Taking care of kids is a full-time job—one that, unless you’re the parent, usually comes with a paycheck.
This Redditor asked her mom to babysit her two young children while she and her husband worked, offering to pay her $3,000 a month. But her husband complained it was too expensive, so they switched to daycare instead. That plan backfired—daycare cost even more, came with fewer perks, and left them scrambling. Now, after realizing he messed up, the husband wants grandma back. But she’s not so eager to return.
Read the full story below.
The man refused to pay his mother-in-law $3,000 to watch his kids
Image credits: anita_bonita7 / freepik (not the actual photo)
But after switching to daycare and watching the costs pile up, he’s insisting she come back
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwaway1929379
Should grandparents be paid to look after their grandchildren?
Image credits: ollyy / freepik (not the actual photo)
In many cultures, there’s an unspoken expectation that if grandparents are around, they’ll help raise their grandkids. And most of the time, they’re happy to do it. But looking after children takes time and effort, and it’s almost always unpaid.
That raises the question: should grandparents be compensated for childcare, or does that take away from the spirit of family support and community?
For some grandparents, being involved in their grandkids’ upbringing can take a toll on their finances.
A study by UK insurance company SunLife found that 43% of grandparents provide childcare during school holidays and inset days. On average, they spend 18 hours a week—more than two full workdays—doing school runs, cooking, cleaning, tutoring, and generally looking after their grandkids.
If they were paid the going rate of a nanny, that time would be worth £216 per week, or more than £11,000 a year, almost the same as a full state pension.
Not only are grandparents not getting paid, but 83% of them are actually spending their own money while providing free childcare—about £50 a week. “So there is a very tangible financial cost to the help they are providing, which parents should really be covering as a minimum if they can afford to,” says Mark Screeton, CEO of SunLife, in a conversation with The Times.
Isang Awah from the University of Oxford’s Global Parenting Initiative, also speaking with The Times, believes grandparents shouldn’t charge for childcare, arguing that it could “strain relationships, confuse family roles, and have a negative impact on a child’s upbringing.”
She explains that grandparents are an important part of the family, creating close bonds and a sense of continuity. Looking after their grandkids gives them the chance to connect, provide emotional support, and help raise them in a loving environment. It’s a win-win that brings everyone closer in the process.
“Charging for childcare alters this dynamic, making it transactional,” Awah says. “If a child realises that their grandparents are being paid to care for them, it could create confusion about family relationships and affect their emotional connections.”
It could also put pressure on grandparents to act more like professional caregivers, changing the way they interact with their grandkids. Meanwhile, parents might feel like their own parents are prioritizing money over family, which can cause tension. especially if one set of grandparents expects payment while the other helps out for free.
The SunLife study also noted that only 4% of grandparents actually resent providing free childcare. So ultimately, this conversation shouldn’t be happening in a vacuum—it depends on each family’s circumstances. Are the grandparents giving up most of their free time to watch the kids? Is it putting a financial burden on them? These are important factors to consider.
At the end of the day, family is family. And as Awah pointed out, treating it like a business arrangement could do more harm than good.
Most commenters defended the woman, calling her husband entitled
But some felt both were to blame for putting grandma in a tough spot
One even suggested she quit her job and become a stay-at-home mom
