creating change, but many simply do not know how to respond when it comes to calling out their mates on derogatory or abusive behaviour towards women.
"Men can play a powerful and positive role … we can speak up when we realise that a mate is constantly checking on his girlfriend and checking on her movements or speaking about women in a derogatory way or is using violence," he said.
"Most men think violence against women and domestic violence is an issue, but it's not my issue.
"If you do nothing, then you are basically condoning that behaviour. The standard we walk past, is the standard we accept."
More men speaking out
Professor Flood said Australians have gained a greater understanding over the past two decades of various forms of domestic and family violence, whether it be coercive controlling behaviour; physical, sexual, psychological or financial abuse; or threats and harassment via technology.
He said he is encouraged by a small but growing number of male sporting, religious and corporate leaders speaking out about violence against women, but he said it is important to engage more men in the issue.
A key factor in a man's propensity to use violence is social conditioning and whether violence is normalised in his immediate social group, according to Prof Flood.
"I think also some men learn this stuff through sport, through their workplaces or through media, that we learn that it's okay to pressure someone into sex, to be the dominant one in relationships and so on," he said.
The professor said parental modelling within the family home is still a key driver in shaping adult behaviour.
"I think some men just grow up thinking violence is what you do, violence is what you end up using when you can't sort out conflicts in other ways," he said.
"They think controlling or abusing your girlfriend is acceptable or legitimate if they're not doing what you want, or if you want to maintain your marriage or your relationship.
"Some men learn that that's just how you treat a partner."
Equality in everyday lives
Systemic social inequalities between women and men in areas such as paid work and child care enable power imbalances between men and women.
"Perpetrators are made by certain conditions — if we want change, we need to change those conditions," he said.
"If we can build more gender-equal communities, we will lower rates of domestic and family violence, because one of the key drivers of domestic violence is inequalities between men and women in their everyday lives.
"Respectful relationships education in schools, that's critical.
"It should be part of every [school-aged] child's curriculum. But we also need to work in workplaces, sports and faith institutions to encourage norms of non-violence and respect."
