RED LETTER DAY
Manchester United takeover stories aren’t what they once were. Time was when they were all about glittering, outlandish promises made by “characters”. Michael Knighton juggling footballs before a half-rapturous, half-bemused Stretford End for example, promising to spend £10m (ask your grandad what that meant in 1989 money) on doing up the ground. Admittedly Knighton’s bid failed and he slunk off to Carlisle, where he had fun sort-of claiming he had seen a UFO and falling out spectacularly with local media and fans.
Knighton got a few mentions in passing when Sir Jim Ratcliffe’s interest in the club first began being talked up last summer, the former claiming to have started the ball rolling by touting his own putative “consortium” to rid United of the Glazer family. Lo and behold, Ratcliffe is now a frontrunner in the race to succeed the reviled American debt-manufacturers at the Old Trafford helm, which will take another step forward with Friday’s “soft deadline” for bids. But unlike Knighton’s glitzy if implausible promises, Ratcliffe is centring his bid on what he’s not going to do. So low is the bar under the Glazers that the most important promise a potential owner has to make is to not do bad things, rather than do anything good.
Thus it was that Ratcliffe stressed above all on Thursday that he would not burden the club with debt if his bid succeeds, and there would be none of the leveraged buyout jiggery-pokery that so besmirched the Glazers’ takeover. “The pain will stop” rather than “let’s have more shiny things” being the essential message. On a similar note, rival bidders Qatar will doubtless be along soon to stress that they are absolutely definitely not directly connected to a reactionary government accused of multiple human rights abuses. That said, their bid is more likely to gain the support of the Shiny Things tendency among the fanbase.
Given that the Glazers’ cash-siphoning ways have not prevented United from splurging huge sums on players in the past decade without much reward, it makes a certain sense for the Ineos head honcho to start with prudent no-nonsense promises. That’s also how an ardent proponent of fracking can haul himself on to a moral high ground from which the Emir of Qatar can be seen somewhere in the valley below. Just as well Rupert Murdoch and Sky’s interest was seen off all those years ago, eh?
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“I’m not going to associate Kylian’s statement with [Neymar]’s picture in a fast-food restaurant. He has the right, on his day off, to play poker, which he is passionate about. I told him what I thought about the photo. There’s no need to mix things up” – with the stakes raised after the 1-0 Big Cup first-leg defeat to Bayern Munich, and Kylian Mbappé calling out unnamed teammates over their pre-game prep, PSG coach Christophe Galthier quickly folds at the first sign of dressing-room mutiny.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
I’d like to thank Niall Ruddy (Thursday’s letters) for providing me with the template for my first (and I hope last) missive to this newsletter. In 2002, I was on a KLM evening flight from Milan to Amsterdam. A few seats in front of me in economy class (!), I spotted Edgar Davids. I asked for an autograph, and he kindly obliged. A few minutes before takeoff, a flight attendant came by. “Sir, I need to inform you about the safety procedures, do you speak Dutch?” Visibly annoyed, he replied: “Speak Dutch? I’m Edgar Davids!” – Marcello Barisonzi.
I can confirm that ninth-tier Fisher FC, currently playing in the SCEFL Premier Division, also have a Norwegian supporters’ group. When they come to London, they plan to attend a Fisher home game in Bermondsey – Steve Carroll.
Re Mike Smith’s email concerning Chippenham Town and their Norwegian supporters’ club, can I be the 1,056th person to nosily enquire if Hiim and Herdal are a couple?” – Harry Piano (and no others).
Will the next manager of Chelsea be ChatGPT? – Krishna Moorthy.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Harry Piano.
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