Within hours of being told she has incurable breast cancer, Melanie Thackeray was out at her local park with her boys – partner Dhrey and their tiny sons Elijah and Noah – determined to soak up every precious moment of family life.
The 33-year-old has made no elaborate bucket list since learning her aggressive cancer has spread to her liver, opting instead to revel in the experiences many parents take for granted – such as the simple pleasure of pushing her children on the swings.
She wants to spend as much time as possible with 22-month-old Elijah and six-month-old Noah in between chemotherapy treatments for triple-negative breast cancer.
Ms Thackeray was 25 weeks pregnant with Noah when she was diagnosed with cancer after feeling a lump in her right breast.
A fortnight later, she had started chemotherapy after being reassured by her Mater Cancer Care Centre oncologist Catherine Shannon the treatment was safe in pregnancy.
"That was the main stress for me through the pregnancy. Is he going to be OK?" Ms Thackeray said.
"They said that unfortunately, they were experienced in dealing with cancer in pregnant mothers."
Noah was born on June 15 at 36 weeks gestation, weighing 2.7kg.
"He came out and he was perfect," his proud mum said.
"He was beautiful … lovely."
Dr Shannon, who has worked at the Mater centre for the past two decades, described cancer in pregnancy as a "rare event".
She usually sees one or two new cases in expectant mothers at the Mater annually, but this year she has cared for six.
Chemotherapy, she said, was considered safe in the second and third trimesters of pregnancy because all the baby's major organs were formed by then.
But Dr Shannon was unable to perform certain tests during Ms Thackeray's pregnancy, such as scans to determine how advanced the cancer was, to protect Noah from radiation.
Scans after he was born showed the cancer had spread from her breast to a small area on her iliac bone, in her pelvis.
She was started on a different chemotherapy but by September, the cancer had spread to her liver and she was told it was incurable.
'My focus is just the kids'
After doctors advised she may only have months, rather than years, left to live, the devoted mum said she was sad her little boys may be too young to remember her.
"It's really, really hard," she said.
She's hoping to leave some video messages for her sons to watch when they are older, but that's too difficult to contemplate at this stage in her journey.
For now, she has started a third chemotherapy drug and is prioritising family time.
The family has recently enjoyed visits to the beach and she's been able to show off her boys to the residents and co-workers of the nursing home she used to work at before her cancer diagnosis.
They've also taken the boys for photos with Santa.
"My focus is just the kids … just lots of good energy and experiences as a family," Ms Thackeray said.
"It's everything. These are such formative years, these young years. I was so excited to do a good job."
Mater Cancer Care Centre clinical nurse consultant Esther White, who was with Ms Thackeray when she was told the cancer was incurable, said the young mum was still able to celebrate life with her boys.
"That is the definition of a mum covering her little ones in her wings … being courageous even in the face of great adversity," Ms White said.
"They're beautiful boys and they are happy boys. She's a present participant in their lives. For her, it's about those every day, ordinary moments."
Ms Thackeray met partner Dhrey Doblada, a disability support worker, on the dance floor of a Valley nightclub on a night out with friends in 2018.
She had never thought about being a mum until she met him.
"We were a super active couple – hiking, beaches, day trips and holidays, adventuring, just go, go, go, together all the time," she said.
"My partner's wonderful. We're a good team."
The couple, from the outer south-western Brisbane suburb of Richlands, welcomed first son Elijah in February 2021, both excited to start a family together.
Mr Doblada described their first-born as a "mummy's boy".
"It just breaks my heart that one day she won't be here," he said.
"It makes me sad. It's not an experience that anyone would want to be in. I feel very emotional."
But as they prepare for Christmas in the worst of circumstances, the couple has not forgotten it's the season for joy, hope and faith.
There's joy in their shared time together, hope that the new treatment Ms Thackeray is on will give them more time as a family, and faith they will be able to handle whatever the future holds.
