Final plug from me as I wrap things up, John Brewin has minute-by-minute updates from the City Ground as Forest host Manchester United:
Simon Mail was at Selhurst Park…
Will Unwin’s view from Molineux:
On the whistle reports dropping:
National League full-time results
Barnet 1-0 Southend United
Bromley 5-1 Ebbsfleet United
Kidderminster Harriers 1-2 Boreham Wood
Oldham Athletic 2-0 Hartlepool United
Fitba full-time results
Scottish Premiership
Aberdeen 0-3 St Mirren
Hearts 2-2 Ross County
Kilmarnock 2-2 Dundee
Motherwell 3-1 Livingston
Scottish Championship
Ayr United 2-2 Dunfermline
Inverness Caledonian Thistle 0-0 Greenock Morton
Queen’s Park 1-2 Airdrieonians
Raith Rovers 2-2 Arbroath
Scottish League One
Edinburgh City 2-5 Hamilton Academical
Falkirk 5-0 Stirling Albion
Montrose 1-1 Cove Rangers
Queen of the South 2-1 Annan Athletic
Scottish League Two
Clyde 1-2 Stenhousemuir
Elgin City 2-1 Peterhead
Forfar Athletic 0-0 East Fife
Premier League final scores
Aston Villa 3-2 Burnley
Crystal Palace 3-1 Brentford
Man City 2-0 Sheff Utd
Wolverhampton 3-0 Everton
Full-time: Aston Villa 3-2 Burnley
Battling performance from the visitors but Villa get the win. That handball should be a big talking point.
Updated
Full-time: Wolves 3-0 Everton
Another good result for Gary O’Neill’s Wolves. Everton are tough to beat so this is a fine win.
Updated
We might have an answer on Dyche here:
Prepare to have your mind blown... pic.twitter.com/TBoBStDm5C
— Conor McNamara (@ConorMcNamaraIE) December 14, 2017
Full-time: Crystal Palace 3-1 Brentford
Olise delivers for the Eagles, a first win in nine for Roy Hodgson’s side.
Updated
We have nine minutes of added time at Villa Park. Will there be another twist?
Full-time: Manchester City 2-0 Sheffield United
All over, routine win for City. The Blades were very passive after the break.
Goal! Aston Villa 3-2 Burnley (Douglas Luis 89, pen)
Late heartbreak for Burnley as Douglas Luis sees his penalty go in off the underside of the bar.
Updated
We have a penalty at Villa Park, it’s soft but Douglas Luis will take it…
Updated
Not only did Arbroath keeper Ali Adams score an unlikely goal but it was a thunderbolt. I was hoping he would have keeper gloves on, but you can’t have everything.
Arbroath Goalkeeper Ali Adams (Playing as a centre forward) has just scored a 30 yard screamer against Raith Rovers. #cinchChampionship | #Arbroath pic.twitter.com/STzXf99OK3
— SNS Group (@snsgroup) December 30, 2023
More mispronounciation gripes, David Howell (probably not the golfer) emails in:
Why does almost everyone still pronounce Kevin de Bruyne’s surname as ‘de BROY-nuh’ given how he’s pointed out it’s ‘de BRU-nuh’? The only exceptions I can think of are Derek Rae, 5 Live’s excellent John Murray, and... Sam Matterface tries but usually finds a new and original mispronunciation, which just about sums up the real Alan Partridge in him.
Updated
83min: This is very comfortable for City, just stroking it around. Surely we’ll see De Bruyne soon?
Simon McMahon has a fitba update:
Still no goals at Forfar, the home side seemingly happy to settle for a point after being reduced to 10 men in the first half. In the Scottish Championship an injury forced Arbroath to send on their substitute goalkeeper to play up front against Raith, and they then promptly conceded again to trail 2-0.
Wait, there’s more:
Hang on! The goalie has just scored to make it 2-1!
This was minute’s ago, Leighton McIntosh has just made it Raith 2-2 Arbroath from the penalty spot. It’s also 2-2 between Hearts and Ross County.
A couple of emails on the Dyche pronounciation to update on…
Kieran Geoghegan muses:
I’ve always wondered if he thinks he’d be a top-four boss if his name was Dicci.
Marcos thinks he has the answer:
According to Wikipedia, Dyche’s name is “Sean Mark Dyche, pronounced /daɪtʃ/.” For those who don’t read IPA, that is indeed Deisshhh. As we all know, Wikipedia is 100% reliable at all times, so case closed as far as I’m concerned.
Updated
Goal! Aston Villa 2-2 Burnley (Foster 71)
Villa are done by a long ball! Ten-man Burnley are back in it as Foster races on to a flick-on and beats Emi Martinez.
Updated
Wolves denied a fourth. Hwang has it in the net but a quick VAR check reveals he’d gone too soon and was offside.
74mins: Nervy moment for Foderingham as he is closed down by Alvarez, the keeper’s clearance ricochets behind for a goal kick.
The Premier League action continues later on. John Brewin is your man for Forest v Manchester United:
I’ve now seen it, nailed on handball.
VAR controversy at Villa Park! Mike Dean on Soccer Saturday says he doesn’t know how Burnley aren’t awarded a penalty against Diego Carlos for handball. More on that as I can grift some images from the Internet.
Goal! Crystal Palace 3-1 Brentford (Olise 58)
Wonderful goal from Olise, driving at the heart of the Brentford defence skipping past challenges and placing a low shot home. Ii think we should be *officially* worried about Brentford.
Updated
Goal! Wolves 3-0 Everton (Dawson 61)
He nearly got one earlier but now he is on the scoresheet, Dawson deepens Everton’s woes.
Updated
Red card!
Burnley down to ten as Sander Berge earns a second yellow for a pull back. Long way back from here.
Goal! Manchester City 2-0 Sheffield United (Alvarez 61)
That is a textbook City goal, Bobb slips in Foden on the left hand side of the box, he rolls it across the six-yard box where Alvarez is sliding in at the back post.
Updated
Goal! Wolves 2-0 Everton (Cunha 53)
Second shot on target, second goal for Wolves. Matheus Cunha wanted it more at the back post to get on the end of Hwang Hee-chan’s cross.
Updated
55mins: Couple of openings for City but it remains 1-0. First Phil Foden latches on to a lofted ball over the top of the United backline, he rounds Foderingham but cannot get the shot off from the angle as his feet become uncharacteristically tangled. Bobb picks up the loose ball and drives into the box, finding Julian Alvarez but the forward blazes his shot over from eight yards out.
51mins: Jack Grealish is going off, which seems early, perhaps a little knock? Oscar Bobb is on.
We don’t have an answer on the Dyche issue, but here’s a nice story from Tom Williams:
The Sean Deisshhh/Dyke issue reminds me of when I met Mark Gatiss on a train in to south Wales. I said to him in the bar carriage (now sadly gone on First Great Western!): “Excuse me, are you Mark Gay-tiss?” He congratulated me on the audacity of pronouncing the first syllable of his first name correctly, as many opt for ‘Gat-iss’. I thought he might be going down to watch Newport County in action, but apparently he was off to film Dr Who. Likely story.
Peeeeep! Peeeep!
Second half is underway at the Etihad (and most other places).
Updated
Query for the readers from Phil Woolf:
I’m currently laid up with post-Christmas flu and enjoying the Everton shindig. Do you or any of the readers know why does every single commentator mispronounce Sean Dyche’s surname? He has gone on record as it’s pronounced “Dike”, so why all this sibilant pussyfooting around with “Deischhh” and the likes?
I had no idea it wasn’t “Deischhh”. Anyone else?
National Leaue half-time scores
Barnet 0-0 Southend United
Bromley 2-1 Ebbsfleet United
Kidderminster Harriers 1-2 Boreham Wood
Oldham Athletic 1-0 Hartlepool United
Scottish half-time scores
Scottish Premiership
Aberdeen 0-1 St Mirren
Hearts 0-0 Ross County
Kilmarnock 0-1 Dundee
Motherwell 3-1 Livingston
Scottish Championship
Ayr United 1-2 Dunfermline
Inverness Caledonian Thistle 0-0 Greenock Morton
Queen’s Park 1-0 Airdrieonians
Raith Rovers 1-0 Arbroath
Scottish League One
Edinburgh City 0-5 Hamilton Academical
Falkirk 4-0 Stirling Albion
Montrose 1-1 Cove Rangers
Queen of the South 1-1 Annan Athletic
Sottish League Two
Clyde 0-1 Stenhousemuir
Elgin City 1-0 Peterhead
Forfar Athletic 0-0 East Fife
Updated
Premier League half-time scores
Aston Villa 2-1 Burnley
Crystal Palace 2-1 Brentford
Manchester City 1-0 Sheffield United
Wolves 1-0 Everton
Updated
Half-time: Manchester City 1-0 Sheffield United
Rodri’s strike is the difference at the break.
Updated
44min: Rare chance for United as William Osula sees his goalbound effort blocked by Manuel Akanji and turned behind for a corner.
Goal! Aston Villa 2-1 Burnley (Diaby 42)
Watkins sprints in behind the Burnley backline and get to the byline to pull it back for Diaby. There’s a VAR check for offside against Watkins but he is well on.
Updated
Goal! Crystal Palace 2-1 Brentford (Eze 39)
The turnaround is complete! Jean-Philippe Mateta fails to control a pass on the edge of the area but Eberechi Eze is running in behind him to collect and slot the ball home.
Updated
We have a VAR check at Villa Park where Burnley have the ball in the net. Lyle Foster finishes well, but he is very narrowly offside.
Kevin Wilson poses an interesting question via email:
So if Palace replace Hodgson with Cooper, presumably to play a ‘better’ brand of football, with how many games left will they reappoint Hodgson when they’re genuinely in relegation danger?
This is the Selhurst Park purgatory, I’m fairly sure that Steve Parish is trying to clone Roy Hodgson to continue this cycle until the end of time.
Goal! Aston Villa 1-1 Burnley (Amdouni 31)
Well, well, well… the home side’s lead lasted barely three minutes at Villa Park as Zeki Amdouni converts from close-range after Burnley pump a set-piece from near halfway into the box.
Updated
Goal! Aston Villa 1-0 Burnley (Baily 28)
Ollie Watkins makes this, picking up the ball on the left and driving into the box before sliding it to Leon Bailey. The winger’s effort takes a deflection but rifles into the roof of the net.
Updated
Goal! Wolves 1-0 Everton (Kilman 25)
Tough on Jordan Pickford who does amazingly well to save Craig Dawson’s initial close-range effort as a dangerous cross comes in from the right, but Kilman is there to bundle in from the rebound.
Updated
Key event
23min: This won’t be a huge surprise but City have 85% possesion in the last 10 minutes.
21min: Chance for Bernardo Silva as he gets slipped in but from a tight angle on the edge of the six-yard box his shot is saved by Wes Foderingham away for a corner.
Updated
No goals yet at Station Park where Forfar take on East Fife, but Livingstone are trailing 2-0 at Motherwell in the Scottish Premiership.
Goal! Manchester City 1-0 Sheffield United (Rodri, 14)
Is there a more important player for City than Rodri? The midfielder gets on the scoresheet again with a trademark surging run. No United player gets anywhere near the Spaniard and he’s able to poke the ball home from just inside the box. Too easy.
Updated
Goal! Crystal Palace 1-1 Brentford (Olise 14)
The dangerman strikes back for Palace! Michael Olise gets on the end of Jordan Ayew’s cross to stab home at the back post to end any hopes of me securing a 100% record with my predictions.
Updated
11min: City are camped in the Blades’ half but not really creating anything. Chris Wilder’s side are camped deep and soaking up the pressure well. In short, nothing is happening.
Few early goals in Scotland. In the Scottish Championship, Dunfermline are 2-0 up at Ayr United, in League One it is Falkirk 1-0 Stirling Albion and Montrose 1-0 Cove Rangers.
Goal! Crystal Palace 0-1 Brentford (Lewis-Potter, 2)
After a VAR check that took longer than the game had been alive, we do have the first Premier League goal of the day. If that is it for the scoring my prediction will be on the mark. I can’t see it happening, to be honest.
Updated
4min: Not a lot going on at the Etihad to be honest. Slight scare for Ederson as he grabs an aimless and nearly carries it into his own net.
We have an early goal at Selhurst Park, or do we? Keane Lewis-Potter thinks he has Brentford ahead but we have a lengthy VAR check for offside going on. More on that as we get it.
Peeeeeep!
We are underway!
Updated
Follow-up from Jeff:
I thought of Brighton when I wrote previous email. It has mixed results for them… Need very talented players to succeed at it.
I guess it comes down to your definition of success? I would say both Villa and Brighton are currently both enjoying life.
Predictions time…
Time to make myself look a fool, but here we go:
Aston Villa 3-0 Burnley
Crystal Palace 0-1 Brentford
Manchester City 4-0 Sheffield United
Wolves 1-1 Everton
I’ll revisit these at full-time if I’m correct, otherwise we’ll pretend it never happened.
Proper football email from Jeff Sax:
Last time Villa played they shipped three goals which were due to mistakes while passing out from the back. When is this nonsense going to stop?
I’m a Brighton fan, Jeff, so I hope never.
Not sure what this has to do with this afternoon’s football, but it has been dominating my doom scrolls so I’ll share. So, it’s easy to laugh at US sports culture with its dull chants, ‘world champions’ and Todd Boehly but when it comes to celebrating adverts Americans are unparalleled. Here is a Pop-Tart mascot celebrating its own death while being slowly lowered into a giant toaster at the end of a college football game, because sponsorship. As far as I’m aware, West Brom’s ‘Boiler Man’ never exploded on live TV so this is now my favourite mascot moment of all time. Anyone care to raise it?
Here we are... the edible mascot in the Pop-Tarts Bowl.. pic.twitter.com/0XgKGoXseS
— PJ Green (@PJGreenTV) December 29, 2023
Because I failed so miserably to preview the action north of the border, Simon McMahon has emailed in a handy guide:
In Scotland, Celtic are currently leading 2-1, but hanging on, against 10-man Rangers with just a few minutes left. Later, it’s Aberdeen v St. Mirren and Hearts v Ross County. In the Scottish Championship, Dundee United beat Partick Thistle 3-0 at Tannadice last night to move to within two points of leaders Raith, who host Arbroath today. In Scottish League Two, it’s the one clockwatchers have been waiting all year for, Forfar v East Fife. A nine goal thriller perhaps…?
I simply cannot believe I overlooked Forfar v East Fife on the fixture list. Old Firmers can get the last of the action here:
He’s got his lid done for the big day too:
👋 @KevinDeBruyne 🇧🇪#ManCity | #AsahiSuperDry pic.twitter.com/hQIwFYyTu6
— Manchester City (@ManCity) December 30, 2023
If you are not across what is going on at Kenilworth Road then I would suggest checking in with Rob Smyth’s MBM:
The BIG news from that lot is that Kevin De Bruyne is back on the bench for City, because they are a down-on-their-luck club in need of a break.
Wolves v Everton
Wolves: Jose Sa, Kilman, Dawson, Gomes, Nelson Semedo, Joao Gomes, Doyle, Ait Nouri, Hwang, Sarabia, Matheus Cunha. Subs: Doherty, Santiago Bueno, Traore, Pedro Neto, Hugo Bueno, Kalajdzic, Bentley, Bellegarde, Hodge.
Everton: Pickford, Patterson, Keane, Tarkowski, Branthwaite, Mykolenko, Harrison, Garner, Onana, McNeil, Calvert-Lewin. Subs: Danjuma, Virginia, Beto, Andre Gomes, Godfrey, Coleman, Chermiti, Hunt, Dobbin.
Manchester City v Sheffield United
Manchester City: Ederson, Walker, Akanji, Ake, Gvardiol, Kovacic, Rodri, Bernardo Silva, Foden, Grealish, Alvarez. Subs: Dias, Phillips, De Bruyne, Ortega, Gomez, Matheus Luiz, Bobb, Lewis, Hamilton.
Sheffield United: Foderingham, Baldock, Robinson, Trusty, Bogle, Vinicius Souza, Norwood, Thomas, Ben Slimane, Brooks, Osula. Subs: Adam Davies, Brewster, McBurnie, Archer, Traore, Osborn, Larouci, Norrington-Davies, Seriki.
Crystal Palace v Brentford
Crystal Palace: Henderson, Clyne, Andersen, Guehi, Mitchell, Lerma, Richards, Eze, Olise, Mateta, Ayew. Subs: Tomkins, Matheus Franca, Schlupp, Hughes, Edouard, Ahamada, Matthews, Riedewald, Ozoh.
Brentford: Flekken, Jorgensen, Collins, Pinnock, Roerslev, Jensen, Norgaard, Janelt, Ghoddos, Lewis-Potter, Wissa. Subs: Maupay, Onyeka, Strakosha, Damsgaard, Peart-Harris, Yarmolyuk, Olakigbe, Brierley, Adedokun.
Aston Villa v Burnley
Aston Villa: Martinez, Konsa, Diego Carlos, Lenglet, Alex Moreno, Bailey, McGinn, Douglas Luiz, Ramsey, Diaby, Watkins. Subs: Torres, Chambers, Zaniolo, Duran, Dendoncker, Marschall, Iroegbunam, Proctor.
Burnley: Trafford, Vitinho, O’Shea, Beyer, Taylor, Odobert, Berge, Brownhill, Gudmundsson, Foster, Amdouni. Subs: Rodriguez, Roberts, Redmond, Ramsey, Ndayishimiye, Bruun Larsen, Delcroix, Obafemi, Muric.
Who is ready for some team news? Well, I am…
Preamble
It’s not quite ‘new year, new me’ yet, so bust out what’s left of the Quality Street or the remainder of the biscuit selection and strap in for the last Premier League clockwatch of 2023.
We had a full slate of EFL games last night so it is really all about the top flight today. Manchester City v Sheffield United feels like a foregone conclusion and so – to a degree – does Aston Villa v Burnley. Wolves v Everton is more interesting than that fixture has any right to be, a meeting of two smart coaches with upward looking teams – therefore it is sure to be a dud. While Crystal Palace v Brentford is very much a ‘should we be worried about…’ derby. I am not really selling this well, am I?
Do not worry, I will also be sprinkling in a bit of Fitba and some National League to spice things up.
Who’s ready?
— Kudos (@manykudos) December 22, 2023
