Punchlines don’t come more grotesque than Matt Hancock.
The former Health Secretary will spend this autumn in Australia earning a six-figure sum, while taking his £84,000 MP’s salary plus expenses.
Around 200,000 families and friends across the land are still mourning one of the highest Covid death tolls in the world after his lies about protecting care homes and his failure to provide hospitals with the proper PPE.
ITV bosses and I’m A Celebrity chiefs might be popping champagne corks in celebration over Hancock’s capture and the explosion of media interest for their flagship reality TV show, but is this one a rare mis-step from them?
A section of the country is still in pain. How on earth could anyone believe that allowing Hancock – the man who broke his own lockdown rules – to cash in on his horrific legacy would be an appropriate addition to the grieving process?
And why would he convince himself that accepting their invitation would be anything but a spectacular misjudgment?
The trouble is, we are knee-deep in the moronification of UK politics. Of course, Hancock was going to say, “Yes, I’m A Celebrity… Get Me In There”.
The statesmen and women of the past – from Attlee and Churchill to Wilson, Blair, Brown and even Thatcher – remain in our rear-view mirror, replaced by a 21st century clown car, crammed with thugs, narcissists and more sex pests than a 1970s office Christmas party.
In 2022 alone, the Tories have given us three Prime Ministers, four Chancellors and three Home Secretaries.
Boris Johnson set the template for gaining high office without knowing your brief during his tenure. He continues to sign off, taking holidays while the Commons is still sitting.
Liz Truss followed up with her shambolic 45-day stint in The X Factor government where everyone gets a turn if you wait long enough.
Take your pick from the number of MPs under investigation – 16 at the last count – for sexual misconduct.
Resigned and reinstated Home Secretary Suella Braverman signalled her intention to take us back to The Dark Ages on Monday with her “invasion” rhetoric in the same breath as her faux concern over the firebombing of that migrant centre in Dover.
And now Hancock. A man symbolising the current breed of grasping opportunist in Westminster, focused solely on self-service, not public service. A man representative of the political squatters and charlatans you now have to crowbar out of office for misconduct.
Their predecessors at least had the decency to fall on their swords for even the appearance of misconduct.
Spare us, too, the crocodile tears from Tory high command removing the whip from Hancock, when it should have gone over the Covid death toll. In any case, they will hand it back to him eventually, just as they did with Nadine Dorries after she appeared on the show 10 years ago.
In the past, a politician overseeing such a catastrophic episode as Covid would be ashamed to show their face. Yet Hancock is a man with zero self-awareness. During the pandemic he quite literally slept on his watch – with Gina Coladangelo, the mistress he was caught kissing on camera behind his wife’s back.
Thousands died due to mismanagement by Matt Hancock. No one believes it was necessarily by design, but is there really now an appetite to see him having fun Down Under?
Do those families prevented from holding the hands of loved ones in their final moments really want to see the man whose reckless decision-making played a part in their loss now laughing in their faces? Does an hour’s worth of Hancock tucking into the nether regions of kangaroos really compensate for our collective heartbreak? No.
This is no laughing matter. Is he even a celebrity? What is he in there for? He can’t possibly have convinced himself that he is in the jungle to connect with the public. Shouldn’t he be doing that as an MP, with his constituents in West Suffolk. In Oz he’s more likely to connect with fellow cockroaches and surely there are enough of them back at Westminster.
You’d think Hancock would have someone who could nudge him and say: “Best swerve this one, eh?” Or better yet, suggest he connect with the relatives of those who died.
But he is the David Brent of politics. A man without shame. Remember when Brent told his staff they were being made redundant before sharing the good news he’d been promoted?
Well, Hancock had the brass neck this week to announce his new book, Pandemic Diaries, on his experiences as Health Secretary during the Covid crisis. That’s the kind of guy he is.
And word is he has already filmed a reality show, a new series of Channel 4’s Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins.
The position of minister of state once meant honour, decency and a commitment to doing the right thing. Now it is a ticket to celebrity. A get out of jail free card with no care for the smouldering wreckage left behind.
The gravy train has to stop if we want our politics back.
