Becoming a single parent after the loss of your spouse is a huge adjustment. Reddit user Pitiful_Shopping_818 tried his best to be a good dad while his heart was breaking but eventually, raising 4 children on his own proved too difficult for him to handle.
This was mainly due to the problems that his two step teenagers were creating. In a post on the subreddit ‘Am I the [Jerk?]‘, the widower explained that it had gotten so bad that he felt like he had to drop them off at his in-laws’ so that he could focus on his own 2 young kids.
However, when his relatives found out about it, they thought the man had made a big mistake.
Blending two families into one requires effort from everyone involved
Image credits: jm_video (not the actual photo)
And when this widower ended up alone with 4 children, he began feeling that his step children were very much against it
Image credits: valeriygoncharukphoto (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Pitiful_Shopping_818
Navigating grief after such a tragedy can be incredibly challenging for the whole family
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Adolescence is already a tumultuous period, so while people of all ages struggle with such losses, teenagers face particularly painful adaptation following the death of a loved one.
They grieve deeply but often work very hard to hide their true feelings. Fearing the vulnerability that comes with expression, teens look for distractions rather than stay with the process of grief long enough to find real relief.
Even though it might seem that these two have been acting as if nothing has happened, inside they are most probably grappling with a profound sense of confusion.
However, “When you have two sets of kids that were partially raised in different households with different rules and customs, it takes a while to integrate those systems and it is complicated,” Jeff Teichert, lawyer and author of Intentional Courtship, said. “It takes a certain amount of flexibility on the part of everyone involved to make it work.”
It sounds like the Redditor’s stepchildren hadn’t appreciated his efforts nor had they contributed to making their new arrangement work. Plus, the father needs to take care of himself, too. He might be so focused on tending to his children that he forgets this, but the man will likely not do his best parenting if he’s not tending to his emotional and physical needs.
Still, experts suggest surviving parents avoid major life shifts for about one to two years following the death of their spouse, as consistency offers a much-needed sense of security and reassurance.
As his story went viral, the man joined the discussion in its comment section
The post Stepdad Refuses To Raise Wife’s Kids When She Passes Away, Wonders If He’s In The Wrong first appeared on Bored Panda.
