A man who was conned out of £150,000 by a woman who he thought he was in a relationship with has spoken of his ordeal as police launch a campaign to warn others about the scams.
Tom, who is in his 30s and didn’t want to reveal his real identity, was the victim of an elaborate cryptocurrency scam that conned him out of his life savings.
Police are warning about a sharp rise in online fraud which involves people being tricked into thinking they are in a romantic relationship online when really the other person is conning them out of money.
READ MORE: Jail for charmer who conned women on dating apps out of £48,000
New figures from Avon and Somerset police have revealed that just in this area alone, around 20-30 'romance frauds' are reported to them every month, and in the 12 months up to last October, a total of £2.4 million was stolen.
It's not just older people or women who become victims of 'romance fraud'. The figures released by the police show a pretty much even gender split of 47-40 women to men, with 13 per cent of cases where the gender of the victim wasn't recorded.
The figures also show that victims in the Avon and Somerset area in the past year have included everyone from teenagers to people in their 90s.
The most common age for a victim of romance fraud in Avon and Somerset is between 40 and 60, but just as many people in their 20s and 30s are falling victim to the con as pensioners. One such victim is a man from North Somerset who police have called Tom. He has spoken out about what happened to him and how, even though he was initially suspicious, he ended up losing everything.
Tom, from Weston-super-Mare, was struggling with a break-up, went on a dating app with women from abroad and was approached by a woman called Jia, who said she was in her late-20s and lived in Hong Kong.
Jia moved their conversation from the app to direct messaging on What’sApp, and they did use FaceTime once, but it did strike Tom as odd.
“It was very weird. She only showed part of her face. I tried to talk to her, but she wouldn’t talk back,” he said. Tom had few pictures of her, although he did ask for more. He said: “Issues were flagging up to me, but everything she was doing to build up trust with me was enough to keep me there,” he added.
“I wasn’t in a good place. The break-up left me feeling flat. I was unhappy and just generally sad. It really messed me up, to the point where it clearly impaired my judgement so much, that I’ve allowed this person to manipulate me into doing something which I would have never ordinarily done,” he added.
Within days of them starting to chat online, Jia began talking about investing in cryptocurrencies like bitcoin and explained that she was making large amounts of money from it.
““She portrayed herself as a successful investor with inside knowledge,” said Tom. “She spoke about the future, moving to the UK, and how we could build this wealthy lifestyle together.”
She worked hard to convince an initially suspicious and reluctant Tom to invest.
Jia kept showing Tom screenshots of how much money she was making and sending pictures of her business and Porsche that she apparently owned. Tom politely declined when she encouraged him to invest too.
The communication between the two certainly wasn’t all about money, although Jia wanted to make it very clear that she was a successful investor with plenty of money and her own business. They would discuss their personal lives and she told Tom quite quickly after meeting online that she loved him.
How Tom lost his money
He was reluctant at first and sceptical, but Jia pestered him into investing a small amount at first, and persuaded to download an app which let him withdraw the money he’d invested in the digital cryptocurrency.
He made a profit on his first trade, and got the money, which further convinced him it was legit. Each time he would invest a few thousand pounds and get it back, but he was still cautious.
Once he decided to try withdrawing £1,000 from the app without telling Jia, but it didn’t work. Jia reassured him and sent the £1,000, reminding him again of the wealthy lifestyle they were going to build together.
As he was making money, he said he got more and more sucked in. “I felt lucky, as I seemed to have met someone with insider information. Making money every single time isn't really possible unless you have inside knowledge.”
He said Jia claimed that her aunt was a knowledgeable investor and had this information.
Then, the scam was made. Jia kept telling Tom there was a rare opportunity to make increased profits, but he would need to invest quickly. He was bullied into investing the remaining amount of his bitcoin - but suddenly his investment was wiped out.
“My balance had been cleared, there was no money remaining,” said Tom. “In the blink of eye, everything was gone. I was sick to my stomach.”
He messaged Jia, who claimed to have lost more than $1million herself, before she added: “Honey, don't put too much pressure on yourself every day. I will always be by your side. I love you.”
In a state of desperation, Tom followed Jia's advice again and used the rest of the money he could get his hands on - £3,000 - into Bitcoin and again invested it through the online platform. It again was wiped out. Jia then refused to help saying she had to 'fly to Australia to tend to her sick aunt', and with that, she was gone.
“Trust was built but in the blink of an eye, everything was gone,” he said. “I was sick to my stomach. I‘ve worked and saved hard so that I could be financially set for life. It’s like holding a winning lottery ticket in your hand and the wind taking it away. It’s ruined me,” he added.
The aftermath
Police say that many victims of this kind of con - they call it romance fraud - may never come forward to report it, seek help or get support, not only for the financial aspects, but the emotional trauma of thinking you are in a relationship with someone, albeit one online, only to find it over, you’ve been betrayed and lost money too.
Tom was lucky that he had his mum - who he went to straight away.
““I recognised I needed help straight away and went straight round to see my mum,” he said. “If I didn’t have that support, I wouldn’t be here. I was going to do something that wouldn’t leave me here anymore.
“I am not someone who is able to hide things – I can’t just put a brave face on. It’s always helped me to talk,” he added.
He also went to his work’s occupational health advisor, who encouraged him to report what had happened to him to the police and Action Fraud - and that opened up the door for more support.
“To at least know that it was being looked at was a lot more than I expected to come from this report”. Enquiries were carried out by Avon and Somerset's cyber team and he also spoke to the Cyber Helpline, the Crisis Team, Victim Support, Samaritans, and MIND.
Now, he said he has good days and bad days, but the experience has completely changed him.
“I don’t trust women,” he said. “I feel like I can be manipulated by women now to my detriment. I’ve lost all my confidence. I’ve lost who I am,” he added.
Drew Jefferies, a Cyber Protect officer, said Tom’s story was devastating.
“When Tom first came to us with the report, I was naturally devastated for him,” he said. “I was really moved by his story and how it not only affected him financially, but also in every other aspect of his life.
“He dealt with the situation exceptionally well and I admire his bravery in speaking out. A huge thank you to Tom for looking to help us create awareness and stop others from falling into the same trap,” he added.
Amy Horrobin, a fraud protect officer at Avon and Somerset police, said it can be hard to tell genuine investment opportunities from scams, and anyone can be taken in.
“In terms of investments, it can be really difficult to tell a genuine investment opportunity apart from a fraudulent one – even experienced investors have been caught out,” she said.”
“Fraudsters use various tactics to make the investment appear to be genuine such as sending some small returns, creating fraudulent websites, and hiding behind the names of genuine companies. Do your research and seek independent financial advice before committing to any investment,” she added.
Tom said he wanted to share his story to warn others. “Whenever something bad has happened in my life which I’ve learned from, I’ve always wanted to prevent others from having the same experience. I like knowing that I can stop people from being in the same position. I find comfort in being able to help others,” he said.
Red flags and tips to avoid being a victim
Avon and Somerset Police have shared their top tips about what to look out for if you are having a relationship online and money starts being involved.
- The person you are speaking to lives or works overseas
- Jobs including the military, oil rig worker, any medical professionals (surgeon/doctor), United Nations employee
- Any mention of a high value box, this could include money, gold bars and jewels. Scammers often say it is inheritance, wages or found treasure
- Moving your conversation to Google Hangouts or WhatsApp
- Asking you for any kind of money this includes gift cards (Amazon/STEAM) or Bitcoin currency
- They cannot video call you with a crystal clear image. In 2021 there is no reason someone cannot video call with a clear image and in sync audio
- Any sob stories. If the person you are speaking to claims to be a struggling single parent, widowed, hungry, homeless or stranded in a foreign country
- Declaring their love for you very early on/introduce the subject of marriage
- Claim to have had the same experiences/values as you. If you tell them you are divorced they will tell you they are as well. If you are religious, they will lie and say they share your faith
- Promise to meet you but will always have an excuse why they cannot
- Watch out for grammar and spelling. English is likely not their first language
- Always check their social media page. Was it created recently? Do they have only a few friends/followers? Do they only have a few photos? Is yes, this is indicative of a fraudster
- Do not take any excuses why they cannot video call. If they claim to work in a secure area then they need to call against a plain wall where no sensitive material can been seen. If it is truly that secure of a place they would not be allowed phones in the first place
- Do not accept anything less than a perfect picture and sound on a video call. Scammers have tricks to fool you. During the call ask them to touch their eye and then their head
- Tell a family member or a friend about your love interest. An impartial person will spot any red flags that you might miss
- No relationship should ever involve you having to send money
- Reverse image search any photos (you can learn how to do this by typing ‘reverse image search’ into Google). It could tell you where else on the internet the image is.
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