In the world of self-help and personal development, it’s not uncommon for ideas to spread like wildfire. But what happens when a viral concept might not be as original as it seems? Enter Mel Robbins and her “Let Them” theory – a phenomenon that’s taken the internet by storm and landed her a spot on Oprah‘s couch. But, is this groundbreaking idea really hers to claim?
Robbins, a motivational speaker, podcaster and author, describes her “Let Them” theory as a mindset trick that went “CRAZY VIRAL” with 15 million views and 11,000 comments. She claims it “creates more control, emotional peace, and better relationships” when you let others do what they want to do.
Mel claims that she first heard about the “Let Them” theory during her son’s prom — he was super last minute about the situation (as teenagers are) and it had started raining, he didn’t have dinner reservations and their loose plan was to go to a taco stand. Mel was understandably stressed about the whole thing, ready to explode until her daughter reached out to tell her: “If they want to get wet, let them get wet.” Mel’s daughter continued to repeat “let them” whenever her mum had an argument of what could go wrong.
“There was something about the cascade of ‘Let Them’, that it just hit me — let them,” Mel said. And from there, the ‘Let Them’ theory took off.
She first spoke about it in May 2023 per Business Insider, when Robbins released a video saying she’d just heard about this “Let Them” concept.
But here’s where things get a bit murky. Back in 2022, a writer named Cassie Phillips penned a poem called “Let Them” that sparked its own viral movement. People were sharing it, discussing it, and even getting tattoos inspired by it.
Phillips’ work was deeply personal, born out of her own struggles with abandonment and self-acceptance. As she explained in a TikTok, “When I wrote this, it was about everything going on in my life… I was at my lowest.” For many, her poem became a mantra for letting go of toxic relationships and reclaiming their worth.
Now, you might be thinking, “So what? Great minds think alike, right?” But here’s the kicker – Robbins’ book The Let Them Theory hit shelves in December 2024, with no mention of Phillips or the pre-existing movement. When asked about this omission earlier this year by The Guardian, Robbins reportedly doubled down.
“The Let Them Theory has its roots in Buddhism, Stoicism, the Serenity Prayer, the legacy of Dr Martin Luther King Jr (his son gives a quote in the book about it) and therapeutic modalities like Detachment Theory and Radical Acceptance! I believe that’s why saying ‘let them and let me’ is so powerful – it feels familiar to everyone because it is,” she told The Guardian.
Robbins has reportedly trademarked “Let Them” in multiple categories.
Is it really that original?
Is the “Let Them” concept really that groundbreaking? Who’s to say?
As one commenter pointed out, “It’s a very common phrase in Ireland. ‘Let them on’ I have heard it and used it all my life.” And let’s not forget classics like “Let Go and Let God” or even the classic “Live, Laugh, Love” – all giving off similar vibes.
So when do these common phrases become someone’s intellectual property? Is it when we slap them on a book cover and sell them for $30 a pop? It’s a tricky question, especially in the self-help space where a lot of ideas have roots in Eastern philosophy (but that’s a whole other can of worms).
Can you really trademark a phrase?
Legally speaking, you can trademark a phrase if it’s used for commercial purposes and is distinctive enough. But there’s a catch – it needs to be more than just a common saying. So while Nike can trademark “Just Do It,” you probably can’t trademark “Have a nice day”.
Look, we’re not here to villainise Mel Robbins or diminish the value people have found in her work. But it’s worth asking questions when influential figures present ideas as their own without acknowledging potential sources of inspiration.
In the end, whether you’re Team Mel or Team Cassie (or Team “Mum’s been saying this for years”), the real power of “Let Them” might not be in who said it first, but in how it impacts people’s lives. So maybe we should all just… let them?
Lead image: Cassie Phillips via TikTok / Mel Robbins via Instagram / Cass Dunn via TikTok
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