A man is demanding that his friends cancel a member of their group for her "outright racist" Halloween costume — while others are rushing to her defense.
A female member of the group took to the social media network Reddit to say she feels conflicted over the outrage sparked by the "gypsy pirate costume" purchased by her friend off Amazon.
On Halloween, the group met up in their costumes at a church "trunk or treat" event to take photos together, the woman told the forum TwoHotTakes. The man in question, Jay, initially complimented the friend's get-up, the post claims, noting that she "went all out with jewelry, a hat, swords, fake scars, etc."
That night the decked-out friend posted the photos to social media, calling herself a "pirate gypsy" in the caption.
"I thought nothing of this," the woman said, explaining that she had never before thought much about "what a gypsy is."
Jay, however, proceeded to forward a screenshot of the picture's caption to the group chat: "He was absolutely livid at her for the post, saying he was grossed out by her insensitivity and outright racist behavior."
"What in the world are you talking about?" she asked Jay, as he and another friend explained that "gypsy" is considered a slur to the Romani people, a long-suffering minority. She recalls agreeing that the post was "not good," but "highly doubted" their friend was aware of the offensive connotation.
"This isn't someone I could ever see being outwardly hateful to really anyone for anything. Especially not on social media," the defending friend said. Another friend in the text thread suggested "it could be an innocent mistake and an issue of just not knowing."
Jay disagreed, insisting "ignorance is not an excuse for a full display of cultural appropriation and racism." He planned to block her on all social media platforms and disinvite her from the group's Friday night Halloween bash to avoid "associating with a racist."
"I say he's blown this way out of proportion because we don't even know what her intentions were," she continued.
The woman decided to message the friend and ask her directly why she chose the costume. The friend readily explained that she'd been to a Renaissance festival over the summer and decided she wanted to emulate a look she saw there for Halloween, adding that the "gypsy pirate" costume she found on Amazon matched her Ren Faire inspiration.
Concluding that she didn't want to "just cut someone off who may not know they even did anything wrong," but also not wanting to support racism, the woman asked Reddit, "Am I the a--hole for not just cutting her off?"
The comments didn't offer a clear consensus on how offensive the costume was, but everyone seemed to agree that Jay was not being a good friend.
There was debate over whether or not "gypsy" is definitively a slur.
Some people, like the poster, expressed their readiness to drop the term upon learning it could be offensive.
The folks who considered it offensive still condemned Jay's failure to take advantage of a teachable moment for his friend.
A lot of users were confused by Jay's unwillingness to help their friend learn from what they considered an innocent mistake.
There was more criticism for Jay, accusing him of performative outrage, virtue signaling and "white savior" complex.
Some even argued that if anyone should be cancelled, it's Jay.
Whatever becomes of this friend group, they should consider sitting out haunted houses and scary movies this Halloween weekend, because they've already confronted the chilling modern horror of how one insensitive misstep could get any of them canceled and ghosted.
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