Ending a relationship, especially a lengthy one, isn’t easy for anyone involved. But sometimes there is no other choice for partners but to go in different directions.
For this redditor, it was his wife’s infidelity that encouraged him to file for divorce, which she didn’t take well. Despite arguably being the one to bring the relationship to an end, she presented herself as a victim; even more so when the OP brought his new partner to a church BBQ they both attended.
Scroll down to find the full story below, where you will also find Bored Panda’s interview with the OP himself, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions.
Seeing your ex-partner happy with someone new can be a hard pill to swallow
Image credits: RossHelen (not the actual photo)
This man wanted to “flex on his ex” after she had multiple affairs during their marriage
Image credits: GSR-PhotoStudio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: biasciolialessandro (not the actual photo)
Image source: workhop_joe
The man had no intention of talking to his ex-wife at the BBQ
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Despite often being the reason for divorce, infidelity is not that uncommon. According to Statista’s data from 2021, more than one-in-five Americans admitted to having cheated on their partner—current or previous—that year. And while many of them likely regret ever being unfaithful to their significant other, some do it repeatedly, sometimes even putting the blame on everyone else but them.
In his post, the OP mentioned that his wife, too, was one of the people who believed they were a victim, even though it was her infidelity that arguably ended their marriage. “For someone who had four affairs, she has such bitterness because I have exposed her,” he told Bored Panda in a recent interview. “Instead of having remorse, she tries to hurt me in any way she can.”
The man shared that the BBQ they attended was a large gathering of over 100 people, and that he had no intention of speaking to his ex-wife. “We set up our chairs on the side of the park at the edge of the grass away from where my ex wife and her friends were sitting. She came into our space. It was also quite a number that she got my friend—the pastor—involved because he was there to have fun as well; he didn’t need to referee anything.
“I honestly thought she would keep to herself,” the OP continued, adding that he wouldn’t see his ex-wife as confrontational. “I was shocked to hear her introduce herself as ‘my wife’; it was as if she was hoping to rattle my girlfriend. To also hear her tell me that it wasn’t my church anymore was hurtful. I served as a Sunday School teacher, high school leader, college group leader, men’s ministry leader and Deacon. I poured my life into that church. It was crazy for her to claim possession and ask me to leave.”
It’s evident that the OP devoted a lot of his time and energy into the church he was attending (even though, nowadays, fewer and fewer people reportedly do). But that didn’t stop fellow church goers from spreading rumors about him; seemingly not without help from his ex-wife.
“The people in my friend group said they would support us both through the divorce, but it quickly became apparent that it wasn’t the case – gossip started within a few months.”
The netizen shared that his friends were supportive of him and friendly with his new partner
Image credits: Helena Lopes (not the actual photo)
“I began dating around four months after leaving my wife,” the redditor shared with Bored Panda, adding that when he did, his ex-wife got a hold of that woman’s ex-husband and called him telling him that his ex—the woman the OP was dating—was having an affair with him.
“She also told my kids I had a girlfriend at the time. I wasn’t going to share with them yet as things were fresh,” he recalled. “As the rumors grew, I was at my old church and a former close friend gave me the cold shoulder while speaking to a man that had a sexual affair with my ex. My former friend knew it was the affair partner and I said enough was enough. I wasn’t going to be treated like an outcast at my own church.”
The redditor said that he was now attending a different church – one where people saw the dynamic between his ex-wife and himself, as the two both worked there during the last year of their marriage. “That new church has been very supportive of myself and my kids through this process,” the OP shared, adding that his ex-wife tried asking said church to fire him.
In addition to the new church, the redditor also had the support of his close friends. After discussing the situation at the BBQ with them, he learned that they thought she was ridiculous. “To watch her be offended while seeking comfort from a man she had an affair with was unbelievable. All you could do was laugh. There is no other way to look at something so preposterous,” he said, pointing out that his friends were really kind and supportive of his girlfriend.
“I have a wonderful new partner and I won’t be scared of upsetting my ex,” the OP summed up. “We live in a small community and we will run into each other; my ex will have to grow up and deal with it. I hope to have my divorce finalized soon so I can fully move on with my life.”
The OP shared more details in the comments
Some people couldn’t believe the behavior of some of the churchgoers
