Some relationships should come with a warning sign, like those we see on roller coasters, for example: “Proceed with caution – may contain unexpected questions that can ruin your vibe!” One minute you’re all cozied up next to your partner, and the next they blurt out a wild question about raising “hypothetical affair babies.” Well, that’s one way of ruining the mood.
That’s exactly what one Redditor experienced when her boyfriend she had been dating for 7 years decided to pop the question. Spoiler alert: it’s probably not the question you’re thinking of.
More info: Reddit
Some relationships are all sunshine and rainbows until someone pops the wrong question
Image credits: SHVETS production / Pexels (not the actual photo)
One woman was blindsided when her boyfriend of 7 years casually asked if she’d raise his “hypothetical affair baby”
Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The woman asked her boyfriend if he was trying to tell her something, but he denied it, saying it was just a simple question
Image credits: Keira Burton / Pexels (not the actual photo)
With a painful family history of infidelity, that question felt like a punch to the gut for the woman
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The woman broke up with her boyfriend of 7 years after finding out that he knocked up his mistress and asked the woman to raise the baby with him
Our poster, Ava (not her real name, but we’ll just call her that), is a 25-year-old woman in love. She had been dating her boyfriend for 7 years, and everything was going well, until something weird happened. One day, the two lovebirds were hanging out at the guy’s place when he casually asked Ava if she would raise his “hypothetical child” if he ever had an affair. Wait, what now?! That’s a can of worms no one was ready for.
Ava was speechless, obviously. She was just sitting there in front of the guy, in awkward silence, not sure what to think. After all, she was childless by choice and so was her boyfriend, or at least that’s what she thought. Finally, Ava asked the guy the obvious question: “Is there something you’re trying to tell me?” Let’s be real, anyone would be suspicious in this situation.
The boyfriend got all defensive, saying it was just an innocent question. Oh, sure, because clearly that’s the kind of casual question you’d toss around during date night. Seriously, who even says that?
At this point, Ava’s anger was bubbling up, ready to burst. So, our girl did what any of us would have probably done: she left. But, instead of her boyfriend groveling and apologizing like he should have, he doubled down, trying to justify himself with the classic “but the child is innocent” argument.
Image credits: Alena Darmel / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Some of their mutual friends even got involved, telling Ava she should at least hear the guy out. But our Redditor wasn’t having it. She was too heartbroken and mad to talk to the guy, and rightfully so. When you’re with someone for 7 years, the last thing you would expect from them is to throw a cheating scenario in your face.
But, it turns out, this guy was knee-deep into a mess of his own making. When Ava finally calmed down and met up with him to talk things through, he confessed. Yep, you guessed it. He cheated. But wait, it gets even worse! The woman he cheated with was pregnant. So, that hypothetical baby of his wasn’t so hypothetical after all.
And, because he’s just such a thoughtful guy, he figured Ava might want to raise the kid with him. You know, since the baby wasn’t hers, so she’d be spared the whole pregnancy thing. Gee, how considerate.
It’s like he suddenly forgot all about her family’s painful history with cheating, ignored her feelings and basically everything that made Ava, well, Ava. The guy thought this was an “opportunity” for both of them. Seriously, dude? It’s one thing to make a mistake, but trying to force your girlfriend to play stepmom to your affair baby because it’s convenient for you, is a whole new level.
If you’re feeling a bit light-headed just reading this, just imagine going through it. Betrayal like this doesn’t hurt just because someone stepped out on you, but it completely shatters your trust in the relationship. As therapists would say, trust is the glue that holds any long-term relationship together. And, once it’s cracked it’s like trying to glue back a shattered vase – no matter how hard you try, it’s not going to look the same.
And for people with a history of trauma related to infidelity, like our Redditor, the emotional fallout is even worse. Infidelity trauma can resurface old wounds and amplify emotional triggers. For example, for Ava, her boyfriend’s cheating wasn’t just a slip-up, but more like a wrecking ball that crashed directly into her deepest fears, reminding her of all those painful memories she had as a kid.
If you really want to fix your relationship after infidelity, you should be aware that it’s going to take a lot of hard work. It can be done, but you need transparency, remorse and genuine commitment to change.
What do you think of this story? What would you have done in Ava’s situation? Drop your comments below.
Netizens side with the woman, saying she was right to leave the man after he confessed to cheating
Before the update, some netizens thought it was just a harmless question and believed the poster overreacted
