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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Jonathan Bouquet

May I have a word about… why I’ve got the weather forecast blues

A tool, not a weather term: Captain Cook’s astronomical quadrant at the Royal Society in London.
A tool, not a weather term: Captain Cook’s astronomical quadrant at the Royal Society in London. Photograph: Martin Godwin/The Guardian

When did an area or region become a quadrant? I only ask because there’s a particularly annoying weather forecaster on my local early evening news programme who will insist on using it over and over again. Last night, it was “the south-west quadrant”. The definitions of said word are: each of four quarters of a circle; or an instrument used for taking angular measurements of altitude in astronomy and navigation, typically consisting of a graduated quarter circle and a sighting mechanism. I’m the first to acknowledge that language evolves, but is there really any need to gussy up the weather forecast?

I was delighted to read recently that the Department for Transport is advertising for “a head of uncertainty”. Part of the job description goes as follows: “The focus of the team is on understanding and modelling travel demand and the uncertainty around it, developing novel and new approaches to representing uncertainty in appraisal and supporting decision making under uncertainty and using the National Transport model to test Departmental policies and to produce national road traffic forecasts.” I don’t mind admitting that I’m in two minds whether to apply.

Reader John Rose brought my attention to the following notice from University Hospitals Birmingham NHS Trust: “N joined the Trust in August 2009, initially working as an assistant at the Pharmacy Department at Queen Elizabeth Hospital Birmingham, before moving to UHB Logistics to take up the position of Materials Movement Operative.” Mr Rose wonders whether N was in fact a van driver. Seems highly likely.

Dr Lindy Williams kindly sent me the following: “I thought you might like to know of a slogan a friend saw recently on a lorry – “Expert Solutionology Practitioners”. I daresay that going forward the company will deliver growth. I assume also that there are now university degrees in solutionology, whatever that might be.” I wouldn’t at all surprised, Dr Williams.

Email jonathan.bouquet@observer.co.uk

• Jonathan Bouquet is an Observer columnist

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