Not many have escaped Cristiano Ronaldo's scorched-earth approach unsinged this week.
Erik ten Hag, Gary Neville, Ralf Rangnick, the Glazers and Wayne Rooney have all caught bullets with every passing snippet gradually released from Ronaldo's interview with Piers Morgan. Thankfully, the teasing finally came to an end on Wednesday evening as the first half of the 90-minute sit-down was released.
While there was more criticism for Manchester United's lack of progress and two of the three managers who have overseen his return to Old Trafford, the more explosive elements of the interview appear to have been held back for the airing of part two on Thursday. While we wait with bated breath for the sound of more pipe bombs exploding there is one strange, understated target of Ronaldo's ire.
Also read: Most United players feel Ronaldo should never play for club again
After praising Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, the conversation turned to the young players of today at which point Ronaldo slipped into his slippers, pulled on his dressing gown and aged about 50 years.
"All leagues in the world, the youngest now, they are not the same as my generation," the old man yelled at the cloud. "But we cannot blame them because, it's part of life, you know. The new generation and the new technologies that distract them for another thing so… But they are not the same. They listen but this is why we have two ears, as you listen from one side and they go away from another side.
“It doesn't surprise me. But in the same way it's a shame because if they have the best examples in front of your eyes, and if they don't at least copy what you did, for me, it's kind of weird, because I remember when I was 18, 19, 20, I always looked to see the best players in Van Nistelrooy, Ferdinand, Roy Keane, and Giggs - this is why I have the success that I have and longevity. Because I take care of my body, my mentality, my head, because I see these guys and I learn from them.”
His problems here couldn't be more eye-roll-inducing and wouldn't look out of place on your local area's Facebook page. Every generation seems to believe that the generation that follows them isn't as good and Ronaldo has fallen into the tired old trope.
What makes it even more surprising is that so many of United's youngsters, and in the game generally, clearly idolise the No.7. Many of them have, including Alejandro Garnacho and Under-18 starlet Manni Norkett just this past weekend, copied Ronaldo's iconic celebrations. The Argentine prodigy especially seems besotted with his legendary teammate, always by his side in warm-ups, training and celebrating goals.
"18 years and 125 days dreaming of this moment. Thanks Idol, @Cristiano," Garnacho tweeted following his first goal for the club against Real Sociedad. Another exciting prospect, Charlie McNeill, labelled him 'a joke' - the good kind - on Instagram after he scored a hat-trick for Portugal accompanied by a goat emoji.
The players in United's academy clearly admire Ronaldo and it's hard to see them ignoring him should he offer free advice. But, to contradict his own statement, moments later the Portuguese claimed that he doesn't like handing out advice.
“I’m not the kind of guy who likes to give advice as I prefer to be an example," he said. Because I'm an example. I'm there every morning and do the same stuff. I'm probably the first one to arrive and the last one to go out. I think the details speak for itself… This is why I say, I like to lead by example.”
Young players can hardly be blamed for words going in one ear and straight out of the other if nothing is being said to them anyway. Then for Ronaldo to go on about leading by example as he sits in an interview undermining his manager and all the positive work he has been doing is irony of the highest order.
The whole charade has been a naked attempt to engineer an exit as soon as possible after the traditional methods of doing so - finding a club that wants to sign you - failed so drastically in the summer. That was after Ronaldo had just scored 24 goals in a season, now he wants to find a top-level club that will take him after scoring three goals - two against FC Sheriff, one of those a penalty - and proving to be an absolute nightmare to deal with.
The majority of his barbs, including the ones aimed at young players, are flimsy and ill-conceived arguments from a man raging against the fading light of his own excellence. His latest bout of hypocrisy only highlights the rest.
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