Moving on from a breakup is no easy feat—it’s messy and takes patience, plenty of tissues, and the reassurance of loved ones to remind you that you’re on the right path.
This Redditor’s family, however, decided to make things infinitely more complicated. Rather than helping him heal, they continued to spend time with his ex. And now that he’s in a new relationship, they thought inviting her for Thanksgiving and Christmas would be a great idea.
Yeah, it’s a lot. So the man turned to the internet for advice on how to handle it. Read the full story and what others had to say below.
After a rough breakup, the man moved on with his life
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
His family, however, seemed unwilling to do the same and decided to invite his ex for the holidays
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: AwkwardSweetTA
Image credits: mikoto.raw Photographer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Research says it takes 3 months to start feeling better after a breakup
It truly is unfortunate when your family ends up making it even harder to move on from a past relationship. As if breakups weren’t already difficult enough, right?
But here’s a little reassurance: even with the sleepless nights, sad playlists, occasional social media stalking, and those “just wanted to get some closure” texts, most people begin to feel better sooner than they expect. According to a study by Gary Lewandowski Jr. and Nicole Bizzoco, 71% of 155 undergraduates surveyed reported feeling significantly better about their breakups around the 11-week mark, which is just shy of 3 months.
Of course, while that timeline offers hope, it’s important to remember that healing isn’t a race. “I would actually caution a client from getting too attached to the notion that there is some sort of equation or ‘right’ amount of time to get over a break-up,” says Dr. Sarah Bren, a psychologist in Manhattan. While you might notice some improvement after a few weeks, there’s no magic date when everything will suddenly feel okay.
“In reality, the end of a serious relationship is going to mean very different things to different people—and how long it will hurt could be impacted by earlier experiences like trauma or losses of other significant people in their life,” Dr. Bren adds.
Moving on requires allowing yourself to feel the full range of emotions, both the painful and the positive. “Accepting that we can feel sad and also feel happiness is an important part of the healing process and getting through a breakup, because it reduces our chances of getting stuck in our sadness and becoming hopeless,” says Dr. Bren.
Still, while it’s healthy to acknowledge and process those feelings, it’s equally essential not to let them take over completely. “While we are giving ourselves permission to feel our pain with no pressure of an expiration date, it is a good idea to find ways not to wallow in the pain or get stuck feeling that as our only feeling,” explains Dr. Bren.
So, what can help? Surround yourself with supportive friends and find moments of joy in the little things. “Go to a funny movie or go out for a nice meal with good conversation,” suggests Dr. Bren. Little steps like these can help you find your footing and move forward.
Readers responded with plenty of questions and advice
Encouraged by their support, the man decided not to spend the holidays with his family
Image credits: Amanda Sixsmith / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: AwkwardSweetTA
Guy Seeks Advice Online: “My Family Invited My Ex To Thanksgiving And Christmas” Bored Panda
