It’s safe to assume that we all have annoying traits; something that can drive others—our co-workers, for instance—or even us ourselves completely crazy. But something mildly aggravating is unlikely to do much harm in people’s lives, unlike toxic traits, for example.
Members of the ‘Ask Reddit’ community recently opened up about the latter, after one user asked them about the toxic traits they recognize in themselves. In their answers, netizens were quite honest, oftentimes detailing not only what the character trait is, but how it has affected their life, as well. If you’re wondering what toxic traits seemingly bother people the most, scroll down to find their answers on the list below.
#1
I don't communicate my needs and then get frustrated when they aren't met.
Image credits: unisetkin
#2
I tend to overthink a lot which sometimes makes me my own worst enemy.
Image credits: mnbvyjdghhs
#3
I am lazy af and procrastinate like a b***h. It's my worst flaw. It affects my health, my relationships, and is now magnified by my depression.
Image credits: MilleniumPelican
#4
I don’t set boundaries with people which leads to me becoming angry with them at a later date because they are taking advantage of my being too nice.
Image credits: rando_mike
#5
I'm very cynical and mistrusting about peoples intentions. Always thinking they have ulterior motives when they're friendly to me. Basicaly I have no good faith in humanity.
Image credits: alles-moet-kapot
#6
I dont always speak my mind for fear of being emotionally abandoned and it has NOT served anyone well.
Image credits: thoughts_are_hard
#7
I create ridiculous situations in my head and allow my anxiety to control and cripple me. I'm working on it and actually making lots of progress but it's caused me many problems.
I also get incredibly defensive if I feel like I'm being looked down on in any way.
Edit: Definitely a self esteem thing which always makes you take a good hard look in the mirror. If you experience this go to therapy/start finding ways to build yourself up. It goes a long way.
Image credits: Belmer13
#8
Inflexible. I want to do things my way. Trying to learn to overcome this but old habits die hard.
Image credits: workinghardyes
#9
I am one of those people who will jump full blast into a brand new hobby but then promptly quit when it turns out I am not immediately great at it. This has led to a lot of credit card debt, unfinished projects, and unused stuff around the house.
edit: yes this is definitely due to ADHD, I've been diagnosed twice in my life but am unfortunately not currently medicated.
Image credits: kgkglunasol
#10
Narcissism. Didn't even know the term until a few years back, and then I started to learn all about it. Now I realise I have picked up so many traits, I am trying to unlearn them and be better.
Image credits: hardyflashier
#11
I don’t talk about my feelings at all. It’s hard to know if I’m sad or mad about something.
Image credits: Avocado-Toast-93
#12
I expect people to treat me like I treat everyone.
Image credits: In3briatedPanda
#13
I let anger take over. It affects my kids, my husband, me.
Image credits: DesertSpringtime
#14
Perfectionism that leads to an unwillingness to forgive myself for my own mistakes.
Image credits: whistlepig4life
#15
I don't talk to myself in a positive way. I've gotten better at it, but as the saying goes we are our own worst critics.
Image credits: treehouseleader
#16
I don't really say anything when it upsets me to try to keep the peace. Then all of a sudden, one little thing can make me become a total b***h which hurts my relationships.
Image credits: Normal-Writing-8524
#17
I’m not good at cultivating relationships, reaching out to check on people, keeping track of what is going on with far-flung relatives. I’m not sure if it is a self-esteem issue or a self-protection issue. I vacillate between it being either one.
#18
I’m very complacent, just because I don’t like making a fuss or making people feel upset. For example, if something is $20 but I get charged $25 i’ll just pay the $25 rather than even attempt to argue bc I don’t want to be rude to anyone. I need to get better at putting my foot down and saying no, or not just capitulating immediately.
Image credits: Swiftstar2018
#19
I’m trying to work on it but I have a really hard time prioritizing myself when it comes to things like saying no to helping people or picking up extra at work when I really don’t have the mental/physical energy to do so.
#20
Self-Sabatoge. Whenever I have expectations placed on me, I immediately fail at the task regardless of whether doing the task is good for me or not. Failing becomes a habit and confidence is shot. Then any goal becomes not worth pursuing. It becomes a cycle of self-harm.
Image credits: Could_be_persuaded
#21
I can be very avoidant and self isolating at times.
Image credits: Andromeda-Ultra
#22
I think really badly of myself. Every day I tell myself how stupid, ugly, worthless, and undeserving I am. I think it throws my whole energy off and makes me attract people who agree with me instead of people who will love me and be real friends.
Image credits: ivegivenallican
#23
Overthinking when someone has hurt me, I'll actually make myself sick doing it.
#24
Oversharing. I tend to yap about things about my life that many people can't handle, and I don't realize because it doesn't phase me.
#25
This is more flawed than toxic, but I'm very level; no highs, no lows, and it means I struggle to have empathy. It all feels a bit of an act. I've gotten better over the years, but I always feel like an imposter. Often I used to jump to problem-solving, to skip over the messy part, and fix it. But over the years I learned this doesn't help. Not really. There's a time and a place for that and it's when emotions are settled and stable.
Sometimes I picture the death of my parents, or a friend, just to try and feel emotions that some people must feel daily. This might make me sound dead inside, or depressed, but it's really not the case. I wouldn't trade it, I like it. But I'm not the best person to turn to in times of need. I just keep quiet, let them vent, and support them without judgement as well as I can. Sometimes that's okay. Sometimes people may need more, but it is what it is. There's no point pretending or being disingenuous. I'd rather people see a flawed authentic version of myself than a bad actor.
#26
I don’t take criticism well. It feels like I’m being told that something is wrong with me at my core. I struggle between feeling enough as I am and needing to make changes.
#27
I have really bad ADD and have a bad habit of talking over people. its not that I am not listening but I am also looking at the cute dog down the street.
#28
I interrupt people when I already know what they are going to say instead of letting them finish their sentences. I also overshare at times when it would be better to keep more things to myself. I also have a tendency to view the world in a negative light and assume the worst out of people.
#29
People pleaser. It's called self-abandonment & leads to resentment.
So I work on saying how I really feel (nicely of course), & even if it's uncomfortable or awkward or could potentially make someone unhappy with me. It's so hard. I just want everyone to be happy.... but I deserve to be happy too.
#30
I get angry when people don't like what I like.
Image credits: woMen_littlebad
#31
I have a tendency to overthink things, sometimes to the point of paralysis. It can lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety, and it can also prevent me from taking action or making decisions.
#32
I never really have strong feelings about anything, I’m very apathetic, I’ve noticed recently that I also lie compulsively about little things sometimes.
I also have a pretty chronic inferiority complex and my baseline is to assume that everyone thinks I’m really stupid.
I also feel like I don’t love my friends as much as I should, I could quite happily never see most of them ever again.
#33
Dispensing advice like I have a degree in psychology... when really, I'm just a soap opera and coffee girl.
Image credits: lika_klaar
#34
I am very controlling and inflexible with my beliefs.
I think this is related to my own upbringing with having a disability. I've had very little control of my life and medical/health/future choices. I have been shut down and made to feel stupid and like my opinion is worthless. As my parents age and lose control of me, I'm starting to make my voice heard. I also feel like it's got a lot to do with controlling outcomes and avoiding getting myself hurt by them.
As far as being inflexible with my beliefs, that I think is also a trauma response from not being heard or taken seriously by my family. Because I was always made to feel stupid and dumb, I made sure to always do my research before I opened my mouth. Therefore if I know you're wrong, I'm gonna fight til my last breath on it. The only way I'll ever change my mind is if they have compelling evidence against my own beliefs.
I am more than happy to relinquish control or change beliefs if people prove they're worthy enough for it.
Image credits: Low-Maintenance1517
#35
I get very annoyed when people tell me basic information assuming I don't know it. If they were condescending or something then maybe i'd be safe. But no I am a massive prick when it comes to this. They are just trying to help but I always take it as "oh he doesn't know this, he's an idiot". I mostly blame my mum for this.
#36
I judge people too quickly and I'm really petty.
Image credits: ULTRAPUNK18
#37
I'm not sure what to call this but I have this thing where I cannot stand being around people I have nothing in common with whether it’s friends or family etc something in me is just so against “faking” like i can relate to someone for whoever sake on top of that I have an extremely low social battery unless im around people I grew up with.. its taking a toll on my marriage.
#38
I'm too self centered sometimes.
#39
I can be very inconsiderate. I do care when someone tells me, but so many things that others want fly past me because I am too preoccupied with myself.
Image credits: Orzagh
#40
A lot of my friendships are solely based on talking s**t about people. I could sit with a likeminded coworker or friend and bash our other coworkers/friends for hours and hours. So judgy, all the time.
#41
Unreliable. I say I will do things with every intention of doing them but don't.
#42
The reason I am not in a relationship or seeking a relationship is because I am obsessive. I would literally do anything for my partner even at the cost of my wellbeing. I become clingy and overbearing. I don't make any effort to speak to anyone other than the partner. My reason to live literally changes from wanting to be a happy, independent individual into wanting to live to make them happy. I cannot trust myself to be in a relationship ¯_(ツ)_/¯.
#43
I give people the silent treatment when I'm hurt or angry. Toxic for me and them.
Image credits: EmondaBlue
#44
I'm not the best listener. I'm a major projector. I'm constantly talking about the past.
Image credits: Natural_Collar3278
#45
Autistic trait: I don't always notice the tone of my voice when I talk to other people. It may come out as I'm rude or angry.
#46
I get really snippy when I’m really hungry, overly tired, or overwhelmed with a situation and end up lashing out at others, especially my husband. I know this is pretty common but I really wish I could keep my cool better. I feel awful every time it happens.
#47
I talk wayyyyyy too much. I don’t even enjoy it, I’m just nervous. Always nervous!
Oh and I also try to make people dislike me. I feel safer.
#48
I'm stupidly paranoid.
I've never been cheated on but I always think the person I'm with is cheating on me, despite them showing 0 signs of cheating.
I usually manage to keep it bottled up but on the rare occurrence it slips out it's embarrassing to explain my reasoning.
#49
Pride, sloth, cowardice. There, you got three for the price of one!
(edit): Self-delusion and a general lack of wisdom too. Gosh, it's like being sick - you think you're done then your stomach gives another heave...
#50
I tend to self sabotage by putting myself in questionable traumatising situations. Till this day, I can’t figure out why or maybe I do know but I am just in denial.
#51
That I have a kind heart and that I tend to care for people who couldn’t give a f**k if I died.
#52
Fear of abandonment. I literally have like 6 months annoyed at my bsf because i'm not her daily chat anymore. She met a dude at the gym, they are now in a situationship ig and they text each other at every hour and everyday as if they were actually together and it makes me feel replaced. I am not being replaced and she has done nothing wrong to me, it literally is just me that is so scared is going to be left alone. its like ptsd but idk from where i got it lol.
#53
I can be stubborn at times, even when I am aware that I am wrong. It's something I'm working on, but it's difficult to let go of the need to be right.
#54
I get bored super easily & quickly. Whether it be jobs, any type of relationships, hobbies etc. That also means that i don’t have strong emotions or feelings towards something such as friends, partners, acquaintances, hobbies etc. Idk why Ig I just don’t like sticking to one thing.
#55
I have an avoidant attachment style and I’ve been told by past partners that I’m too independent. Guess I should stay single lol.
#56
I talk about myself as a nervous tick and will fudge insignificant details to seem like my rambling has relevance. It's not big stuff just tiny stuff about my hometown and things like that. It started after I emigrated, I think it's an attempt at assimilating. I want to stop ?.
#57
I start making mean af jokes about people when I don't feel like being alive ?.
#58
I tend to crave affirmation, status, and recognition; life balances this out by saddling me with crises that prevent my experiencing them.
#59
I have poor emotional boundaries which leads to me being dependent on other's moods and reactions to feel okay which leads to trying to control them.
#60
Letting people walk all over me and have them influence my mood, feelings and decisions.
#61
I ghost people.
#62
Even though I give everyone a chance, I am horrible about giving second chances. I used to be a doormat and just let the world walk over me, I think I over corrected.
#63
It’s not toxic but it’s not healthy: hyper independence.
#64
I will find your weakness or something you did that was bad and hold it in my back pocket. If you p**s me off, which takes a lot, I will use it against you. I also hold grudges.
Other than that, I'm pretty good.
Image credits: minnesotafrozen
#65
I can be way too quick to dismiss other people’s opinions when i’m stressed.
#66
I'm too chill and "go with the flow" and it leads to resentment when I let someone walk all over me instead of setting a boundary.
#67
Codependent. I'm learning that it's due to generational trauma. I finally re-started therapy and being honest with the therapist and myself (and others). I have many regrets, but I'm determined to be a better person and build the life I want and deserve. Codependents Anonymous has been very helpful for me.
Image credits: Crabby_McCrabberson
#68
Apparently, if I really like a guy, I get really clingy, needy, jealous and possessive.
I know it's not healthy but my bf actually thinks it's hot so...doubt I'm going to rectify it any time soon.
#69
My moods aren't something I always have control of so some jokes I'll laugh at one day will also hurt my feelings the next time. I could be having a good day but sometimes my mood just drops. I hate this about myself and if I fight against the bad mood I just cry. It's hard to explain to my partner and it's hard for them to understand it's not their doing. Also, I'm stressed in loud social settings sometimes it becomes impossible for me to talk with people so it looks like from the outside that I'm in a bad mood or upset. I forget things to the point I'm convinced I never heard of the thing or plan. I realize often too late that I am the wrong one.
#70
I've had a tendency to be manipulative in the past, something I'm trying to stop doing.
#71
I can be mean to perfectly lovely people, especially when I was high school.
#72
Lack of an effort to improve.
#73
I’m a terrible loser. I can’t enjoy any game of there is competition involved. It will upset me so much to lose. More so if someone is showing pride for their good performance— makes me angry. I was raised with expectations of always outperforming everyone. It’s not healthy, and I don’t like that I’m that way.
#74
I'm irritable, and I have a hard time hiding that fact sometimes.
#75
I’m extremely vain.
To be fair I work very hard on holding my appearance to a high standard. I’ve been in the gym for a very long time and do work hard for the money that it takes for everything else.
But the vanity comes from a place of major insecurity and that in itself is majorly toxic as well.
I wouldn’t say I put this on other people though. But it can be an issue that comes out in different ways in romantic relationships.
#76
I like to argue. It's fun to me. It's not fun to other people.
#77
I'm shallow. Like, REAL shallow. I hate it but can't fix it.
#78
I’m jealous but I love the attention of others myself ?.
#79
When people I’m jealous of fail I REALLY enjoy it.
#80
Idk about toxic, but I act like "prey" for lack of better word In english. I'm extremely naive and easily gaslit lol. Hoping to grow thicker skin as I enter my ~~300s~~ 30s.
#81
I’m a control freak, which isn’t good when you’re trying to figure out a co-parenting relationship.
#82
I don't accept apologies and refuse to "be the bigger person" and forgive people. I treat people the way that they treat me.
#83
Too passive aggressive where people might not recognize it.
#84
Me: sees missing kid notice
Notice: 17 year old with blonde hair, tattoo on shoulder, 5’7”, 230 lbs,….
Me: that’s really heavy for that height.
Image credits: Puzzleheaded_Lab1626
#85
I detach from friends who get upset when they don’t hear from me.
#86
I punish myself for being late, and then I punish everyone else for being late too.
#87
Constantly checking your ex's social media even though you know it's not healthy. Let's just say I'm a pro at lurking.
