This past week, it seemed like almost anywhere we surfed cable TV or internet news, we encountered a talking-head or print-pundit citing the identical quick-quip to summarize the central flaw in the newest controversy that Fox’s Tucker Carlson just ignited about the Jan. 6, 2021, insurrection at the Capitol.
We kept hearing it right after we saw snippets of nonviolent scenes Carlson had culled from the massive free video that House Speaker Kevin McCarthy had given him – followed by Carlson’s bizarre claim that: “These were not insurrectionists. They were sightseers.”
As if Carlson’s words would somehow erase from your mind-eye all those hours of video showing insurrectionists bashing doors, breaking windows, beating police and illegally entering the Capitol while senators and representatives fled in fear.
That’s when we kept hearing those talking-heads and print-pundits wittily telling us that it was just like that old saying: “Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?”
Well, today we are going to reveal the deep secret of how punditry happens. In this case it was indeed in-depth punditry. And I can tell you all about it, because I was the investigative pundit who unearthed the quote and linked it to our politics. As you’ll soon see, this is sort of a fun-time journalistic tale that will take you to Woody Allen, Dick Cavett and Ronald Reagan – before it gets us to Fox’s current viewer-feeding superstar.
Back in the mid-1980s and after covering Reagan’s mastery of the intersection of television and politics for The Washington Post, I was writing a book (“The Great American Video Game: Presidential Politics in the Television Age”) on how Reagan’s adviser Michael Deaver successfully used TV news to enhance Reagan’s image. Deaver believed TV journalists were different than print journalists because they were part journalist and part artist. So he set out to manipulate the artist part – by creating magnificent photo ops. And lo, TV’s network news deciders inevitably used his beautiful visuals to start each news story. And that set a positive image and tone, even when viewers might feel negatively about the story’s subsequent facts.
In this pre-Google era, I thought I recalled an old-time movie line in which Groucho Marx asked if someone was going to believe him or their own eyes. But which movie? I needed to consult an expert. On TV, I’d seen Woody Allen talk about his friendship with Groucho Marx. So I went to New York City’s Michael’s Pub, where Woody played his clarinet in a Dixieland combo on Mondays. I told him my thesis and asked if the quote was Groucho’s. Woody brightened at once: “I feel sure Groucho said it. But I can’t give you the citation of just where he said it. Try Dick Cavett. He really knows his Marx better than I.”
Cavett, then a famous late night TV host, also remembered it as Groucho’s quote. But he didn’t know which movie. He suggested Groucho’s private secretary, Steve Stoliar. Bingo! It was said by Chico, not Groucho – in the old black-and-white “Duck Soup.” I rented the cassette, got the exact quotation.
Here’s the scene: Groucho is Rufus T. Firefly, ruler of tiny Fredonia. He gave his country’s war plans to the always straight-laced woman played by Margaret Dumont – so they wouldn’t be taken from him by two spies – yup, Chico and Harpo. That night, Groucho, in a white nightshirt and stocking cap, visits her boudoir. But Chico and Harpo have disguised themselves identically to Groucho, including fake greasepaint mustaches to fool her. Groucho leaves via a door on the left, as Chico enters from the right, pretending to be Groucho.
“Your excellency,” says the befuddled grand dame, “I thought you’d left.”
“Oh no,” says Chico, “I no leave.”
“But I saw you with my own eyes,” she says.
Chico, ever unfazed, replies: “Well, who are you gonna believe, me or your own eyes?”
Eureka! I used that Marx Brothers quotation – “Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?” – in the book’s opening chapter to introduce the theme of how Reagan’s beautiful photo-ops positively dominated TV stories where the correspondent would later state facts viewers would consider negative. I titled the chapter “Marxism on the Potomac.” Interestingly (and perhaps reflective of the era) TV’s Big Three primetime anchors – ABC’s Peter Jennings, CBS’ Dan Rather and NBC’s Tom Brokaw – publicly expressed appreciation and generous praise for the book’s revelations of how successfully the Reagan/Deaver strategy succeeded in this subtle but vital manipulation of network news.
EPILOGUE: This past week, some talking heads have been misquoting the line as: “Who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes?” But “lying” was never a part of the Marx Brothers’ script. Yet, come to think of it, they may have a point that makes it valid today as a course correction. After all, Donald Trump, who made the Big Lie famous even as it made him what he is today, has taught a new generation of politicos a lesson every golfer knows: You’ve got to play it as it lies.
