A man who spiralled down a black hole of alcohol and cocaine addiction has escaped his demons to experience a new life on the high seas. Former bartender Alex Sloan said throughout his early 20s he was always the 'last one standing' after a night out and his love of partying till the early mornings catapulted out of control.
He was soon on month-long drugs and alcohol binges which eventually resulted in temporary nerve problems and paralysis in early 2018, the Liverpool ECHO reports. It wasn't until Alex's addiction left him with a paralysed shoulder blade for eight months and no vocal chords for four months that he realised he had to make a change - but his friends continued to tell him it was 'just a bit of fun'.
Recalling how the toxic sessions used to make him feel, he said: “It felt like the more messed up I was the better the night was for everyone, the busier the bar got and the more praise I got. Looking back, it was a vicious circle. My life consisted of gigging, wild nights in the bar and partying — alcohol and cocaine had got a grip of me.”
Alex's troubles with substance abuse began when he was a teenager and he took up work in a Liverpool city centre bar and also performed in a band called the Kavez. After being bullied in school, he left with a determination to become popular and respected by his peers but the 'high life' came at a cost after he began regularly using alcohol and drugs.
He said: “Being in the band opened my eyes to partying and people started wanting to be around me. I developed a name for myself for being the crazy one who was always the last one standing.
"Then as the bar was getting busier and busier I was responsible for providing a boss night and having hundreds of people a night coming up to me and praising me.” His addiction worsened during the Christmas period of 2017, with disastrous consequences.
He explained: “I was working from 10am – 1am every day for 15 days but was taking cocaine every day to keep going. Those 1ams turned into 5ams and some days I’d just stay in there and work right through, having a nap in the office before the next shift.
"Shortly after that month-long binge, I had really bad issues with my nerves and ended up with my left shoulder blade being paralysed for 8 months. Not long after that the nerves in my vocal chords shut off leaving me without a voice for 4 months.
"I had so many conversations with my mates saying, I need to stop, I don’t want to keep doing this anymore, but they told me it was OK and just a bit of fun.” Alex tried to overcome his addiction several times but continued to relapse despite his paralysed shoulder blade and inability to speak.
As a last resort, he quit his job and took up work on a cruise liner so he would not be able to participate in the party lifestyle. He recalled: “The first three weeks were horrendous going completely cold turkey travelling around the Baltic in the middle of winter.
"All my so-called ‘mates’ hadn’t messaged once to see how I was or even what I was doing. I was the only English-speaking person on the ship out of 5,000, I’ve never felt so isolated in my life.
"After four months of constant daily mental battle about wanting to give up and come home I settled into it and really enjoyed the rest of the eight month contract. I thought I’d finally beat my demons.
"I had been sober for 8 months and didn’t even think about partying anymore. I was in the best physical and mental state I had been in years.
“That all quickly changed when I returned from the ships. The day I got home I was out for four days and before I knew it, I had fallen back into my old ways.
"I had spent half of my savings from the last eight months on partying and before I knew it, it was like I hadn’t been away at all and I was right back in that life. Its hard for me to explain the hatred I had for myself and not wanting to carry on anymore, I had tried and failed too many times and I was completely defeated.
"That was the lowest point in my life. I remember having a conversation with my mum and thinking how destroyed she would be if she knew what her only child had turned into — slowly killing myself with substance abuse."
Continuing on with his cruise liner work, Alex managed to gradually cut down on his drugs and alcohol intake and finally had his last drink on Boxing Day 2021. Now 28-years-old, the former musician is a qualified personal trainer at the Limitless Lifestyle Community which he founded with friend Levi Osborne with the aim of promoting sustainable, healthy lifestyles.
He said: “I’ve turned my life around massively — if I didn’t I might not even be here today. It was a long and lonely journey that I almost never made it to the end of on a couple of occasions.
"I knew then that I wanted to create something that would help people overcome anything they were struggling with, whether it was partying, disordered eating, self confidence or self love. If you really want to make the change you must look at yourself, who you spend your time with and you will have to make some tough decisions.
"One thing I found on my five-year journey is that it’s so much harder to do it on your own. I don’t want anyone to have to suffer on their own like I did and I’m so grateful to have been able to create a community with Levi that helps so many people.”
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